


Camp Yellow Wood

by onceuponatime



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Smut, a little swearing, calum and ashton are really confused, luke is really sorry, michael holds grudges for a long time, they just want everyone to get along
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-03-18 03:17:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 49,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3554045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onceuponatime/pseuds/onceuponatime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So, Ash, introduce me to the fresh meat.”<br/>“Luke, Michael.” Ashton says, nodding to each respectively. “Michael, Luke.”<br/>Michael knew who Luke was the second he seen him, and when Luke hears his name and sees his face, his own face drains of colour and Michael knows he recognises him, too. But he’s quick to recompose himself, sticking his hand out and saying “Hey.”<br/>Michael doesn’t want to shake his hand but he does it anyway and if he squeezes a little harder than usual, well, whatever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

Michael’s sitting in the front seat of his mother’s car, his earphones in and Metallica turned up full volume. He knows she is trying to talk to him, but not hearing her is making the silent treatment easier. He’s mad at her, and there’s nothing she can say to him right now that will make him forgive her. 

He feels her pull out one of his earphones and he goes to put it back in when she slaps the back of his hand. “Michael,” she says sternly, and he knows she means business because for the past few weeks she’s been speaking in hushed tones and using loving words because she knows what she’s making him do is mean – almost evil – but it seems she’s cut the crap and is letting it all out. “I know you’re mad at me and you think I’m the most horrible bitch alive right now, but this will be good for you. Another summer shut in your room with that playstation was not happening, and this way, you’ll be able to meet people and make friends.”

“I have friends.” Michael mumbles.

“Your Pokémon don’t count.” And wow, low blow. 

“You’re forcing me to spend eight weeks in some forest with a bunch of preppy rich kids who are going to judge me before they even know me, while looking after snotty little children whose parents would probably pull them out if they knew I was their counsellor.”

“Well, you could have dyed your hair brown or something.” His mother suggests and Michael scoffs, catching a glimpse of his bright green hair in his reflection on the car window. 

“The hair isn’t the problem, mom. It’s just .... everything. They’re gonna be walking around in cashmere sweaters and boat shoes and I have two pairs of jeans and three year old Converse.”

“Ridiculous, it’s camp; they won’t be wearing boat shoes. And I think you’re judging them before you even see them. They’re just teenagers like you, Michael.”

“That’s the problem. I hate teenagers.”

“You’re impossible, d’you know that? It took a lot to get you this job. Think how good this will look on your resumé! And Sarah even put in a good word for you, don’t make her regret it.”

“Wouldn’t wanna upset Sarah.”

“Michael for god’s sake, at least try. Will you just try?”

“Yes, mom, I’ll try.” He rolls his eyes because he knows he won’t. If it comes to it he’ll lock himself in his cabin. The rules say he’s only allowed a mobile phone which is only to be turned on at weekends, but Michael has his Nintendo and PSP and if he can get away with staying in his cabin for eight weeks, he’ll do it.

***

The car pulls up at the camp gates and already Michael can see it’s expensive to go here and already he feels out of place. From the car he can see a large, glistening lake with a pier, and to the left of this he can see a row of wooden cabins. Behind the cabins lie the woods, dark and almost ominous and he hopes he never has to go in there because his sense of direction is terrible and he doesn’t feel like starving to death before he’s twenty. 

His mom gets out of the car first and heads to the trunk and starts pulling out his suitcases. He allows himself one last second in the car before getting out and helping her. They’ve just hauled out the last one when someone tips Michael on the shoulder and when he turns around he’s met with a smiling face and blond curls barley contained by a bright red bandanna. 

“Hi,” the guy says, extending his hand to Michael and then to his mom. “I’m Ashton. I’m like.... captain of the counsellors. Not that I can tell you what to do or whatever, I’ve just been coming here the longest. And you must be Michael, yeah?” he says, looking at his clipboard.  
Michael just nods, and his mom elbows him in the side. “Yeah,” he croaks out. “I’m Michael. Nice to meet you.” And he wants to curtsey or something to let Ashton know how seriously he’s taking this, i.e. not at all, but Ashton seems nice and he isn’t speaking down to Michael or looking at him like he’s the gum on the bottom of his shoe, so he decides  
to be nice. He can almost feel his mom sigh with relief. 

“Ok, great. You’re the last on to get here, so you’ll be taking the blue cabin with Calum. I’m taking red with Luke, and then yellow is being run by Jake and Brendan. You’ll meet all these guys later, there’s a formal. Well, I say formal but we all just meet in the dining hall and have dinner and talk before the kids get here tomorrow. There, you’ll meet Spencer, who basically runs the camp, and probably Geoff and Sarah, too. They’re in charge of the kitchen. So, if you want, I’ll give you a hand taking your bags to your cabin. ‘Cause you’re the last here, I’m off duty for the rest if the day.”

Michael just stands there, because that’s a lot of information to digest in like, forty five seconds, and he doesn’t really know what to say. But his mom comes to his aid and says “He’d love that, just give us a minute?” and Ashton says “sure!” and starts moving Michael’s suitcases from behind the car. 

“Alright, Mikey.” His mom says and her eyes are filling with tears, and Michael can’t look at her because if he does, he’ll cry too, and he’s 19 dammit, he should be able to go away from his mother and not cry. “Guess I’ll see you in eight weeks, huh?” she says, and when she pulls him into a hug he goes willingly. 

“Bye, mom.” He says and is about to walk away when she calls him back. “What?” he says. 

“iPod. Give it to me.” She says holding out her hand and Michael knew she’d find a way to spoil the moment. 

“Aw, mom, please! I’ll go crazy if I don’t have it! Please!”

“The rules say no, Mike. Not me.”

“Please, mom. I won’t get caught.”

“Fine, fine! Go on, before I change my mind!” He gives her a kiss on the cheek before grabbing his duffel and a suitcase and walking towards Ashton. 

“So, where’s the blue cabin?”

***

The word ‘cabin’ was kind of an insult to the mansion that Michael found himself unpacking in. Ashton showed him to the blue cabin and gave him a quick tour. He’d gotten a text message from someone Michael didn’t know saying they were all down at the pier and that he should come join them. Ashton had extended the invitation to Michael, but he said he was wore out from the car ride and wanted to get unpacked before he lost the motivation to do it. 

He was still in shock over the size of the place. He had his own bedroom, with an en-suite bathroom. The kids he was in charge of all had their bedrooms on the first floor. He and Calum occupied the two bedrooms downstairs. It was comfortable and airy and if he was here under any other circumstance he’d probably enjoy living here. He lugged his bags into the room at the other end of the cabin, the one Calum hadn’t claimed, and was a little bit put out when he realised that they were in the cabin closest to the woods, and he was in the room closest to the woods. He could see the perks getting here earlier had. 

When he was finished unpacking, he plugged in his Nintendo to charge and lay on his bed scrolling through twitter. The service is shit and everything is taking forever to load so he just locks his phone and tosses it on the bed beside him. His eyelids are drooping and he decides to close them for five minutes. 

***

Sometime later he wakes up to the sound of someone moving around the cabin. He knows he’s slept for a long time because his room is basked in an orange glow that was a bright yellow light when he went to sleep. His arms and legs are stiff and when he stretches, they make a satisfying pop and his body sinks back on to his mattress. He checks the time on his phone. 19:04. 

There’s a tentative knock on his door and then it’s cracking open and someone is sticking their head in and smiling. “Ah, so sleeping beauty wakens! I’m Calum, nice to meet ya.”

“Hey,” Michael says, and his voice is laden with sleep so it comes out like a croak but Calum doesn’t seem to mind because he’s walking towards the bed and smiling.

“The formal starts at seven thirty, but I’m gonna head over now, if you wanna come with me?”

“Yeah, sure.” Michael says. “Do I need to change or, like, what’s the protocol?”

“Nah, you’re fine. It’s pretty laid back. It’s just like dinner every other night, but there’re no kids here yet so we get to let go a bit. When they get here tomorrow all Hell breaks loose. Have you met anyone other than Ashton?” 

“Nope. I only talked to Spencer over the phone and my mom’s friends with Sarah, who works here.”

“Well the guys are great; you’ll get along just fine.” 

Michael stands up and tugs on his boots, then runs a hand through his already messy hair. Meeting people isn’t really his forte and he just knows he’s going to sit there awkwardly while the others talk and he’s not looking forward to it one bit but at least he can cling on to Calum or Ashton. He grabs his phone off the bed. “Ready?” Calum asks, and Michael nods his head yes then follows him out of the room. 

***

The dining hall is a ten minute trek over fallen leaves and branches and little hills and Michael is a little out of breath and a lot embarrassed because Calum doesn’t seem to be phased by it at all. Michael decides that from then on he needs to start doing exercise because he’s literally about to pass out. When they get into the hall, Calum is immediately pulled into conversation by a guy who screams skater boy stereotype and they’re talking excitedly and Michael knew he’d be forgotten but he didn’t think it would happen this quick. 

“Oh, this is Michael,” he hears Calum say and he comes out of his daze quick enough to register the “and this is Jake.”

“Hey, man.” Jake says, holding out his fist for a fist bump and Michael feels awkward but he does it anyway and Jake smiles at him so Michael thinks he’s doing good so far. The rest of the counsellors file in and it’s a blur of hellos and how are yous and are you looking forward to the next eight weeks? When people say this Michael feels a little sick because he suddenly remembers - eight weeks. 

Sarah finds him an hour into the party. He's standing alone picking at his burger and he's actually glad to see her coming. She comes up beside him and puts her arm around his shoulder. “Hey, kid. Jeez, when did you get so tall?”

“Hey Sarah.”

“You enjoying yourself?”

“Truthfully, no. I mean, the place is great and everybody seems nice, this just isn’t my scene.”

"It could be, if you give it a chance These people have known each other for years and are just excited to be back together, they haven't forgot about you."

"That doesn't make me feel any better."

"Well, I saw one of the counsellors in a Green Day shirt. And he's cute too," she says, nudging him. Michael rolls his eyes. “Well your mom told me to make sure you’re having a good time, so I’m gonna leave you and let you talk to the people you’re own age. Come find me if you need me.” She ruffles his hair and leaves, and Michael misses her because now he’s on his own again.

He walks over to the table to get a drink of coke and runs into Ashton. “Hey!” Ashton says, and he’s just as chirpy as he was earlier. “Cal introduce you around?”

“Yeah,” Michael says, taking a sip of his coke. “I think I’ve met everyone. Brendan thinks my name is Mickey but other than that it’s been good.”

“Haha, Mickey. It suits you. But if you need anything or get a little overwhelmed or anything you can come talk to me yeah? I know it doesn’t seem like that could happen now but wait until the kids get here. It gets easier, but the first couple of days are hard. And scary. But you can talk to me if you need to. Or Luke. He’s been coming here as long as I have.”

“Someone say my name?” somebody asks as they slide in beside Ashton and throw their arm around his shoulder. 

“Jesus, you’re not as small as you used to be, stop throwing yourself at me. I can’t hold you up anymore.”

“You love holding me, shut up.”

“Michael’s heart stops when he sees Luke. 

“So, Ash, introduce me to the fresh meat.”

“Luke, Michael.” Ashton says, nodding to each respectively. “Michael, Luke.”

Michael knew who Luke was the second he seen him, and when Luke hears his name and sees his face, his own face drains of colour and Michael knows he recognises him, too. But he’s quick to recompose himself, sticking his hand out and saying “Hey.”

Michael doesn’t want to shake his hand but he does it anyway and if he squeezes a little harder than usual, well, whatever. 

If Ashton notices the awkward tension between the two he doesn’t say anything about it, just asks if they’re ready for the hike tomorrow evening.


	2. Part 2

Michael is awakened by the sound of children screaming and thumping noises coming from above. At first he’s startled but then he remembers where he is, and it doesn’t make him feel any better. He groans, and pulls one of the pillows over his head to try and drown out the noise. He’s lying on top of the duvet and he’s still wearing yesterday’s clothes and he generally feels like shit. After meeting Luke at the formal, he stayed another five minutes before making up a story about a stomach cramp and heading back to the cabin. He took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up walking around for ages, but he didn’t mind so much because at least he was alone and the fresh air was kind of nice.

In the end, he made it back to the entrance of the camp and was able to get to the cabins from there. By the time he got back, Calum was already there, sitting on the sofa and flipping through the television channels. “Hey,” he said, turning the TV off and turning to face Michael. “You left pretty quick, where’d you go?”

“I was coming back here but I got lost.”

“Ah, shit, I should have walked you back. Ash said you were sick, are you feeling any better?”

“Not really, my head hurts a little and my stomach feels shit. I think I’m just gonna head to bed.” Calum looked worried and Michael felt bad for lying but he just couldn’t stay. His head did hurt, but from over thinking. He couldn’t believe his luck that of all the people that could have worked here, it would be Luke fucking Hemmings. But this was Michael’s life and when does anything go right ever? And now he’s stuck here for eight weeks with Luke and he doesn’t know if he wants to scream, cry or punch someone. 

Calum seemed to notice something was really off because he stood up and walked over to Michael, placing the back of his hand on his forehead. “You’re a little hot. Maybe you’re still tired from the car ride, got heat stroke or something. Take a drink of water and go to bed, and if you’re not better in the morning you should see someone.”

Michael turned and headed to the kitchen, filled a pint glass with water and then headed to bed. He put the glass on the bedside table and just threw himself onto his mattress. He was fast asleep in five minutes. 

And now he feels someone sitting on the bed beside him and rubbing his back, calling his name softly. He pulls the pillow off his head and rolls over to see Ashton looking down at him.

“You’re right Cal, he does look pretty shit.” And ok, ouch. “Does your head still hurt? How about your stomach? You fit enough to get out of bed?”

“Yeah,” Michael groans. “I feel loads better.”

“You look better than you did last night,” Calum pipes up from somewhere by the door. “You were really pale, but you’ve got some colour back. And you don’t look like you’re  
about to pass out anymore.”

There’s a crash from somewhere in the cabin followed by a shout and Calum mutters a “Fuckin’ Pete” before turning out of the room and shouting “What did you do in the five minutes I’ve left you alone you little creep?”

Ashton laughs. “Oh yeah, you’ve got Pete. Good luck.”

“Who’s Pete?”

“You’ll see. Right!” Ashton says, standing up from the bed. “I have to go meet my kids. You gotta meet yours. Don’t forget about the hike at six, I’ll see you there.”

He bounds out of the room and Michael just lies on his bed, not entirely ready to deal with the kids. He’s about to doze off when he hears something smashing, followed by Calum screaming “Pete!” so he decides he better get up and help him. 

*** 

There are seven kids to look after between him and Calum, four boys and three girls, and he’s pretty sure he’s in over his head. He’s not good with kids, and he knows they can smell fear. They’re noisy and they don’t stop running and Calum has been shouting at them for 10 minutes to sit down and listen to him. 

Eventually, when Calum screams “Hey! Sit down and shut up!” they quieten down and Michael is wondering if Calum is actually allowed to talk to the kids like that, but hey, it worked, so he’s not questioning it. 

“Ok, so,” Calum starts, “We’ve a new counsellor this year. This is Michael, say hi to Michael.” There’s a chorus of ‘Hi Michael!’ and Michael smiles awkwardly and waves.  
“So the hike is this afternoon. You guys know the drill. First colour to have everyone back wins the points. So stick together and help each other out ‘cause I wanna beat Ashton so bad this year. That curly haired bugger has been in the winning cabin every year since I’ve been here and he needs to see what losing is like.”  
There’s a cheer from the kids and Calum is beaming at them and Michael sits there in silence because he has no idea what is going on. 

When Calum dismisses the kids, Michael pulls him aside. “What’s all this about points? And the hike is a competition? Dude, I suck outside.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s just a friendly competition that goes on between the cabins every year. Colour with the most points at the end of the eight weeks wins. And I’m sure you’ll be fine. These kids are like, nine to fourteen, they’re not professional hikers. You’ll make it.”

“No I won’t,” Michael mumbles. Calum laughs and pats him on the back. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t let you die.”

***

He’s dying. There’s sweat pouring out of places he didn’t know he could sweat from, and bugs keep landing on him and getting stuck in the sweat. His thighs are trembling and  
his lungs are on fire and he’s pretty sure his eyes are bugging out. The kids are running around and playing and Michael curses them and their endless source of energy between pants. 

“You want a drink of water?” Ashton asks, coming up beside him and Michael takes it gratefully, chugging it down and feeling almost euphoric. 

“I’m dying, Ashton. I’m really dying.” Michael wheezes. 

“You’ll be ok, we’re nearly at the top. And I think your cabin is winning. Calum’s way on ahead. But I think that’s just cause Pete made a run for it and he had to chase him.”

“Yeah, that’s why they’re gonna hate me when I pass out and roll the whole way back down.”

“Aw, you’re funny.” Ashton giggles and Michael really doesn’t know what to make of that.

He looks up and through the sea of red, blue and yellow he can see Calum towering above all the kids, running after Pete and screaming at him to come back. He sees Luke with Brendan and Jake, and he realises that Ashton walked back to make sure he doesn’t actually die on them. 

He’s embarrassed and then he’s angry because they were probably talking about him and he knows Luke was probably laughing and so he straightens up, hands Ashton back his  
water and marches on ahead. 

“Oh hey Mickey,” Brendan says, “You ok?”. Luke scoffs and Jake says “Mickey? It’s Michael, you doof.” And Michael smiles at them and says that he’s fine, and he just needed a moment to build up his strength. He starts talking with the other counsellors and he can feel Luke’s eyes on the back of his head. 

“That fucking child,” Calum says, rejoining the group. “He’s an actual monster. How the hell did I get stuck with him again? I had him last year, it’s not fair.”

“At least you’re not stuck with Ashton.” Luke says and everyone laughs except Michael and Ashton. Ashton because he’s whining “Heeeeeeeeeey!” and Michael because it was Luke who made the joke. It’s petty, he knows, and when Calum catches his eye and sends him a questioning look, he just shrugs his shoulders and starts walking again. 

“Calum,” a small girl says tugging on the sleeve of Calum’s shirt. “Pete climbed one of the trees and he won’t come down.”

Calum groans and follows the girl off, flipping off Jake and Brendan because they’re laughing, and grabbing Michael’s wrist when he passes, dragging him along.

“You’re in charge of him too. I don’t care if it’s your first year.”

***

After twenty minutes they manage to coax Pete out of the tree and Michael is laughing the whole time. Pete knows he’s riling Calum up, that’s why he’s acting up and Michael wouldn’t be surprised if Pete had asked to be put in Calum’s cabin. 

And then they’re walking again and it seems to have gotten more competitive because the counsellors are no longer walking together and the kids are all grouped with their team mates and the pace has quickened considerably and no matter how much he wants to keep up, he’s falling behind. He keeps catching his feet on fallen branches and getting caught in thorns and he’s convinced he’s going to break something before he makes it down the mountain. 

“You ok?” Someone asks behind him and he’s about to answer before he realises it’s Luke. He looks down at his Converse to make sure they’re landing in safe places and he feels Luke look at them too. “You probably should have brought boots.”

“You don’t say.”

“Michael, I..”

“What, Luke? You what?” Michael interrupts.

“You know what? Nothing. I came over here to make sure you weren’t going to trip and break your neck but forget it. Watch that vine.”

“What vine?” Michael huffs out, but then his face is hovering and inch above the ground and he lets out a noise that he’s never heard himself make before. Luke pulls him up and then bends down to rip the vine from around his ankle. 

“That one,” he says before walking away. 

“Watch the vine!” Michael mimics when Luke is out of earshot. “Yeah, I’ll watch that vine. Watch your fucking ego, you...”

“Michael?” He looks up and Ashton is looking questioningly at him. “What was that about?”

“Nothing.”

“Do... Do you and Luke know each other?”

“No. Not anymore.” And he walks away because he doesn’t feel like elaborating. 

He hears Calum ask “What was that about?” and Ashton replying “No fucking idea”. He sees Luke ahead, holding a little girl’s hand and smiling at her as she walks across a fallen tree like a tight rope and Michael really, really hates him. 

***

He sees the flag at the bottom of the mountain and everyone else is running and he’s trying to keep up but he’s too afraid of falling and already Ashton and Brendan, along with some kids, have made it to the bottom. Calum isn’t too far behind, pulling Pete along with him and all the other blue kids aren’t too far behind. Luke is still helping that little girl, carrying her and running at the same time and Jake has is trying to make some of his kids run faster. Michael knows if he makes it down before them, blue will have won because he can see Calum and the kids standing at the flag, screaming at him to run. His blood is pumping hard and all he can hear is Luke laughing with the little girl and Jake shouting “Run! Go faster!” 

He’s trying so hard to get his legs to move faster but his fear of falling and smashing his face is stronger than his will to win. But then he sees Luke pull ahead and suddenly he’s filled with an enormous desire to win because he will not lose to Luke. No way. 

“Mikey!” He hears Calum scream, and he’s running and he’s so close, he’s almost there and then he’s falling and he looks up to see Luke put the girl down as they make the finish line. He rolls over and lies in the dead leaves and when Calum towers over him to help him up he’s laughing but Michael just feels like an idiot. 

Luke smirks at him when he walks over to where the other guys are taking head count and Michael can feel his heart speed up and his fists clench but he just breathes in and counts to ten. 

They’re about to head home when Calum groans “Oh god, where’s Pete? I was holding his hand a second ago. Pete!”


	3. Part 3

It’s been one week and Michael isn’t too sure that he can take much more of this. He’s been up at the crack of dawn every single morning because the second the sun rises, so does Pete and Calum refuses to look after him alone after the hiking incident. They couldn’t find him for half an hour after the hike, and Calum was on the verge of tears or combustion. Eventually they found him hiding under one of the canoes. Michael thought it was a little funny. Calum gave out to him for laughing and told him not to encourage that behaviour. Ever since then, Pete’s been stuck to Michael and although he’d never admit it, he kind of likes the attention. Pete is awesome, though, in spite of his determination to send Calum insane. He’s only nine, and already he has a take no shit attitude and he’s incredibly smart. He wore a Green Day shirt one day, and Michael knows it’s a little mean to have a favourite, but Pete is his. Pete, or the little girl who ran her fingers through his hair and told him it was pretty. 

But now it’s Saturday and three of the counsellors get a day off to go to the nearest town or stay in bed or whatever. The kids do something with the remaining three counsellors and Spencer. They paint or watch movies – something to give them a break from all the physical activities. 

When Michael hears that he has to work this Saturday, his heart breaks a little. He’s hoping Calum will be on with him, but then he realises that it’s one counsellor from every cabin and he’s just hoping he has Ashton. 

He ties his converse and messes his hair and then looks in on Calum who’s still tucked up in bed asleep. He curses and then walks into the sitting room to find Pete sitting quiet on the sofa, which is strange, but Michael isn’t going to question it. 

“Hey, little buddy,” he says. “Everyone else over in the rec hall?” 

“Yep,” Pete answers, swinging his little legs that don’t quite reach the floor. 

“How come you’re not over there?”

“Was waiting for you.” Michael’s heart swells a little and when Pete takes his hand on the walk down to the dining hall he feels a little better about the whole camp thing. 

***

It’s Luke. Of course it would be Luke. When Michael and Pete walk into the dining hall Luke is sitting with Jake and Michael is ready to turn and run out again, but then Pete is tugging the hem of his shirt and looking up at Michael with big brown eyes. 

“I don’t like this,” he says. “We always do something boring like watch crappy kid movies.”

“You are a kid, little dude.”

“I wanna watch Fight Club.”

“Ok, little inappropriate. Look, if you behave, I’ll let you watch the Green Day concerts I have downloaded on my laptop later. We’re only here for a few hours.”

“Ok,” he says and skips off to the group of kids picking through the DVDs. When Pete leaves, Michael is left standing there in the doorway on his own and he wants to leave because he was banking on Aston and Calum keeping him sane, but now they’re both gone and he’s left with Luke and he doesn’t know if he’s going to be able to make it through. He has Jake, but Jake and him haven’t really talked much, and right now he’s in a full blown conversation with Luke and Michael’s standing there about to throw up. He’s considering going back over to Pete, which is a little sad, when Jake spots him. 

“Oh, hey Michael! C’mere, we’re gonna ask Cal and Ash to pick up some alcohol for later. What’s your poison?” Michael starts walking over to them, and Luke is standing awkwardly, staring at his feet and fiddling with sleeves of the plaid shirt he has tied around his waist. 

“Whatever’s going. I’m not too picky.” He stands beside Jake, leaving enough space between him and Luke to let him know that Michael still doesn’t like him, but not enough space that Jake would notice anything. He can feel the tension between the two of them and it’s  
suffocating. He just wants to be at home. 

“So,” Jake starts, and there’s an awkward silence as the three of them stand there, watching the kids fighting over which DVD they want to watch. “I’m, eh. I’m gonna go help ‘em pick one before World War III starts.”

Jake walks away and Michael is left standing there trying to avoid looking at Luke but looking at him anyway, catching Luke looking back at him and hating himself for blushing. He feels fourteen years old again, and all the feelings come rushing back and he’s embarrassed and angry and upset all at the same time. His hands are clammy and balling into fists and the butterflies in his stomach are going crazy. He’s pretty sure his breath is whistling between his clenched teeth. Luke sidles closer to him, and Michael moves away. He looks up in time to catch the hurt flash in Luke’s eyes and good, he thinks. 

“Michael..” Luke begins.

“Oh, me? Am I good enough to be seen with now?”

“You still hate me?”

“What do you think?”

“I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean for it to happen that way. I was scared, Mikey. I didn’t...”

“Don’t call me Mikey.”

“Sorry, Michael. Just let me explain.”

“It’s been five years Luke. You had plenty of time.”

“I know, and I tried to talk to you so many times, but I got scared. You don’t know what it felt like, Mikey!”

Michael tries not to die a little with the use of his old nickname and Luke’s blue eyes staring at him, but it’s still raw. Part of him wants to hug Luke, but a bigger part of him wants to give him a punch in the jaw. 

“I do know how it felt.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re like, five years too late.” 

“If you just listened to me, instead of shutting me down.”

“You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” Michael almost screams, and he’s seeing red. He knows they’re both getting angry and he wouldn’t be surprised if one of them ends up with a black eye. 

“I was thirteen, Michael! Are you really gonna hold that against me?”

Michael’s about to answer when he spots Jake staring open mouthed at them. “They, uhm. They want Mulan.”

Luke walks away, and Jake’s eyes follow him, then he turns to Michael. “I didn’t know that you two knew each other.”

“We don’t.”

“But you were just...”

“I don’t know him.”

“Ok,” Jake says. “Calum said they’re just gonna get a couple of bottles of whiskey. You game?”

***

 

The movie ends and Luke and Jake start rounding up their kids. Without the colours, Michael isn’t too sure which ones are in his cabin, but he figures that whichever ones are left when Luke and Jake leave are his and so he stays sitting. 

Throughout the whole film, he and Luke kept glancing at each other, and Michael couldn’t read Luke’s expression. It could either have been “I’m going to murder you” or “I’m going to murder you slowly and painfully”. Michael gave back as venomous as he was receiving. Jake was sat in between them, and he looked a little scared. Michael was kind of hoping Pete would pull something so he could go and talk to him, but the promise of Green Day kept him quiet. It was the longest hour and a half of his life. 

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by Pete shoving his shoulder. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Michael says, standing up and stretching. “You gonna hang out with the other kids? I think Spencer is doing some kind of dodge ball tournament.”

“No. You promised me Green Day.”

“After your relaxing Saturday.”

“Get me out of it.”

“I don’t think I can, pal. If I gotta go, then so do you.”

***

He should have known he’d get dragged into it. Spencer had all the balls lined up in the middle of the dining hall. The tables and chairs were shoved to the side of the room and there was plenty of space for the game. 

Michael really didn’t want to play. He was nineteen. He wasn’t one for throwing balls at preteens. 

In theory, his plan was simple. Let one of the kids hit him early on, giving them a sense of accomplishment, and getting him out of the game. His first game went to plan. In the second, the execution was harder. In the first, he was playing against Jake. In the second it was Luke and he let the five years of anger build up and he may have threw the ball a little hard and it may have hit Luke a little hard on the nose and Luke may have bled a bit, but then there was a ball flying at Michael and he didn’t duck in time to avoid it smacking into his forehead. Luke was smirking. Even with blood dripping from his nostrils he was smirking. Michael could feel his blood boil.  
When Spencer told Luke to go clean up, Michael went and sat beside Jake.

“What the fuck was that about?” Jake asks.

“What?”

“Were you two trying to give each other a concussion?”

“It was nothing.”

“Jeez, I’d hate to see if there was something.”

When Luke came back, he sat right beside Michael, almost daring him to say something. When Luke caught him looking, Michael smiled sweetly at him. Jake looked terrified.

***

They’re all sitting in the sitting room of the blue cabin, and they know what they’re doing is a bad idea. They have to get up at nine a.m. with the kids, and if Spencer finds out he’ll definitely kill them, but Michael would be damned if he was going to go eight weeks without a drink. So when Calum pulled out the bottle of Jack Daniel’s Michael held out his glass and swallowed the whole thing in one go. 

The story of Luke’s bloody nose and the huge purple lump forming on Michael’s head got around and everyone laughed except for Ashton. When everyone had stopped laughing and had calmed down a bit, Michael sees Ashton pull Luke aside, Luke talking animatedly with his hands and Ashton nodding along. Luke was probably telling him everything. He was surprised he hadn’t done it already, what with the two of them being constantly glued to each other. 

He felt someone slide in beside him. “What’s the story with you two anyway? Calum asked. 

“There is no story.”

“Oh, but there is.” Calum went on. “You don’t hate someone you just met that much. What happened?” 

“Nothing I really wanna talk about.”

“Have you talked to Luke about it?” Michael looks at him incredulously. “Ok, ok, sorry.” Calum said. 

“It’s just.... I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting him to be here, yanno? We went to the same school, and after we graduated a couple of weeks ago, I thought I’d never see him again.”

“You two not get along in school?”

“You could say that,” Michael says, taking another sip of whiskey and relishing the burn. His eyes roam around the room, subconsciously looking for Luke, and when his eyes finally land on him, it’s hard to look away. His broad shoulders block Ashton from view and  
Michael blames the whiskey for thinking about what it would be like to hug him from behind and smother his face in between his shoulder blades. And he definitely doesn’t think about running his fingers through his golden hair that looks deliciously soft.  
He takes another drink of whiskey.

***

He wasn’t planning on getting drunk, but here he is, hanging out of Brendan and talking pure rubbish. 

“It’s just such a good movie, you know? And so sad. So, so sad, you know? And the song. What’s the song? Elton sings it. You know?”

“Can You Feel The Love Tonight?” Brendan half answers, half asks and there’s a smile tugging at his lips.

“That’s it! That’s the one!” Michael shouts, and Brendan has to shush him, reminding him of the seven kids that are asleep upstairs. 

“You’re going to be dying in the morning, man. And I think we’re swimming.”

“No, I don’t swim. I hate swimming ever since I got bit by that dolphin. I didn’t even know dolphins had teeth. Did you know that? That dolphins have teeth? And I think they have a tongue too.”

“I’m gonna gave to steal you from the biology lesson,” Jake says, coming up beside Michael and Brendan. “But it’s nearly four a.m and we gotta get some sleep. Jeez, Mike. You’re hammered.”

“No, ‘m not. I only had a little smidgen.”

“Well, don’t have a smidgen more or we won’t see you until next Saturday. And drink water before you go to sleep. C’mon, Brendan, we gotta go.”

Brendan and Jake shout out to let the others know they’re leaving. Ashton stands up from the sofa, stretching and saying he and Luke ought to get going too. Michael looks around the room, but Luke isn’t there. “He must’ve gone already. See you guys later. Good luck in the morning, Michael.”

“Uhuh.” Michael says, standing up. “’m gonna get water. See you in the mornin’.”

“Haha, I’m not so sure we’ll see him.” He hears Calum say as he walks into the kitchen.

He goes to the cupboard and pulls out a glass, and turns to fill it with water when he sees someone sitting at the small table. It takes him a minute to realise it’s Luke. 

“Ashton’s gone,” is the only thing he can think of to say. Luke’s eyes look red rimmed and bloodshot and Michael gets a little worried. “What’s wrong?” he says, walking towards him.

“Nothing, nothing,” Luke says, rubbing at his eyes and standing up. “If Ash is gone, I may go too before he locks me out of the cabin.”

“Were you in here all night?” Michael asks, and it’s definitely the alcohol giving Michael the urge to pull Luke into a hug, not the fact that even though he towers over Michael he looks small and vulnerable. 

“Nah, I just needed a moment to catch a breather.”

“What’s wrong?”

“How drunk’re you?” Luke laughs. 

“Very,” Michael answers. “But what’s the matter?” 

Luke shakes his head and looks at Michael. He just looks so sad and Michael wants to pull him against his chest and tell him everything is going to be ok. The he remembers he’s supposed to hate him and then he hates himself a little for feeling like this. 

“It’s nothing,” Luke says, swiping at his eyes again. Michael can’t help it. With his big blue eyes and broad shoulders Luke just draws Michael in like a magnet, and so Michael goes willingly. He wraps his arms around Luke’s middle and buries his face in Luke’s chest. It takes just a second but then Luke is hugging him back and it’s warm and safe and Michael would be happy to stay like this forever. 

“I’m so sorry, Mikey.” Luke says into his hair, and Michael tightens his arm around his waist and burrows deeper into his chest and forgets for a little minute what happened between them. “I really am. I didn’t mean to react like that. I was only a kid. I was scared and confused and all I could think of was the other kids at school. And I handled it bad, I know, and I should have just talked to you instead of running away, but you hated me. And I guess I hated you too for making me feel that way. But I’m not a kid anymore, and I’m still a little scared, but I’ll be ok. And I know you’re really drunk so you’re not going to remember this, but I really am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, Mikey. You were my best friend.” 

Michael hums into Luke’s chest and he can feel the tears prickling the back of his eyes. He doesn’t know what to say, he doesn’t want to ruin what Luke just said by saying something stupid. He’s still so drunk and the only thing going through his head is “lukeisreallypretty” and “hesmellssogood”. He’s trying really hard to commit Luke’s speech to memory but it’s already slipping and he’s mad at himself because he knows Luke meant every word of it. 

He looks up from Luke’s chest and the moment he does, he knows he’s gone because Luke is looking down at him and their lips are so close and Luke’s breath is ticking his nose. 

“’m sorry about your nose,” is all Michael can think of to say.

“Michael..” is all Luke says, and Michael can’t remember how to speak. Instead he presses his lips against Luke’s and there’s a moment of hesitation between them but then Luke catches up and starts to kiss him back. It’s wet and sloppy and tastes of Jack Daniel’s, but it’s the most beautiful kiss Michael has ever had in his whole life. 

“I’m sorry,” Luke keeps mumbling against Michael’s lips, and Michael uses this as an opportunity to slip his tongue into Luke’s mouth. They both moan, and Michael moves his hands from Luke’s hips up to his hair, forcing their mouths even closer together. 

“So sorry,” Luke says around Michael’s tongue and it feels weird but good at the same time and he’s moaning again. He feels his back hitting against something hard and it takes him a moment to realise that Luke has him pressed up against the counter. He spreads his legs and Luke fits perfectly between them. 

“Mikey,” Luke groans out, and Michael can feel himself getting hard. The voice in the back of his head is telling him that this is such a bad idea, but he shuts it out and instead focuses on the way Luke’s tongue is mapping his mouth. 

They pull apart for air, and then Luke’s mouth is on his neck, sucking hard and without mercy and Michael knows there’s going to be a mark. He turns his head to give Luke better access when something catches his eye. He pushes Luke off him and sees Calum standing in the doorway, staring at them, mouth opening and closing like he has something to say, but just can’t find the right words. 

“I have to go,” Luke says, moving away from Michael and suddenly Michael is cold and he just wants to be in Luke’s arms again. Luke pushes out the door past Calum and doesn’t even look back. 

“What the fuck?” Calum asks. Michael just shrugs. 

When he goes to walk out, he spots Luke’s flannel on the chair. He takes it up to his room and when he notices it smells of Luke’s cologne, he sleeps with it on the pillow next to him. No one has to know.


	4. Part 4

Michael wakes with a pounding headache and the taste of death in his mouth. There’s needles pricking at his eyes and something heavy lying across his legs and it takes him a moment to realise that it’s another person. His head hurts too much to look and see who it is, but the mystery is soon solved when he hears the intro to American Idiot and Pete whispering “Oh my God!”. He smiles and buries his face further into the pillow, and the material he’s pressing his face into is unfamiliar and smells of cologne and suddenly he remembers what happened last night. He remembers the whiskey and then Luke and hugging Luke and kissing Luke. He groans into the pillow and that doesn’t help because then he’s smelling Luke again and he’s going to throw up.

“You awake?”He hears Pete ask and he wants to say no because he all he wants to do is bury himself in his duvet and wait for this hangover to pass, and hopefully never see Luke again because he doesn’t think he can face him after what happened.

“Yeah, little dude. What time is it?” he manages to croak out.

“Half seven.” Pete says, and as much as Michael likes him, he’s about to smother him.

“Why are you in here?”

“You said I could watch Green Day concerts on your laptop.”

“Yeah, but you watched it yesterday. And you can’t just use my laptop whenever you want.”

“’m only watching videos. There’s not even internet.” Michael is about to argue back, but he’s too hungover and as because Pete’s watching videos, it means he’s not causing mayhem somewhere else, meaning him and Calum can probably sleep a little longer. He rolls over and is just about to fall back asleep when his door busts open. Michael nearly cries.

“Michael!” he hears Calum shout, “Pete’s gone. I woke at seven and it was quiet for too long so I checked his room and he’s not there, where the fuck is he?”

Michael mumbles into the shirt covered pillow and Pete pipes up “Hi Calum.”

There’s silence for a few seconds and Michael knows the expression of disbelief that’s on Calum’s face without even looking. “What is he doing in here? And is that a laptop? We’re not allowed laptops. Michael, is that yours?”

Michael groans into the pillow again so Pete explains. “Michael lets me watch concerts on his laptop if I be good. Look, Green Day!”

“Oh,” is all Calum says. Michael knows he wants to give out about the laptop, but it’s keeping Pete quiet and is too good a bribe to pass up. Michael smirks.

“Alright, well we gotta be down at the dock by nine for swimming, so Pete go on and get dressed.” Michael hears a groan of protest followed by his laptop being shut and placed on the ground. Only when Pete leaves does Michael realise how cramped his legs were, and he stretches them out with an appreciative moan.

“You feeling ok?” Calum asks, and Michael can hear the laughter in his voice, the bastard.

“No, I feel like someone’s filled my head with razorblades. And if I move, I’ll puke.”

“Well, you did drink like, half a bottle by yourself. Did you even mix it with anything?” All Michael can do is groan in response.

“Do you uh, do you remember anything from last night?” Calum asks, and Michael knows exactly what he means, but he doesn’t really wanna talk about it. Doesn’t even want to think about it. Instead he tries to sit up and regrets it immediately. His head is pounding and the contents of his stomach are swimming and if he doesn’t make it to a bathroom in 10 seconds, he’s gonna puke all over the floor. Calum seems to understand, because he just moves out of the doorway and lets Michael bolt past without questioning him.

When Michael comes back 10 minutes later, he sees Calum eyeing the shirt on his bed.

“Swimming starts at nine,” is all Calum says before walking out the door. 

***

Michael is convinced he is in Hell, and he knows he looks like shit, and this is probably the worst morning he’s had since he’s been here. He’s lying on the grass, listening to the kids swimming in the lake and the wind rustling the leaves. He’s on his stomach with his face buried  in his crossed arms and so doesn’t see when Luke comes and sits beside him.

“Hi,” Luke says and Michael just groans because that’s really all he’s capable of right now.

“Feeling that good, huh?”

“Wonderful.” He decides he’s too hungover to feel even remotely embarrassed about the kiss, and Luke walked over to him so as far as Michael is concerned it’s his job to keep the conversation going. Michael is too busy trying not to die.

“Uhm....” is what Luke decides to keep the conversation alive with, and Michael kind of wants him to leave so he can go back to feeling miserable for himself.

“Did you want something?” Michael asks, and a small part of him is hoping Luke isn’t asking for his shirt back because it really does smell nice but Michael will never tell anyone that. Ever.

“No, I just came over to talk to you. Make sure you’re ok.”

“Why?”

“Cause you were pretty drunk last night, and you know...”

Michael decides that this is when he should lift his head out of the grass and look at Luke because that would be the polite thing to do, but he also realises that this is how can escape this whole ‘kiss’ thing and he knows it’s an asshole-y thing to do but it’s an easy way out so he’s going with it. “Yeah, I was pretty gone. I don’t remember anything that happened. I don’t even know how I got to bed. Calum must have taken me.” He regrets it the moment it falls from his lips, and he knows Luke probably looks like a kicked puppy, and if he sees that face he’s going to say of course he remembers the best kiss he’s ever had and can they do it again? But he’s a douche, he knows, so he just rolls on to his back,  away from Luke, adjusts his sunglasses and says “And you? How are you feeling?”

“Great,” Luke says, and there’s something in his voice that Michael doesn’t like because he knows he put it there. “I only had a little, so I wasn’t drunk. No hangover.” Michael thinks he’s finished, and he’s relieved Luke has decided to ‘forget’ it too, but then Luke says “I remember everything.”

Even through the sunglasses, Michael can feel Luke’s eyes boring into his and he knows that Luke knows he’s lying. They sit in silence for a minute before Luke stands up muttering “You’re such an asshole”.

Michael feels bad, he does, but he also has a severe headache and so he closes his eyes to nap for a little while before dinner when there’s a shadow over his face and he’s met with Ashton standing over him. He’s not smiling, so Michael is a little scared.

“You look terrible,” Ashton says, and Michael feels really intimidated because Ashton hasn’t sat down yet and he’s looming over Michael like he’s going to kill him.

“I feel like death. How are all of you so chipper?”

“We didn’t drink ourselves into oblivion.” He finally sits, and Michael instantly feels better. But then he sees the look in Ashton’s eyes and he’s right back at terrified.

“What happened between you and Luke?” Ashton asks and suddenly Michael goes cold, even though the sun is beating down on him and he’s sweating through his t-shirt.

“What do you mean? We never..”

“Don’t give me that. Since you came here he’s been acting all weird and moping. He usually tells me everything and now he won’t open his mouth. What is it?”

“It happened a long time ago, I’m surprised he even remembered me,” Michael says, hoping that’s enough to satisfy Ashton because he really doesn’t want to get into this.

“What happened?” And ok, Michael thinks, little bit nosy.

“Look, it was nothing. Luke can tell you, if he wants you to know. Which I don’t think he does. But right now, I’ve got a killer headache and I just wanna sleep it off, so I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Actually,” Ashton says, standing up, and he sounds severely pissed. “The races start in ten minutes, so you’ll be seeing everyone then.”

“Fucking hell,” Michael mumbles.

***

Michael hates swimming. He can’t swim, and nobody thinks this is a good enough reason for him not to jump into a lake. He kind of hopes he drowns so they all feel bad for making him do this.

“It’s a relay,” Pete explains to him. “One person from each cabin starts, and they swim out to the big wooden floaty thing, and then when they get back, the next person goes and then the first team with everyone back wins.”

“It’s really far away.” Michael says, and his stomach is tightening, and not from the alcohol left over in his gut from last night.

“Are you ok?” Pete asks, “You look like you’re gonna get sick.”

“I can’t swim. And that’s a lot of water.”

They’re all scattered around the edge of the lake, and Calum and Ashton keep sending Michael really weird looks and he just knows they’re talking about him and Luke and that Calum has told Ashton about the kiss he interrupted.

“You ok?” he hears from behind him and is a little bit shocked when he turns around and meets Luke’s big blue eyes.

“Again, wonderful,” Michael replies, and he can almost feel Pete looking from him to Luke and back again before walking off.

“He seems to really like you. In the two years, he’s been coming here, he’s never listened to anyone.”

“He’s a good kid,” Michael says, and he means it, because although Pete does act up all the time, Michael thinks it’s all in good nature and not because he’s actually ‘bold’.

“How’re you feeling about the swimming? I know you don’t like it. I remember what you were like when we were kids and went to the beach that time with my dad. You freaked the fuck out when you got into the water.”

“Dude, I got stung by a jellyfish! And you’re dad had to pee on me,” Michael says, and then Luke starts laughing hysterically.

“Oh my God, I forgot about that!” Luke wheezes out, and there are tears pooling in his eyes and Michael tries not to think of how pretty he is.

“Stop laughing!” Michael says, but he can’t help the laugh that comes bursting from him. “That was the most embarrassing and painful thing that’s ever happened to me!”

“Even more painful than the time the dolphin bit you?” Luke mocks, and he’s trying so hard not to laugh his eyes are crinkling and his face is going pink.

“Shut up, Lucas! That dolphin totally bit me!” Michael says, and now the two of them are laughing and god, Michael hates him.

“Seriously though,” Luke says, “I can talk them into not making you swim.” And suddenly Michael is angry again because he does not need Luke fucking Hemmings looking out for him. He’s nineteen, and if Luke thinks he can waltz in with his nice shoulders and pretty little face and really fluffy hair and rescue him like some damsel in distress, well he’s mistaken.

“No. I can do it.” Michael says.

“Mikey..”

“Shut up, Luke,” he says before walking off.

***

Michael curses himself and his stubbornness as the line in front of him is getting shorter and his turn to jump in is getting nearer. It was his stubbornness that got him into fist fights in school, and more detentions than he can even count. Even though half of them weren’t his fault, but whatever. There are two people in front of him now, and everyone is screaming encouragement at the people on their team and laughing. He can almost feel Luke looking over at him now and again but he’s not going to give him the satisfaction of looking back.

Calum comes up beside him, hair sopping wet a towel slung around his shoulders. “Dude,” he says, “are you okay?”

“Just peachy,” Michael spits and Calum visibly recoils.

“If you really don’t wanna do it, I’ll go again in your place. You’re shaking, man.” And Michael is about to kiss him and thank him and tell him he’s the best when he catches Luke looking at them, and naturally Michael is in line to swim against Luke because why wouldn’t he be? He can’t back out of it now after their little confrontation, and he doesn’t want Luke to have anything over him so he just thanks Calum and says he’ll be ok. Which he won’t be.

“You sure? Please don’t die, we don’t want any enquiries.”

“Thank you for your concern.”

“Dude,” Calum says, rubbing his hair with the towel, “You’re up next.” Michael gulps and tries to regulate his breathing. He walks over to the edge and stands looking down. The drop is a little higher than he expected, but he thinks he can manage it. He sees that Pete is nearly back. Not first, but still in front of the kid from Luke’s cabin, and as long as Michael can get back not too long after Luke, it won’t be as embarrassing. There’s no point in even trying to beat him.

Pete’s climbing up the bank and Michael tries to jump and  he stalls, but then the kids are screaming at him so he just goes for it. He regrets it the second his feet leave the grass.

***

His lungs are burning and there’s thunder in his ears and he can see the surface of the water but he’s kicking and getting nowhere near it. He’s panicking and trying to scream, but the water just goes into his mouth. He’s dying, he’s sure, and then it goes black.

He’s stopped trying to fight it when he feels something wrap around his middle and he’s thrashing about, trying to fight whatever it is off because for a moment it feels like it’s pulling him down, but the next minute he can feel himself lying on soft grass. He still can’t breathe or see and he’s so scared, he’d be crying if he could.

But then there’s a pressure on his chest and he can feel something moving, and then he’s coughing and he can feel the relief as the water leaves through his mouth and nose. He takes in a breath and lies there for a moment. He can feel the water running out of his ears, and he can hear panicked shouting and the pressure on his chest is still there. He realises his eyes are closed, and that’s why he can’t see, and when he opens them he sees Spencer kneeling over him and pumping his chest.

“Oh, thank God,” Spencer huffs out when he sees Michael’s eyes open, glassy and uncomprehending, but open and alive. “Just wait there for a second, Michael; just don’t move for a minute. Are you ok?” Michael tries to answer, but instead rolls over and vomits onto the grass. “Shit,” Spencer says, pushing Michael’s fringe out of his eyes. “Luke, run and get a couple of towels. Michael, can you sit up?”

Michael manages to sit up with the help of Spencer and notices how quiet it is. “Where’s everyone?” he mumbles, and his throat is on fire.

“They’ve gone with the rest of the counsellors. You gave us all a fright.”

“What happened?” Michael asks and winces at the pain in his throat.

“Shhh, don’t talk for a minute, just get your strength back. Luke waited to see if you were ok after you jumped in before he jumped in himself, and when you didn’t come back up he panicked and told Ashton to get me before jumping in and pulling you out. You’re lucky he waited, he saved your life.”

Michael’s chest feels hollow and he isn’t sure if it’s from nearly drowning.

The next minute there’s something warm and fluffy being thrown around his shoulders, and he looks to see Luke with an armful of towels and a worried expression on his face. “Oh Jesus Christ, you’re awake.”

“Yeah,” is all Michael can say.

“Right,” Spencer says, standing up and extending his hand to Michael, helping him stand. A moment later Luke’s arms are around him, helping him stay upright and Michael melts into his touch. “I gotta get over to these other kids. Tell them you’re ok. I’ll fill in for you, take the rest of the day off and relax. Luke, stay with him and make sure he doesn’t die, please. Keep him warm, get Sarah to make him soup or hot chocolate or something. Luke, how about you? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“No,” Luke says, and Michael can feel his breath on his ear and it heats up his entire body. “I’m ok.”

“Good,” Spencer says. “Take him to his cabin. I’ll check on you later.”

Spencer walks off and Michael feels Luke pull him closer against him. He wants to pull away, embarrassment and pride fighting inside him, but he doesn’t have the strength. “You okay to walk?” Luke says softly, and Michael can’t help it, he starts to cry.

“Sshhh,” Luke says, turning Michael’s body so they’re facing each other and Michael’s face is buried in his bare chest. It’s wet, and Michael isn’t sure if it’s from the lake or his tears. “It’s okay,” he coos as Michael continues to sob into him. “You’re fine, it’s just the shock. You’ll be okay, I got you.” he says as he rubs Michael’s wet hair.  Michael feels pathetic and small but also safe in Luke’s arms and he hates himself for feeling like this, but he never wants to leave Luke’s embrace. “M just gonna pick up my bag, my dry clothes are in it. Did you take one?” Luke murmurs, and Michael just shakes his head against Luke’s chest. “Ok, just wait here a sec,” Luke says as he pulls away from Michael. Michael uses the towel to dry his cheeks and when Luke comes back a moment later he can’t help but smile at him.

“C’mon,” Luke says, wrapping an arm around Michael’s waist and pulling him tight against him. “We’ll get you warm and dry.”

“Thanks, Luke,” Michael says as they start walking.

“No problem.”

***

“Ok,” Luke says when they get into the cabin. “You should have a warm shower and then put on dry clothes. You ok to shower?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. But what about you?”

“I’ll be ok. I have dry sweats in my bag.”

“Keep your trunks on and we can share a shower.”

“But Michael, we haven’t even gone on a date yet!” Luke gasps dramatically, and Michael finds the strength to hit him in the chest. Even if it’s a feeble attempt, he means it.

“Shut up, Hemmings.”

They walk into the bathroom and Michael slips on the wet tiles, and Luke saves his life for the second time that day. “It seems like someone wants you to die today,” Luke says when he gets Michael back on his feet. “Well,” he says triumphantly. “They’ll have to go through me!”

“My hero,” Michael mumbles sarcastically as he fiddles with the dial on the shower. He lets the water run for a few seconds to heat up, and then he’s stepping under it and it feels so good he moans.

“You all right?” Luke asks, and Michael can hear his smirk.

“Shut up, Luke.”

There’s a warm presence behind him and then Luke is whispering “Stop telling me to shut up,” in his ear and Michael shivers, but it’s not from the cold.

“What shampoo is yours?” Luke asks, and when Michael answers Luke picks it up and squeezes some onto him palm.

“What are you doing?” Michael asks.

“Helping,” Luke answers nonchalantly. He starts rubbing the shampoo into Michael’s hair and Michael tries to protest, he really does, but it just feels so good. He nearly died today, so he thinks he deserves it. Luke’s fingers are long and strong, but gentle at the same time and it’s the most wonderful thing . Michael is trying not to moan out loud because he definitely has a thing for people playing with his hair, but Luke doesn’t need to know that.

“Rinse,” Luke says, and Michael spins so his back is against the hot spray of water and he’s facing Luke. The shower is small and their chests are almost flush together. Michael looks up, and Luke’s eyes meet his, and they just stand there looking at each other. He’s completely sober, and he wants nothing more than to press his lips against Luke’s again, but then Luke is shaking his head, breaking the eye contact and ending their moment. “Rinse,” he says again before stepping out of the shower. Michael throws his head back and lets the hot water wash the suds out of his hair.

He shuts the shower off before stepping out and then Luke walks in, fully dressed in gray sweats and a Nirvana t-shirt, and arms full of towels.

“Wrap that round your waist and drop your trunks.” He says, handing Michael a towel. When Michael’s finished, Luke throws another towel around his shoulders and starts rubbing his arms, drying him off. “C’mon, let’s get you into warm clothes.”

Michael can do nothing but follow as Luke heads into his room. He pulls sweats, boxers and a hoodie from Michael’s drawers, and throws them on the bed.

“Dude,” Michael says, pulling his boxers from Luke. “Those are my intimates.”

“Really?” Luke asks. “They’re not that sexy.”

“Get out,” Michael says.

“You sure you don’t need help?”

“Get out.”

When Luke leaves, Michael just sits on the edge of his bed, pulling the towel tighter around his shoulders. He doesn’t know what Luke’s end game is, and he isn’t sure what he’s doing himself either. He knows if they keep going the way they’re going, one of them is going to end up hurt, and if it goes the way it did five years ago, Michael isn’t too sure he’ll be able to take it. He hates himself for thinking about Luke like this again, and he hates Luke for making him feel like this, but goddamn, he aged very well and Michael can’t help but notice it. There was a time when Michael was taller, but now Luke towers over him and Michael kind of likes it because his face just fits perfectly into his neck, and no, he’s not thinking like this again. But Luke is being abnormally nice. Michael isn’t sure if that’s because he feels guilty about what happened, but he’ll take what he can get. He’s trying to hate him, he really is, but then he sees those big blue eyes and his fourteen year old self is screaming at him, telling him to get a grip and that it’s Luke fucking Hemmings for christsakes, and his nineteen year old self is telling his fourteen year old self to shut the fuck up while encouraging Michael to go for it because if Luke’s mouth is that good at kissing, what else is it good at? Michael wants to scream.

Luke sticks his head back in the door just as Michael is pulling his hoodie down and Michael tells him it’s ok to come in before flopping down on his bed.

“So, I have my iPod, we can listen to music if you want?”

“I’ve got my laptop,” Michael says, and Luke laughs.

“Should have known.”

“Shut up. But we can watch a movie or something, if you want.”

“Yeah, sounds good. You got any horror movies downloaded?”

“Duh,” Michael says, sliding onto his stomach and pulling his laptop out from underneath the bed. “How about a nice bloody slasher?”

“Perfect,” Luke says, flopping onto the bed beside Michael.

They’re lying back against the pillows and Michael’s head is on Luke’s shoulder, the laptop balanced on Michael’s left leg and Luke’s right. Another screaming girl is getting torn to pieces on screen, and Luke doesn’t even need to concentrate to get the plot of the movie. He reaches behind him to straighten up his pillows, trying to get comfortable, but his hand closes around something and he pulls it out and sees it’s a shirt. He’s about to toss it over to Michael’s suitcase when he notices it’s the one he left there last night. He looks down at Michael, whose eyes haven’t left the laptop screen. He smiles, and tucks the shirt back under the pillow.

“You ok?” Michael asks, voice heavy and eyes heavier.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just getting comfy.”

Michael yawns, and Luke throws his arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer. “You can sleep, if you want.”

Michael just hums against his chest. “Thanks again, Luke. For everything.”

“Sshh,” Luke says, running his fingers through Michael’s hair and pushing his fringe away from his eyes. “Just get some sleep, yeah?”/p>


	5. Part 5

When Michael wakes, his head is heavy and his throat is on fire. He rolls over, and is surprised to find the bed empty, but still warm. He knows he’s been asleep for a long time – it was bright when he and Luke put on the movie, now the sky is an inky purple – and he knows his sleeping schedule is so fucked for the next couple of days. He burrows back into the pillows, a little too happy that they smell like Luke, but his throat flares up again and it feels like he’s swallowing lava so he decides he better get a drink of water and some aspirin.

He walks in the direction of the kitchen, socked feet dragging heavy on the wooden floor when he hears talking coming from the sitting room. He can hear Calum’s voice booming above the lower mutters of the others, and he’s not sure why but he knocks before he enters.

“Hey,” Ashton greets. “Lazarus wakes! How are you?”

“Good,” Michael croaks out, and it’s scratchy and sore when he talks, and he’s mad at himself when his eyes automatically start scanning the room for soft blond hair and broad shoulders. When he spots Luke, they smile at each other and Michael’s stomach does something funny.

“Dude,” Jake says, and Michael didn’t even know he was there. “You scared the shit out of us. Pete wouldn’t stop crying, it took Spencer ages to convince him you were ok. We all thought you were dead.”

“You and Luke both,” Calum says. “We tried to wake the two of you like two hours ago and you wouldn’t budge. I had to peel Luke off of you and drag him out of the bed before he woke up. But seriously, are you ok?”

“I’m fine, my throat just hurts a little. I was just gonna get a drink and then go back to bed.”

“I’ll come with you!” Luke says, standing up a little too fast, and when the room goes awkwardly quiet, Luke mumbles, “To get a drink I mean. Not to bed.” His face is going bright red and Michael can’t help but notice his eyes are still puffy from sleep and his hair is still tousled which means he hasn’t been out of bed that long.

Michael can feel everyone’s eyes on him as he and Luke walk to the kitchen and he’s not sure why it makes him feel so guilty.  Luke sits on one of the tall stools by the counter while Michael fills a glass with water.

“How are you feeling?” Luke asks, and his eyes are so blue Michael can’t help but be hypnotised by them.

“I’m fine, honestly. My throat’s a little sore but you know, I’ll take that over death.” He hears Luke chuckle, but when their eyes meet there’s no humour in Luke’s and Michael is a little taken aback by the seriousness he finds there.

“Why did you jump in?” Luke asks and his tone is sombre.

“I wanted to,” Michael answers, and it comes out a little sharper than he intended it to. He sees Luke flinch, and he doesn’t even feel bad.

“You didn’t though. I know you, Mikey. And I heard Calum say he’d do the lap for you.”

“You don’t know me. And don’t call me Mikey.”

“But why? You can’t swim, you could have killed yourself.”

“Well, I’m lucky Prince Charming was there to save the day.” Michael spits. He’s not sure why he’s getting so mad, but he’s getting tired of these mood swings.

“Oh, you’re welcome for not letting you drown.”

“I didn’t ask you to jump in after me!” Michael snaps and he knows they’re going to end up shouting again. His throat is pounding and his head is starting to hurt and he has a strong urge to vomit, but god dammit, if Luke isn’t going to back down then neither is he.

“Do you even hear yourself?” Luke says back with just as much venom and Michael kind of wants to hit him, kind if wants to kiss him. “You know what, next time you do something stupid, I’ll leave you alone.”

“Yeah, you’re good at that.” He knows he’s gone too far when he sees Luke’s eyes widen and his mouth drop. He feels a little victorious, but then he really looks at Luke and he just feels like an asshole. Luke really was trying to be nice to him, forgive and forget, and he just can’t let go of what happened between them. “Luke...” he starts. “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.” Michael puts his glass on the counter and takes a step towards Luke and his heart breaks a little when Luke takes a step backwards. “I’m going back to my cabin. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Luke...”

But Luke is backing out the door before Michael can even think of something to say to make him stay. Michael doesn’t go back into the sitting room, just heads straight to bed.

***

Michael can hear everyone running around upstairs, screaming and shouting and getting ready to do whatever it is they’re doing today. Michael should be up and dressed by now, but instead he’s buried under his duvet with the blind still shut and he doesn’t have the energy to stick his head out from under the pillow when he hears a tentative knock and someone enter the room.

“You still not feeling ok?” Calum asks, and Michael feels the bed dip as he sits down.

“No,” Michael groans. “I’m dying.” Which is partly true. The thought of seeing Luke after what he said to him makes his stomach burn and his chest tighten, so he’s going to milk the drowning thing for all it’s worth and try and get a day in bed out of it. He’s aware he’s being a coward, and prolonging it will only make it worse, but he doesn’t care.

“Spencer says he’ll fill in for you today if you’re not feeling up to it.” Calum says, sliding his hand under the pillow and resting his palm on Michael’s forehead. “You’re pretty clammy, are you sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah, it’s just my throat, really. And my head hurts a little, but nothing aspirin can’t fix. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

“Ok, I’ll tell Spencer you won’t be out today. I’ll come back at lunch to check on you. You should at least try and make it to dinner.”

“I will,” Michael says, taking the pillow off his face and sending Calum what he hopes is a reassuring smile. “I’m kinda hungry, just don’t think I could eat something right now.”

“Alright, well I’m gonna head out now. You know where the cereal and stuff is.”

“See you later.”

Michael can hear Calum shouting at the kids to head outside, and then the front door closes and the cabin is eerily quiet.

***

He’s so bored. He’s watched all the movies he has downloaded on his laptop and there’s no internet to download any more. Nothing on his iPod seems to be _just right._ None of his Nintendo games seem interesting enough. His fingers are itching to play guitar, but he hasn’t got one with him. He knows there’s one in Luke and Ashton’s cabin, but he doesn’t want to play it that bad.

In the end, he showers and puts on clean clothes, bundling up all his dirty ones into a duffel bag and carrying it over to the washroom that’s behind the kitchen. He’s waiting on the machine to finish when he hears someone come in.

“Oh, hey Michael.” It’s Sarah, and Michael can’t help but feel a little relieved. “Spencer told me what happened. I was just gonna whip up some soup and take it over to your cabin. How are you?”

“I’m good, feeling a lot better.”

“That’s good. You really gave Spencer a scare. You’re lucky Luke was there. He’s a good kid. He’s been coming here for years, and then when he got too old, he volunteered to be a counsellor. Said he wouldn’t take pay or anything. Of course, Spencer said he’d pay him, but he really is a sweet boy.”

“The sweetest,” Michael says, and Sarah looks at him funny when she hears the weird undertone to his voice, even though he tried to hide it. He just really doesn’t want to talk about Luke.

“What’s wrong?” Sarah asks sitting down beside him, and Michael doesn’t like the way she’s looking at him.

“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing. What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“Nothing. Really. It’s just me being weird.”

“Are you not happy here? Have you talked to the other guys? They’d help you out. The first little while is always hard, but I know Luke would..”

“Oh my God, why is everyone so far up Luke’s ass?” Michael asks, and instantly feels embarrassed when the words leave his mouth.

“Is this because of what happened at the lake? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Michael.”

“Why do people keep bringing that up? It’s not even that, I’m not embarrassed about it. It’s.... something else.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Ok, well, soak in your misery...” Sarah says, standing up from the bench and Michael automatically grabs her hand and pulls her back.

“Wait, it’s just, ugh.” He says, burying his face in his hands. Sarah sits back down and rubs circles on his back, and Michael really does want to tell her everything, but at the same time wants to keep it between him and Luke. His mom doesn’t even know what happened between them. When she asked why Luke never came over anymore he just shrugged and walked away.

“I just, I never thought I’d see him again, you know? After we graduated? And it still hurts, I guess. I mean I know it was sort of my fault. Neither of us handled it well, but he never even tried. He just left me.” Sarah pulls him against her side and he goes willingly. She doesn’t say anything, so he keeps going.

“It was hard when we stopped talking and at that time I hadn’t even told mom or dad I was gay. Only Luke knew. I was so scared that he’d hate me when I told him, but he didn’t. He just said that it was cool and that nothing would change between us. He was even helping me figure out what to say to my parents, like, how to tell them. And then we were in my room playing FIFA one day and it felt different. Like, we kept looking at each other and looking away, and we were sitting closer on the sofa and our elbows kept bumping and it was just... it felt weird. A good weird. And I don’t know, one minute we were talking and the next we were kissing and then the next day at school he acted like I didn’t exist. He just stopped talking to me, wouldn’t even look at me when he was with his friends.”

“Oh,” is all Sarah says.

“Yeah,” Michael mumbles, fiddling with the hole in the knee of his jeans. “And to make it worse, we made out a couple of nights ago, and we slept in the same bed. And showered together.”  Once he starts talking, he can’t stop, and it does feel a little good to tell someone. When he lifts his head from her shoulder, she’s smiling.

“Hey,” he says, faking a pout, “’S not funny.”

“No, it’s not. But you are. Your mom told me about Luke. I just never thought it was _this_ Luke.”

“Oh God, why were you guys talking about me?”

“It was nothing bad, I promise,” she says as she winks at him. “You know, maybe you should go talk to him. If he’s kissing you and saving your life he can’t hate you that much. At least get some closure. You were kids, maybe he was just as scared and embarrassed as you were.”

“I guess. It still feels weird, though. Like every time we’re talking and he gets too nice I have to say something to push him away again.”

The machine beeps letting Michael know that the wash is finished, and he goes to stand up but Sarah puts her hand on his knee. “Talk to him, Michael.”

***

Michael decides to go to dinner. He figures he can’t make things between him and Luke and so there’s no point hiding in his room for much longer. He hears Calum come back with the kids to wash up before dinner, so he walks out into the sitting room to wait for them to finish so he can walk down to the dining hall with Calum.

Almost instantly, something runs into him and nearly knocks him backwards, and when he looks down he sees Pete wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Michael!” Pete shouts, and Michael can’t help but smile. “You’re ok! Calum wouldn’t let me see you earlier cause he said you weren’t feeling so good. I thought you were dead. But you’re not!”

“No, little dude. I’m fine.”

“I missed you. Calum doesn’t let me do anything fun.”

“I’m sure he has his reasons. You better go and get washed up, it’s nearly food time.” Pete bounds off upstairs, and Michael goes to sit on the sofa, Calum joining him a moment later.

“You’re alive!”

“I’m starving!” Michael answers and he’s a little worried in case Luke told the other four why he went back to his own cabin early last night, but Calum doesn’t look or sound angry with him, so he seems to be safe.

“Well, tonight’s pizza night. Sarah makes them from scratch, and man they’re to die for.”

“I look forward to them.”

“So,” Calum says, and the silence is a little uncomfortable, and Michael wishes Ashton was with them because he always seems to have something to say. But then there’s an extremely loud bang from upstairs, followed by a few screams, and Calum is muttering under his breath before standing up and heading towards the stairs. He turns back to Michael. “This is the last time your near death gets you out of dealing with these monsters.”

“What did you creeps do?” he shouts up the stairs and Michael wonders how he gets away with talking to the kids like that.

 

***

He walks into the dining hall and is a little relieved to see that Luke and Ashton haven’t made it down yet. Pete let’s go of his hand and goes to join his little group of friends and Michael takes a seat across from Jake and Brendan.

“Hey,” Brendan says, taking a drink of his coke. “We were just discussing who’s a better drummer. Travis Barker or Rian Dawson.”

They get into a heated discussion, Calum joining them after grabbing a drink for himself and Michael, and he’s honestly having a good time. Probably the best time he's had since he arrived. He feels someone sit down on his left side, and when he turns his head he’s met with bouncy curls and smiling eyes and Ashton’s happiness is infectious or something because Michael’s smiling right back at him.

“What’s going on guys?” Ashton asks, throwing an arm behind Michael to flick Calum’s ear. “Douche” Michael hears Calum mutter, and he laughs.

“Nothing,” Brendan says. “Just discussing Jake’s terrible taste in music.”

“Not this again,” Michael hears Luke say, and his blood goes cold and he wants to bolt from the table and hide. He sneaks a look at him and wishes he didn’t, because his hair isn’t styled and is just lying across his forehead and all Michael wants to do is run his fingers through it. He grips his thigh to keep his hand back.

“Apparently there’s always time to bash me. I mean, it’s not like I have feelings or whatever.”

“I like some of the stuff you do,” Michael says, nodding his head at Jake’s Avenged Sevenfold shirt. “I saw them live last year with my cousin.”

“Aha!” Jake exclaims. “Finally someone on my side!”

“That just shows that Michael has bad taste, too,” Brendan says, and he’s only saying it to tease Jake and they’re shoving and smiling at each other and Michael wonders if they’re something more than friends. He can’t help but feel a little jealous of the way they are with each other; it reminds him of what it used to be like with Luke, all friendly shoving and insults said with fondness.

But he doesn’t have much time to contemplate because someone is plonking two large pizzas on the table between them and squeezing his shoulder, and when he looks up Sarah is smiling down at him. “Enjoy boys,” she says before walking off and they all pull slices on to their plates. Michael can see Brendan picking the pepperoni off of his slices, and putting it on Jake’s, who rips his crusts off and puts them on Brendan’s plate.

“You still obsessed with pineapple on your pizza, Hemmings?” Michael asks, and when Luke’s eyes meet his they’re confused and wary looking, like he’s waiting on Michael to shout at him or something. Michael hates himself a little.

“Yeah, why?”

“You want mine?” he says, shoving his plate towards Luke, and when Luke takes the pineapple from the side of his plate, he can’t help but smile. He misses the look that Calum shoots at Ashton behind his back, and Ashton shrugging in response.

***

It’s finally Saturday, and this is the week Michael has off. He’s not sure if the fact that Luke is off with him is a good or bad thing. He intends to spend the day lounging in his room playing his Nintendo but it’s not even 12 when someone is banging on his door and barging into his room.

“Hey!” Jake says, and throws himself on the bed beside Michael. From the corner of his eye, Michael can see Luke standing awkwardly at the door and he hates the feeling that goes through him.

“So,” Jake starts, stretching out beside Michael, “since Luke here can drive we were thinking about heading into town, getting some beers and chips and stuff. You have to come. You’re not laying round here by yourself all day. I’ve recently discovered you like Avenged Sevenfold, so we’re going to bond and you’re going to back me up in music arguments. Capisce?”

“How do you have so much energy? Damn.”

“It’s nearly eleven, man. C’mon, get dressed and we’ll go.”

Michael drags himself out of bed and pulls on jeans and baggy t-shirt. He walks into the sitting room, Converse swinging from his hand and sees Luke sitting by himself on the sofa.

“Uh... Where’s Jake?” Michael asks scratching the back of his neck.

“He forgot his wallet.” Luke answers without even looking up from his hands, and then Michael is feeling mad again because Luke abandoned him. Luke left him with no explanation. If anything, Michael is the one who deserves to go around looking like a kicked puppy.

“Oh,” Michael says, sitting on the sofa, as far away from Luke as he can manage and pulls on his Converse. He takes a little longer than necessary to do up the laces and just as he’s pulling the knot tighter Jake comes back in.

“Calum said no whiskey,” Jake announces, and Michael and Luke looks at each other and then Luke is pushing himself off the sofa and walking towards the door.

“I don’t think we should let Michael drink tonight,” Luke says. “He doesn’t seem to handle his liquor very well.” And then he’s walking out the door and Michael is sitting open mouthed on the sofa, and Jake is laughing and following Luke out.

“C’mon Michael!” Jake shouts from outside.

 

***

They make it to and back from the store in under two hours so Michel decides to lie on the grass by the lake again because it’s surprisingly comfortable. Jake said he’d put the drink and food away and Luke just walked away from the two of them and into his own cabin.

“He looks sad, maybe we should go talk to him?” Jake suggested, but Michael didn’t answer, just put on his sunglasses and shrugged.

So now he’s lying on the grass, earphones in and volume turned the whole way up. He doesn’t notice Luke sit cross legged beside him until he rips out his earphones.

“Dude! What the hell?!” Michael asks, and Luke just puts the earphones on Michael’s chest and he can still hear All Time Low coming from the tiny speakers.

“Why did you give me your pineapple?” Luke asks, not looking at Michael. Michael scoffs, and he can see the tips of Luke’s ears go red.

“What is it with you and asking weird questions?”

“Why did you give it to me?”

“Because you like pineapple? And I hate it?”

“Oh, ok.” Michael can’t help but stare at him in disbelief.

“You’re so weird, Hemmings.” Michael says, putting his earphones back in. He doesn’t see Luke leave, so he turns his head to see if he's still there. Luke is lying out next to him and they’re so close Michael could reach out and grab Luke’s hand. If he wanted to. Which he doesn't.

He takes out his left earphone and hands it to Luke without saying anything, and Luke looks at Michael and smiles before putting it in his ear.

“Still listening to All Time Low?”

“I love ‘em.”

***

Michael swore after last Saturday that he was never going to get drunk again – it’s just not worth the hangover – so he’s still cradling his first beer which he got like, half an hour ago. They’re in his and Calum’s cabin again. He’s not sure why they all congregate here all of the time, but he doesn’t mind. It just means he can go straight to bed whenever he feels like it.

“We should do charades or something,” Brendan suggests, and when everyone declines he just shakes his head. “You guys are no fun.” He mutters.

“We are fun. That’s why we’re not doing charades.” Jake says, leaning against Brendan and taking a swig of beer.

“If only we had Twister or something. That’d be cool.” Ashton says from where he’s lying out on the floor.

“That’d be dangerous,” Calum says, and Michael laughs.

“Monopoly?” Ashton suggests.

“That really is dangerous. Someone would get murdered, and I know who it would be.” Jake says, nudging Brendan with his elbow and laughing.

“Oh shut up,” Brendan says. “What good is a game of you don’t follow the rules? Saying ‘please’ repeatedly does not get you out of jail.”

“See?” Jake says, and Brendan flicks him on the ear.

“I’m gonna get a glass of water from the kitchen. Anyone want anything?” Michael asks, pulling himself out of the overstuffed armchair with a little more difficulty than he’d like to admit.

“Yeah, will you grab me another beer?” Jake asks.

“Sure,” Michael says before heading towards the kitchen, and just as he’s about to go in, Luke is coming out and they awkwardly shuffle past each other, not even looking at each other.

“Dear god,” Calum mutters. “What the hell is going on with those two?” He says when he sees Luke head towards the bathroom. “One minute they’re yelling at each other, the next they’re drooling over each other and sharing pizza toppings, and then they’re all skitterish and avoiding each other like the goddamn plague.”

“They spent the entire day lying on the grass and sharing an iPod.” Jake says.

“We’re not allowed iPods.” Brendan states.

“That’s what you take from that situation?” Jake asks, exasperatedly.

“I walked in on them making out last week.” Calum says, and everyone goes silent for a minute.

“Commence plan A, cap’n?” Ashton pipes up from the floor.

“Aye, aye!” Calum says, laughing when Ashton salutes at him.

“What’s plan A?” Brendan asks.

“You’ll see, matey.” Ashton says.

“Alright, man,” Calum says. “No more pirate talk.”

“Aye aye.”

***

“It’s not a very good plan,” Brendan says. “How do we know they won’t kill each other?”

“Just get Luke,” Ashton says, walking away from Brendan and Jake and heading over to the corner of the room where Calum is talking to Michael. “Hey guys!” he says. “What’re we talking about?”

“Nothing,” Michael says. “Was just telling Calum that All Time Low are touring soon and we should definitely go.” Ashton sees his opportunity.

“I’ve never heard them before, have you got them on your iPod?”

“Yeah, but it’s in my room. You can go get it if you want, it’s on my bed.”

“Come with me?”

“You won’t get lost.”

“C’mon Michael,” Ashton pleads, batting his eyelashes and flashing Michael his most dazzling smile.

“Fine, jesus.”

Michael leads Ashton to his room, and grabs his iPod and goes to walk back out. “No,” Ashton says. “In here. It’s loud out there.”

“Ok?” Michael says, and Ashton sits on the bed and pats the space beside him. Michael sits tentatively.

“Ok, so this is one of my favourite songs,” Michael says, scrolling through the list of songs on the screen when there’s shuffling and shouting outside, followed by Calum shouting/whispering “Don’t wake the kids, dammit!”

And then Luke is being shoved into Michael’s room by Jake and Brendan, and Ashton is dashing out of the door and before either of them is aware of what’s happening, the door is being shut and Michael can hear them jam something against it.

“What the fuck?!” He shouts, banging on the door with his fists. “Let us the fuck out!”

“No!” Comes Ashton’s reply and it’s muffled through the wood. “We don’t know what’s going on between you two but it’s frustrating to watch so talk it out!” Michael tries opening the door and banging on it a few more times but his attempts are useless.

“Motherfuckers,” he says.

He turns to Luke, who’s just standing in the middle of the floor, dazed look on his face.

“Shut up, Hemmings.”

***

“Guys, we said get him into Michael’s room, not physically assault him.” Calum says as they all sit back on the sofa.

“Hey, you guys got the easy one. Takes real masterminds to get someone into their own fucking room,” Jake mumbles. “Luke kicked me in the shin by accident, and it really hurts.”

“Stop whining,” Brendan mumbles.

“There’s no shouting or screaming. Maybe they’ll be able to work it out without resorting to violence.” Ashton says.

“Yeah,” Calum says. “But seriously, dude. Have you never listened to All Time Low before?”

 


	6. Part 6

It’s been nearly a half an hour and Michael can’t even bring himself to look at Luke. They haven’t spoken a single word to each other and Michael feels like he’s about to start tearing his hair out.  He tried getting the door open for fifteen minutes but it was useless. Luke just stood in the middle of the room, staring between Michael and the door, mouth open a little and eyes pleading, as if Michael could do anything about the situation.  Luke stood in his daze until Michael flicked him on the ear, before flopping down on the bed. From his periphery vision, he could see Luke walk over to the door.

“Ashton, please man,” he shouted, banging on the door with his fists. “Let me out!”

“It’s no use, dingbat. I don’t even think they’re out there anymore.” Michael mumbled from where he has his face shoved into a pillow.

And now Michael is laying on his bed with his Nintendo while Luke wanders around the room, fidgeting and looking warily at Michael, like Michael’s about to eat him or something.

“Will you sit the fuck down? You’re making me tired.” Luke stares at the empty spot at the end of the bed before finally sitting. He’s still fidgeting and messing with his hands, and there’s a red flush creeping up his neck, and Michael can’t help but feel a little endeared by him.

“What are you playin’?” Luke asks, and Michael can hear a little shake in his voice.

“Zelda.”

“Is it fun?”

“Very.” Luke sighs, and Michael is at a loss. He wants to talk to him, he really does. Ever since he spoke with Sarah, he’s thought about nothing else. He knows they both need it, both need to know where they’re at. He’s tired of being mad at Luke, and he’s tired hurting over what happened. It wasn’t easy losing Luke, but he thinks having him so close and not being like they once were is even worse. They’re comfortable enough to share a bed and kiss, but not comfortable enough to just be okay in each other’s company and that’s what hurts the most. He knows it’s hard on Luke, too, because Michael hasn’t been making it any easier. Luke has been trying, though, Michael will give him that.

So he shuts his Nintendo and sits cross-legged on the bed, motioning for Luke to move closer to him. Luke looks a little wary, and Michael gets it, because every time Michael is nice to him, a snarky comment follows shortly after. But this time he’s going to keep a cool head. Luke can tell his side of the story, and then Michael will hug him and everything will be ok. He hopes.

“What? You gonna shout at me and blame this whole situation on me?” Luke asks. And then Michael is feeling mad again, but he balls his fists and breathes slowly.

“No, I just think that maybe they’re right and we probably should talk. About us. Or like, what happened, I guess.”

“Did you tell anyone about it?” Luke asks, and he looks so nervous and sad that Michael can’t look at him.

“No. Just Sarah.”

“Sarah as in Sarah that works here?”

“Yeah,” Michael says, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his chin on them. “Her and mom are best friends so I don’t know. I just needed to talk to someone, I guess. I wasn’t expecting you to be here, and it hurt a little. Seeing you again.” Luke looks down, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

“I’m sorry, Mikey.” Michael can feel a lump in his throat and his chest suddenly feels way too tight. He wants to go and hug Luke, just _be_ with him, but he knows they need to do this now, otherwise they’ll tiptoe around it forever and that wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have kissed you without asking first.”

“I shouldn’t have left,” Luke says, finally meeting Michael’s eyes. His eyes are so blue, so honest, and Michael can’t look away. “It was a dick move, and the second I was out the door I wanted to turn back so bad, but I was scared. Jack and Ben used to tease me about you all the time, saying we were boyfriends because we were always together, and I suppose it got to me more than I thought it did. And then you kissed me, and all I could see was my brothers, and the kids at school, and my parents, and I didn’t know what to do. I never wanted to hurt you, Mikey. That was the last thing I wanted, but I was just so confused. You had everything figured out, you knew who you were and I just felt like I was so behind, like I should have had everything sorted out as well.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me about it instead of running away from me? If anything, I could have helped.”

“Because I was confused over you. I mean, I was still into girls, but when we had sleepovers and we were in bed together, or even just sitting close on the couch, I thought about you the way my brothers talked about girls, and it felt wrong. I felt guilty, because I thought if you knew I was thinking those things, you’d hate me. So I never even thought of talking to you about that stuff ‘cause I didn’t want to creep you out and push you away.” Luke scoffs. “But you ended up hating me, anyway.”

“Luke...” Michael starts, but he doesn’t know how to finish, because he really _did_ hate Luke, and as much as he wants to tell him that’s not true, he doesn’t want to lie to him either.

“You don’t have to say anything.” Luke looks back down at his thighs and Michael wishes he’d look back at him, because the moment they were sharing was nice even though Michael feels like he’s about to cry. Michael scoots closer to him and puts an arm around his shoulder. Instinctively, Luke puts his head on Michael’s shoulder, and Michael shoves his face into his hair, inhaling and smelling Luke and is shocked by how comforting he finds it.

“I’m sorry you felt like that. I know it’s scary at first. I hated myself, for a while. I really did. I thought I was sick, that there was something wrong with the way I was. I even kissed Cathy Brown to see if I could force myself to like girls, but I just went home after and cried. All the other guys were talking about kissing girls and all I could think about was kissing Billie Joe Armstrong. Or Freddie Mercury.”

Luke chuckles against his chest. “Freddie Mercury? Really?”

“Hey,” Michael says defensively. “He was pretty hot. And don’t even get me started on that voice.”

“You’re weird.”

“But seriously, it took me a while to accept myself and realise there was nothing wrong with me. And it took me twice as long to build up the courage to tell you.”

“You told me before your parents.” Luke mumbles, and Michael thinks he can feel him smile against his chest.

“Yeah, I knew deep down that you wouldn’t judge me for it. My parents were a whole ‘nother story. But you’ve met my dad; you know what he’s like. I dyed my hair pink and he wouldn’t talk to me for two weeks.”

Luke moves back from Michael, all softness gone from his eyes and he looks angry. “Did he say anything to you?”

“Easy, tiger. Mom shot him down before he could. And then that night he came into my room and said at least he didn’t have to worry about me knocking someone up before I was ready, but that condoms were still important and all that crap.”

“Nice.”

“Not really.” Luke rests his head against Michael’s shoulder again, and a little bit of tension is gone from the room. Michael rubs his hands up and down Luke’s arm, and tingles run from his fingers up to his elbow.

“I stayed away because I thought it would make the feelings go away,” Luke admits, and Michael pulls him closer. “When I saw you the next day at school, all I could think about was the way your lips felt against mine, and I was terrified someone would know what we did so I just sat with Kyle, and the longer I stayed away, the harder it was to go back. I didn’t want to feel that way, not about another boy. Especially not my best friend. But like you, in the end, I accepted it, and yeah.”

“So, what? Are you gay?”

“Bisexual.” Luke says, and he looks down when he says it and Michael wants to inflict pain on any person that ever made Luke feel like there was something wrong with his sexuality.

“I’m still gay.” Michael says, trying to lighten the mood again.

“That’s good,” Luke chuckles, and Michael smiles.

“Man, my legs are cramping and it doesn’t look like these assholes are gonna let us out before morning. You wanna go to bed?” Luke doesn’t answer, instead pulls away from Michael and stands up to stretch.

“Suppose we better, we have another hike tomorrow.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Michael stands up too, loosening his belt and then looking at Luke because he doesn’t really know what to do in this situation.

“Did you not get the schedule or something? Also, I sleep in boxers and a shirt,” is all Luke says before toeing off his vans and dropping his trousers to his ankles and Michael can’t look away. “You want to sleep at the wall or the outside?”

“Uh, outside?” Michael says, and Luke just passes him and climbs in under the covers, and Michael kind of stands in a trance before taking off his jeans, turning off the light and getting in beside Luke.

They lie in silence, but it’s not awkward like it was earlier. Michael is about to doze off when he feels Luke’s hand slot into his and when he turns his head, he can see Luke already looking at him in the faint glow from the moon, a small smile on his lips. Luke tugs his hand, and then Michael gets it, and rolls over, throwing an arm over Luke’s warm stomach and resting his head on his chest.

“Just so you know,” Luke whispers into his ear. “It never worked.”

“What are you talking about, Hemmings?” Michael asks, eyes slipping closed.

“Staying away from you. It didn’t make the feelings go away.”

Michael’s eyes shoot open. He’s afraid to say anything, afraid to _breathe_ , because he doesn’t want to ruin the moment. He’s not sure if he heard Luke right, and he’s afraid if he makes a wrong move, he’ll wake up alone and he’s not sure he could deal with that.

“Michael.....” Luke says, and he sounds wary again. “Michael, please say something.” Luke’s whispering into his ear.

“While we’re confessing,” Michael decides to go with. “I totally remember that kiss from last week.” Luke just chuckles, and Michael can feel it vibrate in his chest. But now they’re stuck in silence again and as nice as it is lying with Luke, Michael is none the wiser about where they stand with each other.

“Luke,” he says, lifting his head from Luke’s chest and looking down at him. In the moonlight his face is pale and beautiful, and Michael wonders how anyone could look so perfect. Their eyes meet, and Michael knows there’s nothing else to say. There’s only one thing they could do that would be right in the moment they’re having, so Michael moves his face closer to Luke’s. Just before their lips touch, Michael asks “is this ok?” and Luke mutters “of course” before putting the had that’s not holing Michael’s on the back of his neck and pulling Michael down to meet him.

Their mouths slot together perfectly, and it’s so much more perfect than the kiss they shared in the kitchen. There’s no alcohol making Michael’s brain fuzzy and so he is able to concentrate on the feeling of Luke. Luke kisses with such passion that it takes Michael’s breath away, literally and figuratively, and eventually they have to pull apart for air.

“Oh my God,” is all Michael can say, his lips swollen and tingling.

“Am I a better kisser than Cathy Brown?” Luke asks, and Michael rolls his eyes and moves off Luke, snuggling back into his side.

“I told you that in confidence.”

“I will guard that information with my life,” Luke says and Michael swats him in the chest.

“Five years later, you’re still a massive dork.” Luke kisses the top of Michael’s head, and Michael has never felt more content in his life.

“I suppose we should thank those guys, huh?” Luke asks.

“There’s no denying they helped, but do they really need to know that? I mean, Calum would be insufferable.”

“Ashton, too, come to think of it,” Luke agrees, and Michael tries to stifle a yawn, but fails. “You should sleep,” Luke whispers. “Got a lot of walking to do tomorrow.”

“I’m totally expecting piggy back rides.”

 

***

“It’s been two hours,” Calum says, standing up from the couch. “There have been no screams, no sounds of struggling. I think we can assume they’re both alive. Will we let them out?”

“I suppose,” Ashton answers. “Better wake those two up first,” he says, nodding at Jake and Brendan, who are passed out on the sofa.

“I hope they managed to work something out,” Calum says, as Ashton shakes Jake’s shoulder. “I don’t think I could put up with the awkwardness much longer.”

“What happened with them?” Jake says, rubbing at his eyes. “They still in there?”

“Yup,” Calum says. “Gonna let em out. Who wants to do the honours?”

“Not me,” Jake says. “I already got attacked by Hemmings, and Michael looks like he could throw a punch. It was your idea, you guys deal with ‘em. C’mon Brendan, let’s go.” Jake pulls Brendan off of the couch and then the two of them leave, and Ashton is about to follow when Calum grabs his wrist.

“Oh no you don’t. And you’re gonna have to deal with Luke when he goes back to the cabin anyway. Would you not rather get it over with now?”

“Not really,” Ashton mumbles. “Shouldn’t we have a taser or something? In case they pounce?” Calum just rolls his eyes, walking off towards Michael’s room, Aston trailing slowly behind him.

Calum pulls the chair out from underneath the handle and presses his ear against the door. “There’s no sound at all. What if they managed to kill each other silently?” he asks, and for a split second believes it to be true.

“Just open the damn door, I’m tired and I want to go to bed.”

“Oh my God,” is all Calum says when he opens the door and looks into the room. Luke and Michael are still wrapped up in each other under the covers, Michael fast asleep on Luke’s chest, Luke’s arms wrapped around Michael.

“What is it?” Ashton asks, trying to shove Calum out of the way.

“Shhhh, don’t wake ‘em.”

“Oh my God,” Ashton repeats.

“They better fuckin’ love us for this,” Calum says.

Ashton slaps him on the back of the head. “Don’t swear.”

***

Luke wakes sweaty and warm and with a mouthful of hair, and it takes him a moment to remember what happened the night before. He doesn’t want to wake Michael, but he really needs to pee and so he tries to manoeuvre out from underneath Michael, but it’s useless. Michael is clinging to him, and Luke can’t really complain.

He blows on Michael’s face to wake him up, and when his eyes open they’re foggy and uncomprehending, but then they meet Luke’s and Luke can actually see the moment realisation dawns in them. Michael’s face splits into a grin and Luke is so gone, he can’t do anything but smile back.

“Mornin’” Luke says, rubbing his nose against Michael’s, and Michael’s nose scrunches up and his eyes are crinkling from smiling.

“What time’s it?” Michael asks.

“Dunno, I need to pee, so I woke up.”

“No,” Michael says, burying his face in Luke’s chest. “You’re not leaving me.”

“Want me to pee your bed? ‘Cause that’s what’s gonna happen if you don’t let me get up.”

“Pee in my bed, pee all over my room, just don’t leave me.” Luke laughs, shoving at Michael trying to get him on his own side of the bed.

“Damn, Clifford, what are you? Some kind of human octopus?”

“Yes.” Michael answers, and as if to prove his point, tightens his hold around Luke’s waist.

“We should probably get up anyway. Hike is early, and we gotta eat before we go.”

“Why would you ruin my morning by reminding me?” Michael says, eventually pulling himself away from Luke, instantly feeling cold. “Hey, maybe I should almost drown again and we can get out of it.”

Luke starts to climb over Michael, and when he’s got a knee each side of Michael’s hips, he leans down to peck him on the lips. “Get dressed. I gotta run to my own cabin and get clothes. Meet you in the dining hall?”

“Sure,” Michael says, leaning up and kissing him again before Luke rolls off and goes to the door.

“I hope these fuckers unlocked the door.” When it swings open, Luke looks back and smiles and Michael, and Michael’s heart does something funny.

***

“And then,” Pete is saying, his little hand in Michael’s and their arms swinging as they walk for breakfast, Calum and the rest of the kids in front. “Michelle said that Billie can’t sing, and I said he can, and she said he can’t, and I said if he can’t sing then why is he...”

Michael zones out and Pete continues talking. The walk to the dining hall is still a little rough on him, and if he’s struggling with this, he doesn’t want to think about what he’ll be like on the hike. Calum told him they’re going a different route, and this one is a little easier, but he’s still apprehensive.

And he doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Luke. Last time Luke was walking on ahead with his friends, but Michael knows that this time Luke is gonna hang back with him. And as much as he likes that idea, he doesn’t like the idea of Luke seeing how unfit he actually it.

“So _then_ ,” Pete says, “I told her that you liked Green Day and she said that if you liked them they couldn’t be that bad.”

“That’s cool, little dude. I like your shirt,” Michael says, nodding at Pete’s Metallica shirt. “You have good taste.”

“You like Metallica too? Aw, man. My dad loves them and he always plays them in the car. Mommy doesn’t like them so much. Hey, can you tie my bandana around my head like a pirate?”

“Sure, wait til we eat, yeah?” Michael silently thanks whoever came up with the bandana idea because without the coloured bandanas around wrists or heads, Michael still wouldn’t be able to tell which kids he’s supposed to be in charge of.

When they make it to the dining hall, Luke is already at a table with Ashton, and when he spots Michael he smiles at him. Michael lets go of Pete’s hand and heads over to the table, slotting in beside Luke, and Ashton is looking at them funny but he doesn’t even care. He cares even less when he feels Luke’s hand on his thigh.

And then someone is sliding in beside him and he’s a little surprised to see Pete, his little legs dangling over the edge of the seat, not quite tipping the ground.

“Hey Pete,” Ashton says. “You not sitting with your friends?”

“Michael is my friend,” Pete says, like Ashton just said the most stupid thing in the entire world.

“Damn right I am,” Michael says. “Nine years old and already has better taste in music than you, Irwin.”

“Yeah,” Pete says triumphantly. “Where’s Calum?” he asks, scanning the table for his other favourite counsellor.

“He walked in before you guys, he’s probably up getting food,” Luke says.

“Save my seat,” Pete says to Michael, with such seriousness Michael is actually a little afraid. “’m gonna go get Count Chocula.”

“Alright, little dude.” Michael salutes and Pete bounds off, and when Michael turns to face Luke, he’s  already looking at him, a fond smile on his lips.

“What?” Michael asks, feeling a little self conscious.

“Nothing,” Luke says. “You’re just really good with him, is all.”

“Yeah,” Ashton says through a mouthful of toast. “Calum must think you’re a god.” As if on cue, there’s a loud crash and Calum shouting “Oh my god!” Michael can’t see what happened over all the kids, but he knows Pete was involved, so he decides Calum can handle it.

“So,” Luke asks. “You excited for the hike?”

“Shut up, Hemmings.”


	7. Part 7

Calum, Michael decided, was a liar. This trail was not easier than the first; it was a million times harder. Where the other one was mostly little hills and loose dirt he kept slipping on, this one was a steady incline, rocky and dangerous. Michael thought that the kids would surely struggle with it, that everyone would, but again he was coming last. Except this time, he had Luke’s hand around his elbow, or an arm around his waist whenever he was having trouble making it over rocky patches, or pulling him along just when he was ready to lie down and accept his death. And it was nice, but Calum and Ashton kept sending knowing little smirks down at them and Michael was going to kill one of them.

“You’re doing good,” Luke leans in to whisper in his ear when Michael has to stop for the millionth time to catch his breath and let his legs get some circulation going. His thighs are burning hand he just knows they’re going to be cramping for the next week.

“Yeah, so good. All the little nine year olds are like a mile ahead.” Which wasn’t even an exaggeration. Michael had kept Luke back so much that everyone else was starting to go out of sight and Michael just hoped Luke knew the trail well enough to get them down.

“They’ve been doing this for years. This is like, your second time. Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Luke says, pulling Michael’s hat off his head and fixing his fringe underneath before putting it back. “C’mon. Let’s get going again.”

“God, I hate this. I hate Spencer for thinking it’s okay to make us do this. I hate this fucking mountain. I hate everything.” Michael complains, and Luke is chuckling and shaking his head.

“Technically,” Luke says, holding his hand out for Michael to grab, “it’s too small to be considered a mountain. So it’s just like, a glorified hill.”

“Oh, that’s right baby, talk dirty to me,” Michael says, but then he’s slipping again and Luke is too busy hauling his ass off the ground to even make a comment.

“It really is lovely up here, isn’t it?” Luke asks, and he sounds so sincere, that Michael can’t find it in himself to make a sarcastic comment.

“I suppose it would be. If I could see through my tears.” Luke laughs, and takes his hand from Michael’s, throwing his arm around his shoulder instead.

“We’re nearly at the top. And then it’s all downhill. And there’s somewhere I wanna show you.” Luke murmurs the last part softly into Michael’s ear and Michael can’t stop the blush that he can feel creeping up his neck. He kind of wishes Luke didn’t have this effect on him but at the same time, he thinks it’s the best feeling in the world.

“D’you think they’ve even noticed that we’re not there anymore?” Michael asks, nodding his head at the group ahead and as if Calum could hear him, he’s stopping and turning to face them.

“You guys okay?” Calum shouts down. Michael can see Pete walk back to Calum and grab his hand.

“Fine!” Luke shouts back.

“No,” Michael shouts at the same time. “Just kill me now!”

“You want us to wait till you guys catch up?” Calum asks, and Luke is shaking his head.

“No, it’s fine! I know the way!” Luke’s answer seems to satisfy Calum who turns and runs after the group. Michael can almost see his knowing smirk, and he can’t imagine what him and Ashton will be saying to each other.

“How is he running?” Michael asks. Or tries to. It just comes out in a series of wheezes.

“He’s an athlete,” is all Luke says, and Michael gets it. “Want a drink of water? Or a granola bar?”

“I’ll take an ice cold bottle of coke and a big, greasy pizza.”

“Oh, good job there’s a pizzeria at the top of this hill then,” Luke says without even smiling and Michael can’t help but roll his eyes. Luke pulls his rucksack around to the front and pulls out a bottle of water. “D’you want it?” Michael almost drinks the whole thing in one go.

They continue climbing. Luke’s long legs carrying him gracefully over the loose rocks and dust, Michael struggling to keep up and turning an impressive shade of pink. The sun is high and yellow, and Michael’s shirt is sticking to his back, his jeans plastered against his legs.

“You know,” Luke says, helping Michael climb over a fallen tree, “jeans and converse are not that great for walking.”

“No way!” Michael says, feigning surprise. “Well all my sweats are old and gross, and Calum told me that this wouldn’t be a bad walk. I thought I’d be ok.”

“There’s no one up here to judge your sweats, man.”

“I’m sorry you’re so far behind the rest of the guys,” Michael says, swinging his legs across the thick trunk. “It probably sucks.”

“No, it doesn’t. I can take this at a leisurely pace, you know, enjoy it. And I get to spend the day with you. Even if you do look like you’re about to have a heart attack or something.” And Michael does feel like he’s about to have some kind of heart attack, but not from the effort of all this climbing.

“That was your plan all along, wasn’t it?” Michael asks. “Get me alone in the wilderness where I’m weak, and then kill me and chop me up into little bits. Blame it on the bears.”

“Aw, damn. You caught me. What gave it away?”

“I saw the machete in your bag,” Michael says, as he jumps down from the trunk

But then he feels his back hit against one of the trees that are still standing, and Luke is pressed all down his front, and Michael’s brain hasn’t really caught on to what’s happening. “Been wanting to get you to myself all day,” Luke says, blue eyes staring into Michael’s.

“You have me,” is all Michael manages to croak out before Luke’s lips are on his, his fingers tugging at Luke’s hair. Luke’s forehead bumps against the peak of Michael’s cap, so Luke just grabs the brim and twists it round so the cap is on backwards before diving in to kiss Michael again.

They stand in the shade of the tree with Michael’s back against the trunk and Luke’s arms above Michael’s head for what feels like hours. Luke’s tongue is sliding deliciously against his own, and Michael can’t help but smile into the kiss, and when Luke pulls back for air, he’s smiling too.

***

“We’re cheating. C’mon,” Luke says as he grabs Michael’s wrist, pulling him off the trail and into a large clump of trees.

“What the hell?” Michael asks. “What do you mean we’re cheating? And shouldn’t we stick to the trail? I know you’re Wilderness Boy, but I don’t fancy getting lost.”

“We’re taking a detour. I have a feeling you’re not going to make it to the top, and there’s another trail over here. This way’s a little steeper going down than the main trial, but you’ll manage.”

“Fuck you. I could totally make it to the top.”

“Mhmm,” Luke says, pulling back branches and letting Michael walk in front of him.

“I didn’t really take you for the cheating type.” Michael says, stepping onto the trail. If it can even be called that. It’s a thin trail of compacted soil in the middle a vast expanse of decaying leaves and humungous trees. “And are you sure this is safe?” Michael asks, as he eyes the steep and narrow slope.

“I sometimes walk this on my Saturdays off. It’s nicer than the main trail, worth the slow decent. Lot of pretty stuff to see.”

“You walk this _by choice_? Christ. What am I dating?”

“Oh,” Luke asks, small smirk on his lips. “We’re dating, now?”

“Shit,” Michael says, and he kind of wants to slip and break his neck or something because that was embarrassing thing he’s ever said, he’s sure of it. He just knows Luke is still smirking and he doesn’t want to turn and face him, because he knows his face has gotten even redder, and it’s so hot and he’s starting to have a little trouble breathing. “I didn’t..” He mumbles, looking down at his feet and picking up his pace a little bit. “I was just.... I mean.... If you don’t wanna....”

“Michael, wait,” Luke says as he grabs Michael’s wrist and spins him around. He’s not smiling like Michael thought he would be. “Do you wanna date me? Is that what we’re doing?” Luke asks, and he looks just as embarrassed as Michael feels.

“I dunno,” Michael says, looking down at his converse and trying to focus on anywhere else but where Luke has his hand wrapped around his wrist.

“Do you wanna date me?” Luke asks, and Michael thinks he can feel Luke’s grip tightening, but he could just be imagining it.

“Yeah, I guess, I mean if you wanna date me. I didn’t wanna like.... rush you or whatever. I don’t.. God.” Michael groans and hides his face behind his free hand.

“You’re so adorable,” Luke says. Michael can feel him stepping closer, and then he’s pulling Michael’s hand away from his face and leaning down to press a soft kiss against Michael’s lips. “I guess I wanna date you, too.”

“You’re such a dork,” Michael says, but he’s smiling when he says it, and then leans in for another kiss.

***

“Ashton and Calum are gonna have a field day when they find out,” Michael says, hand clasped tight in Luke’s as they continue downwards.

“Something tells me they already know,” Luke says. “Calum kept smirking at us during breakfast and Ashton was unnaturally giggly. Even for him.”

Michael doesn’t answer, just watches where he’s putting his feet and trying not to tumble down the hill. His knees are screaming from the extra pressure, and his back isn’t doing too good either, and he vows then and there that he’s going to start working out because his level of unfitness really isn’t healthy. His mom was right, but he will never tell her that. The hand that’s in Luke’s is sweaty and slippery, but neither of them let go.

They walk in silence for a while, and it’s nice. Michael never really went anywhere without his iPod, so he never really listened, but now he has no choice. It’s peaceful, with the soft singing of birds and the chirping of insects, gentle rustlings of leaves in the trees. Michael can see why Luke would come out here by himself. Even the smell is pleasing, fresh plants mixing with the dead ones. He can almost feel his lungs being cleaned out, so he stops and closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath.

“You good?” Luke asks, turning to see why Michael stopped.

“Yeah,” Michael answers, and Luke just smiles at him.

“C’mon. It’s not much farther up here.”

*** 

Luke starts leading him off the path, and Michael’s apprehensive because it’s getting steeper and steeper and the fallen leaves are making it hard to not slip. He’s taking tiny steps, knees braced and already preparing himself for a fall. Luke is gliding along in front of him, not even looking where he’s going.

“You know,” Michael says, grasping a small tree and refusing to go any further. “I’m starting to believe you are actually going to murder me.” Luke walks back towards him and sticks out a hand. “No. Uh uh. If I let go of this tree I will fall and I will die. I’m not going down there.”

“C’mon, Mikey. There’s a drop over here we walk to, then it’s just like walking down stairs.”

“A drop? You’re fucking nuts. No.”

“Please?” Luke asks, sticking out his bottom lip and looking at Michael with big puppy dog eyes and Michael tries, but he really can’t resist him.

“If I die, I’m so fucking haunting you.”

Luke smiles and takes his hand, and leads him over to the drop. Michael can hear running water, and when he looks over the edge, he can see a stream and a small waterfall. “It’s my favourite place in the world,” Luke says, pointing to a pile of rocks in a little nook off to the side of the waterfall. He walks Michael along the edge of the drop, and then there’s another path down to the edge of the stream. And oddly enough, it looks like the safest place to walk in the entire woods, all jutting rocks and hard soil.. Luke smiles at Michael before heading down and Michael can’t help but follow.

Michael instantly falls in love with the place the second he’s sitting on one of the large flat stones beside Luke, listening to the sound of the waterfall and the noise the water makes as it runs over the rocks. The air is saltier and it reminds Michael a little of the beach.

“I could stay here forever,” Luke says, putting an arm around Michael, and Michael instinctively folds into Luke’s side, resting his head on his chest and locking his arms around his waist. “Me and Ashton found it one Saturday we had off together. It was the first year I worked as a counsellor so I had all this freedom and I used to come back here every Saturday I had off. I’m not sure if Ashton ever came back, though.”

“He’s missing out,” Michael says, and he really means it. He never thought he’d be the outdoorsy type, but he sees the appeal of sitting here for hours and just being able to forget about everything for a little while. “Talk to me,” he says to Luke.

“What?”

“Tell me something. Anything. I like listening to you talk.”

“I don’t know, man. There’s a little girl in our cabin who’s obsessed with tying up Ashton’s hair all pretty and putting make up on him.”

“And he lets her?”

“Yep,” Luke says, staring across the other side of the stream. “He doesn’t even know half of these kids, a lot of new ones this year but he’d do anything for them. He really would. But you deserve credit, too.”

“Me?” Michael asks, genuinely shocked. “What did I do?”

“It’s just the way you are with Pete. I know the kid has it hard at home, I heard Spencer talking about it to Sarah once. And there’s no denying he’s a handful, because he is. But everyone just _deals_ with him, you know? Like we make sure he’s safe and out of trouble, gets food and whatnot. But you, I don’t know, you look after him. You talk to him about the stuff he likes and you let him sit with you at breakfast, hold his hand and watch concerts on your laptop. And Spencer’s noticed it too. Pete’s happy. He was happy last year, torturing Calum, but this is a different happy. And you’re doing it. He’s stopped acting up so much and I think it’s cause he knows you’ll give him attention even if he’s sitting quietly.”

Michael squirms a little under the praise. He never even realised that he was doing all that stuff – Pete just kind of clung to him and never let go. “’m not doing anything that great,” he mumbles against Luke’s chest and Luke wraps his arms around him and pulls him closer.

“I think you are. And so does Pete. The day after the drowning incident, when you stayed in bed, he wouldn’t shut up about you, he was so worried. Spencer had to keep telling him that you were fine and just needed to sleep it off, but he wasn’t buying it. Calum had to have a hold on him all day to make sure he didn’t run back to your cabin.”

Michael’s heart swells a little and he swears that if Pete wants to watch Green Day videos in his room at ungodly hours of the morning, then he’s welcome to.

“Don’t make me out to be the good guy,” Michael says. “I didn’t even wanna come here. And Sarah told me you were willing to work for eight weeks without getting paid.”

“That’s different,” Luke protests, and Michael can hear the embarrassment it his voice.

“It’s not really. It was selfless. You had a good time here, and when you got old enough, you wanted other kids to have a good time, too.” Luke rests his head on top of Michael’s, and Michael feels him let out a sigh.

“I dunno, I guess this place just kept me sane. A couple of years ago mom and dad were going through a bad patch, we all thought they were gonna get a divorce. And it was nice to get away from all that for the summer, just come here and do kid stuff and let the adults deal with the adult stuff.”

“I’m sorry,” Michael says, and his voice is a little croakier than he intended it to be.

“For what?”  Luke asks, his face scrunching up in confusion.

“For everything. For your parents making you upset And for making your nose bleed during dodge ball. And I’m sorry for kissing you and scaring you. And for hating you. And for never realising that you were just as scared as I was. And just... everything.”

“That’s a lot to be sorry for.” Luke says, and Michael can hear the smile in his voice.

“You’re such a dork, Hemmings. Seriously. You just ruined my beautiful moment with a lame ass joke.”

“You know, we have Saturdays off together. You can come up here with me now.”

“If they make elevators, yeah. No problem.”

“You’ll get used to it. We have a hike like, once a week anyway.” Michael tries hard not to cry.

“And I was just starting to like this place.” Luke pulls Michael’s hat off, placing it on his own head before planting a kiss on the top of Michael’s forehead. Michael leans against Luke, his eyes slipping shut as he hums contentedly.

“How long until we have to leave?” Michael asks, hoping the answer is never because right now he’s happier than he’s ever been.

“Maybe twenty minutes?” Luke says as he starts stroking Michael’s hair. “I’d say they’re well down by now, and this trail leads you a bit away from the bottom so we have to wait until they’re passed otherwise they’ll know we cut somewhere.”

“What about the teams? And the points?”

“Calum probably won’t count us. And it’ll be a tie between blue and red, anyway.” They sit in silence for a few minutes, Michael just listening to the sound of the stream and Luke’s heartbeat.

“Hey Luke,” Michael says, and Luke just hums in response. “Twenty minutes is a lot of time we can spend making out.”

***

When Michael and Luke emerge from the bottom of the path, they can see the kids running around the picnic area or sitting eating their lunch, while the other four counsellors are sitting around a wooden picnic table.

“Ayyy!” Calum shouts when he sees the two of them walking towards them. “You made it!” And then he stops talking and he’s just staring between the two of them, a wicked smile playing on his lips. Ashton’s too busy eating an orange to notice anything off, and Brendan and Jake are talking loudly about something or other.

“What is it?” Luke asks Calum.

“Oh, nothing. Just both of your lips are swollen as hell. And Michael, yours is bleeding. I think it could be from Luke’s lip ring. And Luke, you’re wearing Michael’s hat.” Michael can feel his face go red, and Luke is messing with his feet in the soil. Calum is laughing and Ashton gets annoyed when Calum can’t stop laughing long enough to tell him what happened.

“You’re a dick,” Ashton says, punching Calum lightly on the arm. Michael and Luke sit down and Luke takes a lunchbox out of his bag and slides it to Michael.

“That’s for you,” he says and Michael thanks him before opening it.

“So there was a pizzeria?” he asks, staring disbelievingly at the pepperoni pizza Luke brought for him.

“My very own special one,” Luke winks, and when Calum starts to gag Michael doesn’t even bother to say something rude or sarcastic. Ashton is still shaking Calum’s arm, asking him to tell him what exactly is going on.

***

They had made it back to the camp in perfect time because it seemed the second Michael shut the door to the cabin the Heavens opened and it started lashing rain. It didn’t stop once and progressively got worse as the evening wore on. By eight o’clock it was a full on storm. The wind was howling and the rain pelting against the windows, thunder booming overhead.

And now it’s eleven, and Michael is in bed playing his Nintendo and texting Luke and listening to the storm outside. He’s trying to relax, but his mind keeps going back to what Luke said about his parents, which gets him thinking about his own.

He doesn’t miss them – well, maybe his mom, a little – but he enjoys being away from his dad. What he told Luke was true, his dad did know that he was gay, and came up to his room that night and said those things that made it seem like everything would be okay, but Michael soon realised his dad didn’t really _accept_ him being gay. It was subtle things, like never making eye contact or never being alone with him. And it hurt, or course it did. He was his dad, for fucks sakes.

It only got worse when he got his first boyfriend and wanted to take him on a date. He asked his dad to drive them to the cinema – Karen was working – and Michael’s jaw still twitches when he remembers what his dad said to him. “ _Are you sure you wanna be seen with another boy_ in public?” Daryl wouldn’t drive him.

Michael takes his frustration out on his Nintendo, pressing the buttons unnecessarily hard. He tries not to think about it, to tell himself that he’s over it, he has Luke now, but he can’t. He knows what he has with Luke is good. He’s not going to let anyone else ruin it.

And then, because he’s thinking of Luke, he remembers something else Luke said. About Pete having a hard time at home. His chest tightens and he feels a little sick. He tries not to think about it because the scenarios he’s coming up with in his head are probably so far off what’s actually going on.

A particularly loud clap of thunder pulls him from his thoughts, so he shuts off his Nintendo, tucking it under his bed, before pulling the blanket over his shoulders and getting ready to go to sleep. Not long after another bang of thunder, there’s a tentative knock on his door, so quiet he almost doesn’t hear it, and when he shouts come in, Pete sticks his head in the door. His face is pale, his eyes wide and scared.

“What is it, little dude?” Michael asks, starting to worry.

“I don’t like thunder.” Pete says, and he won’t look at Michael. Michael knows what he wants.

“You wanna sleep in here?” he asks, and Pete nods his head so fast, Michael fears it might fall off. He sits up, pulling the blankets back so Pete can clamber in behind him.

Pete finally settles, and Michael lies back down, pulling the blankets up over the two of them. Pete is curled in on himself, his back to Michael. He reaches his hand out to ruffle Pete’s hair, asking “You okay, little dude?”

“Yeah,” Pete answers, muffled by the pillow. “Thanks, Mikey.” Michael smiles at the nickname and rolls onto his side, facing the door.

When lightening illuminates the room, Michael hears Pete whimper and roll over, plastering himself against Michael’s back.

Michael shoves his hand under his pillows and fists Luke’s shirt before he’s able to fall asleep.

 


	8. Part 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so there's smut in this chapter, in case some people don't like reading that kind of stuff.

“Look, I’m glad you two worked your shit out, but do we really need to see it?” Calum huffs, sitting down on the couch beside Ashton, taking a handful of popcorn and shooting a look of disgust over at Michael and Luke who are sharing one of the armchairs, mouths connected. Michael doesn’t stop kissing Luke for a second, just flips Calum off and the returns his hand to where it was tangled in Luke’s hair.

“I think it’s cute,” Ashton says, stuffing popcorn in his mouth.

“It is cute. Would be cuter if I didn’t have to see it every five seconds.” Calum mutters, sliding down the couch and crossing his arms.

“It was your idea to lock them in the room.”

“Shut up,” is all Calum says.

***

“This is considered actual torture in some parts of the world, I’m sure of it.” Michael says to Luke, trying to shake the glitter from his clothes and remove some of the pipe cleaners and raw pasta that’s been stuck to him.

“It was their day first arts and crafts, they usually go crazy. Next time, you’ll be a little safer.” Luke says, patting at Michael’s shirt to help get off the glitter. “Dude, it’s even in your eyelashes. How?”

“These children are demons.” Michael states, and he’s not even smiling because he means it. “This was my favourite shirt!”

“It’s only glitter, it’ll come off. May take a while, but at least it’s pretty.” Luke says, smirking a little, and if they weren’t in a room full of hyperactive children armed with pva glue and paint, Michael would definitely kiss that smirk off his mouth.

“Typical for Ashton and Calum to be off on art day.  I think they plan it. Last year, Brendan, me and the old counsellor James were coughing glitter for a month.” Luke grumbles, and Michael just _wants_ him, but he knows Spencer would fire both their asses if they snuck off and left Jake alone.

He’s so close to just leaning in and pressing his lips to Luke’s when there’s an “uh oh” behind him, and he knows without even turning around that it’s Pete. He closes his eyes and asks Luke “How bad is it? I can’t look.”

“Well,” Luke says, peering over Michael’s shoulder. “It appears that Pete has managed to spill a full bottle of pva glue onto his lap.”

Michael shoves his face into Luke’s shoulder and groans. “Please tell me you’re joking. Please.”

“I’m afraid not. Some of those confetti shapes seem to be adding to the mix. You might want to sort it out.”

Michael just wraps his arms around Luke’s waist, shaking his head against his shoulder. “I don’t wanna.” Something hits the back of his neck, and when he looks down he can see a balled up piece of paper.

“Not in front of the children!” Jake shouts from across the room.

“Please help me,” Michael says, sticking out his bottom lip and doing his best puppy dog eyes at Luke. “I’ll pay you back in sexual favours.” Luke just scoffs and pushes him away.

“Sorry, Clifford. He’s all yours.”

***

Michael’s never been so happy to be walking back to his cabin ever. He thinks he’d take a hike over another 4 hours of arts and crafts any day. His ears are still ringing from all the screaming and shouting, and every time he moves his head, glitter falls from his hair. He’s feeling a little murderous. And the fact that he’s gonna have to take Pete’s glue pants to the washroom and try clean them doesn’t make him feel any better.

When he gets back to the cabin, all the kids head upstairs to get washed and changed for dinner and Michael spots Calum sitting on the sofa, some crap day time tv show playing. “Hey,” he says, sitting on the armchair and shrugging off his jacket.

“Hey. Me and Ash rented a couple of ... What the hell happened to you?”

“Arts and crafts,” Michael says nonchalantly, and Calum just nods.

“You have purple macaroni in your hair. And your eyebrows are all glitter. Anyway, me and Ash rented a couple of movies and got a tonne of junk food so were just gonna watch a few movies round in his and Luke’s cabin tonight. You game?”

“Yeah, sounds cool.” Michael says, running his hand through his hair, looking for the macaroni. “What did you get?”

“Just a couple of comedies, Anchorman and that. C’mere, I’ll get it out.” Michael hops up from the armchair, moving over beside Calum. When he has his hands in Michael’s hair he asks, “So how is it going with you and Luke?”

“Great, I guess. Tonight is our one week anniversary. Well, technically that’s tomorrow cause that was when we said we were dating, but I think when you bastards locked us in the room is when we.. you know..”

“Became boyfriends?”  Calum asks as he tugs the macaroni out of Michael’s hair.

“Yeah, I suppose we are boyfriends, aren’t we?”

“Look, Michael,” Calum starts, and his tone changes into something Michael doesn’t like. It’s too serious, and Michael can sense the ‘don’t hurt him’ talk coming. “I’m gonna say this because I know Luke won’t. You’re his first. And I don’t just mean _boy_ friend, I mean anyfriend. I know he seems confident and like he knows what he’s doing, but he doesn’t. And that’s fine and all, but just don’t rush him or anything. He wants to be at the same level as you, because he knows you’ve done this stuff before and he’s scared you’ll get bored waiting for him to catch up.”

“That’s ridiculous, I’d never..”

“Yeah, but that’s _Luke_. Ashton told me he freaked out last night and came into his room asking how to give a blowjob.” Michael can feel himself turning red, and Calum’s intense stare isn’t helping.

“That’s... We haven’t even.. Why is he? What?”

“You haven’t, but you will. And he’s just afraid he’s gonna be terrible and you’re gonna think he’s not worth it.”

“But he is. I don’t just want him for sex.” Michael hides his face in his hands, because why is Calum talking to him about this?

“This is as awkward for me as it is for you, trust me. But he’s like my little brother, and I just think you should know because when you try that stuff he isn’t gonna say anything about never.. you know.”

“But why not? I wouldn’t make fun of him, does he not know that?” Michael asks, and he feels a little hurt. “Did he talk to you guys about this?”

“Sort of, but that’s not important. He does trust you, but that’s the way Luke is. He just wants to be good for you. Look, don’t tell him I told you any of this. He’d kill me, but it’s for the benefit of both of you. Just treat him good, ok?”

“I will.” Michael doesn’t think he’s meant anything more in his life.

***

“I’m so bored,” Jake mutters. “Can we please watch something decent now?” They’re all sitting in the living room of Luke and Ashton’s cabin. Luke and Michael are squashed into a small armchair, Luke lying on top, and Michael absentmindedly running his fingers up and down Luke’s spine. He smiles when he can feel Luke shiver and kisses the top of his head.

“He’s right,” Luke mumbles from Michael’s chest. “As much as I love Will Ferrell, I don’t think I can sit through another one of his movies. Did you guys not get anything else?”

“We got a couple of horrors, I think. Ash, where’s the bag?” Calum  says, stretching his arms up over his head and standing.

“In my room, by the bedside locker.” Calum walks out to get the bag, flicking Luke’s ear on the way past. Michael laughs as Luke grumbles ‘asshole’.

Luke looks up from Michael’s chest, and Michael can’t help but stare at him. His hair is loose and falling in front of his face, and Michael is starting to prefer it like this, like he just rolled out of bed. It’s irresistible and he can’t help but run his fingers through it. Luke hums, and when their eyes meet, he whispers “Hi”.

“Hi,” Michael whispers back, pushing the hair out of Luke’s eyes. “You dork.”

“I’m your favourite dork though,” Luke says, his gaze still not leaving Michael’s. Michael laughs.

“Now, where did you get an idea like that?”

“I’m psychic,” Luke deadpans. “I can read your mind. Right now you’re thinking that I’m your favourite and that we should make out some more to annoy Calum.”

“Oh shit, you really can read minds,” Michael gasps, and Luke is still smiling up at him and Michael’s heart hurts a little. He puts his hand on the back of Luke’s neck, pulling him up towards him and catching his lips in a kiss.

It’s slow and soft, and even though they’re in a room full of people Michael thinks it’s the most intimate they’ve ever been. Luke just opens his mouth, an invitation, which is different to the usual ‘take’, and Michael slips his tongue in and feels Luke go lax against him.  There’s a hand on his cheek and one resting on his heart, Luke fitting perfectly between his legs, and he doesn’t want to move ever.

But then someone is coughing, and when they pull apart they see everyone staring at them, Calum with an eyebrow raised and Jake with his mouth open.

“Get a room, guys.” Ashton says, hitting play on the remote and starting the movie. Michael still can’t breathe properly, and he misses the feeling of Luke’s lips against his own. It scares him a little, how much he needs Luke, but he can think of nothing else. Luke is nuzzling his face into his neck, so he tightens his arms around his waist.

“You know,” Michael whispers into his hair. “I’ve seen this movie a hundred times. Maybe we _should_ get a room.” Luke stiffens in his arms, and he regrets saying it a second later when he remembers what Calum said. But then Luke is sucking on his neck, his tongue sliding against his skin, and Michael gasps a little.

“You haven’t seen my room yet, have you?” Luke asks, his voice muffled with Michael’s skin.

“Nope,” Michael says, feeling goose bumps erupt on his neck when Luke’s warm breath fans over his skin.

“Want me to give you the VIP tour?” Luke says, standing up and Michael feels cold as soon as Luke moves away. Luke holds his hand out for Michael to take, and pulls him up, still grasping his hand as he leads him out of the sitting room.

“Gross,” Calum mumbles, and everyone else laughs.

***  

Luke’s room is Luke. His walls are covered in band posters, a guitar in one corner and there’s a few paperbacks scattered around. Michael spots ‘1984’ and ‘Breakfast for Champions’. But he doesn’t get much more time to look around because then Luke’s hands are on his waist, his chin resting on his shoulder.

“D’you like it?”His breath tickles Michael’s ear, and he leans back against Luke’s chest.

“It’s wonderful. Very you. Nice ambiance, bit messy though.”

“Like you can talk. Now where were we,” Luke purrs, his mouth going back to where Michael’s neck and shoulder meet. Michael leans his head forward, giving Luke better access, and it feels so good he can feel his knees starting to shake.

Luke paws at his shoulder, getting Michael to spin in his arms and face him, their lips finally meeting, and Michael can’t help but melt into Luke’s touch, putting everything he’s got into the kiss because he knows Luke is doing the same.

Luke pulls him towards the bed, their mouths never disconnecting, and when Luke falls Michael falls on top of him. He moves a hand up to run his fingers through Luke’s hair, Luke moaning and letting Michael slip his tongue in.

Michael can feel himself getting hard, and going by the way Luke is moving his crotch against Michael’s tells him Luke is too, but all he can think of is what Calum said about Luke never doing anything like this before. Michael knows that if he asked, Luke would have sex with him, but he doesn’t want it to be that way. He wants Luke to say no if he’s not ready, he wants Luke to tell him if he goes too far.

But Calum is right. Luke just _gives_ , but Michael doesn’t want to take. He pushes himself off Luke, lying down beside him.

“What the hell?” Luke asks, sitting up and staring disbelievingly at Michael.

“Nothing, we just need to... calm down a little.”

“Are you joking?” Luke asks, lying back down beside Michael, turning his head to look Michael in the eyes.

“No. We’ve only been going out a week.”

“And?”

“You’re not ready.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, Luke. I don’t wanna force you to do anything.” Michael states, and Luke just looks at him before laughing.

“You’re not forcing me, you idiot.” Luke says, as he moves to kiss Michael again. Michael pulls away and feels a little sick when he sees the look on Luke’s face.

“Dude, I’m serious. Calum said..” Michael instantly shuts up when he sees the hurt turn to anger.

“Oh, and what did Calum say?” Luke asks, and Michael flinches at the sharp tone. They haven’t fought since they got together, and Michael really doesn’t want them to fight over this.

“Nothing. He just said that we... um.. he said that we shouldn’t mess around when we  have to work tomorrow.” Luke just stares, and Michael wants to bolt from the room. He’s glad Calum told him, because he was right that Luke wouldn’t mention it, but he also hates him a little for getting him in this situation. But then something in Luke’s face changes, and he looks a little scared.

“Michael... What did Calum tell you?”

Michael decides it’s best to be honest, because he’s still a little hard and this is awkward as hell. “He just said that you freaked out on Ashton ‘cause you’d never done this kind of stuff before, and you were afraid you were gonna be bad at it.”

“I told him Ashton not to say anything. God fucking dammit, you probably think I’m a lame ass virgin now.”

“No, Luke, he didn’t tell me because..”

“He shouldn’t have told you. End of.” Luke says, rolling onto his back and looking at the ceiling.

“I don’t think it’s lame.” Michael puts an arm across Luke’s stomach, rubbing at the skin that’s exposed where Luke’s t-shirt rid up.

“It’s hardly cool,” Luke scoffs, and Michael can actually hear the eye roll.

“I think it is. I mean, I wish my first time with someone was different. It really sucked. It was just a blowjob, but when he was finished, he just kinda patted my cheek and walked away. I was drunk, I rushed into it. And I wish I didn’t.  I wish I’d waited for you.” Luke doesn’t answer, doesn’t even turn around to look at Michael. “Please talk to me, Luke. Don’t be mad at me.”

“M not mad at you.” Luke mutters. “Mad at those assholes for telling you.” Michael moves beside Luke, pulling him tight against his chest and kissing his cheek. He moves his hands from Luke’s side, runs his fingers along the waistline of his jeans.

“Don’t be mad at Calum,” Michael whispers into his ear. “He only wanted to make sure I treated you good. That’s all.” Luke finally turns his head, looking Michael in the eyes. “And I can,” Michael says, emphasising his point by grabbing Luke’s belt buckle. “If you want me to.” Luke nods, and Michael starts opening his belt, kissing Luke again.

“I want you to,” Luke groans into Michael’s mouth. Michael has Luke’s belt undone, his zipper down and button popped.

“Are you sure this is okay?” Michael asks. He wants to be certain, he doesn’t want Luke to regret a thing.

“Yes,” Luke says, and he sounds sure, so Michael pulls his pants and boxers down to his knees. Luke’s face goes red, and he bites on his lip ring so Michael leans forward and kisses him again, tongue tracing his bottom lip and thumb rubbing the inside of Luke’s thigh. Luke’s breathing gets faster, and when Michael looks down he’s a little relieved to see that Luke is getting hard again.

“What do you want me to do?” Michael asks into Luke’s mouth, a knee either side of Luke’s thighs.

Luke just groans, his hips thrusting up against Michael. “Anything. Just do anything.”

Michael pulls away from him and spits on his palm. “Sorry. I know it’s gross, but I don’t have anything.”

“It’s fine, just kiss me.” So Michael does, and he swallows the moan Luke makes when Michael finally wraps his fingers around his cock. He starts slow, and the feeling of Luke’s cock in his hand and his tongue in his mouth is too much and not enough at the same time. Luke groans against his mouth, a sound that goes right to Michael’s dick. He can’t help but press it down against Luke’s thigh, hoping for a little bit of relief as his hand works Luke up and down.

“You too, Mikey,” Luke pants. “Want you, too.”

So Michael tries opening his belt with his left hand, his right still tight around Luke.  “Fuck,” he groans into Luke’s mouth. “I can’t get the..” He feels Luke’s hands at his belt, his long fingers making quick work of undoing it, then going straight for the button on his jeans, moaning and breathless as Michael starts to speed his hand up.  His jeans and boxers are shoved down his thighs and he almost cries from relief when his cock is freed and slaps against his t-shirt. He feels Luke’s hand against him, unsure and clumsy, but he bats it away.

“What?” Luke says, his eyes glazed over and his mouth slack and swollen.

“I have an idea,” Michael says, sliding down Luke’s body until their cocks are aligned and he takes his hand from Luke’s for a second, only to wrap it around the both of them.

“Oh my fuck,” Luke groans when his cock rubs against Michael’s. Michael has to lean his forehead against Luke’s and shut his eyes because it’s too much too quick. Luke’s cock is wet from precome and Michael’s spit, sliding gloriously alongside Michael’s as he bucks his hips up.

“Mikey... Mikey... Go a little faster. I’m nearly... I’m gonna..” Luke’s breathing is rapid, and Michael can feel his stomach muscles clenching, even through his shirt. He knows he’s not going to last much longer, so he speeds his hand up, thrusting his hips down every time Luke thrusts up and biting his lip to keep quiet.

“Mikey!” Luke groans, his hips moving faster, and dragging Michael right along with him.

“Luke, you gotta be quiet,” Michael says through clenched teeth. “Don’t wanna wake anyone up.”

“Mikey, please, I’m gonna come. Kiss me, I want ... Kiss me.” It’s wet and sloppy, Luke’s teeth catching his bottom lip. Michael moves his left hand up to grab the one Luke has clutching the pillow.

“Mikey, Mikey I’m gonna.. Oh god.”

“It’s okay, baby. I got you. I got you.” Michael feels a warm, wet heat against his hand and cock as Luke empties into his fist, Michael’s name falling from his lips. He keeps pumping until he comes a moment later, falling on top of Luke, sweaty and breathless.

“Holy shit,” Luke says, and Michael laughs, pulling his hand out from between them. “Gross,” Luke says scrunching up his nose. “Go wash it.”

“Half of it is yours, you dick. Here,” he says, moving his hand towards Luke’s face. “Wanna taste?”

“You’re so disgusting,” Luke says, shoving at Michael’s shoulder.

“Yeah, but I’m your favourite.” Michael says, looking down at Luke.

“Yep, you are.” It’s quiet for a minute, as the stare at each other and Michael isn’t sure what he should do.

“You’re my favourite, too.” He says before pecking Luke on the lips and rolling off the bed, shuffling to the bathroom with his jeans still around his thighs.

When he comes back with a wet wash cloth, Luke is under the covers, his jeans flung on to the floor. He lifts the duvet for Michael to slide in beside him, so Michael kicks off his jeans and gets in bed.

“Wanna clean up a bit?”  He says, handing the cloth to Luke, who takes it and starts rubbing at his shirt.

“Thanks.” Luke says, still looking down at his shirt.

“You’re welcome.” Michael says, taking the cloth when Luke’s done and throwing it on the ground beside his jeans so he’ll remember to pick it up in the morning.

“No, Michael. Thanks, for all that.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Michael says, throwing an arm across Luke’s stomach and resting his head on his chest.

“I do. You made my first time great.” Luke shoves his face in Michael’s hair and kisses the top of his head. “I’m glad I waited for you. Although, if someone had told me a month ago that Michael Clifford would give me a handjob, I would have laughed in their face.”

“There’s a lot more Michael Clifford can do for you.”

“You’re an idiot,” Luke says, pulling the blankets tighter around them.

“Your favourite idiot, though.”

“Yeah. My favourite.”

 


	9. Part 9

 “Luke, you gotta be quiet.” Michael says before dipping his head back down and taking Luke’s cock back into his mouth.

“I can’t help it Mikey,” Luke pants out, emphasising his point with a particularly loud groan and a harsh tug of Michael’s hair.

“Seriously,” Michael says, shoving his face where Luke’s hip meets his thigh and starts sucking a bruise there. “I’m flattered and all, but do you really want the whole fucking cabin to hear?” Luke subtly tries to get Michael’s mouth going back in the direction of his painfully hard cock, but Michael has to take a minute to catch his breath.

“Mikey,” Luke whines. “Mikey, please, I can’t...” Luke is writhing under Michael, chest and neck pink, sweat making his hair stick to his forehead in clumps, and Michael wants to keep him like this for as long as possible. Michael blows cool air over the tip of Luke’s cock, and Luke all but screams, bucking his hips up, and Michael laughs before finally taking Luke back into his mouth, using his hand where his mouth doesn’t reach.

“You’re such a fuckin’ tease,” Luke says, his voice raw and needy. Michael hums around him to shut him up, his own hips moving against Luke’s leg. Luke’s hands push Michael’s fringe off his forehead, and then make their way to the back of his head. It’s not to force him down, Michael knows, Luke just has to touch. He learned that pretty quickly.

Luke’s hips are starting to move erratically, and Michael has to pin his hips down, his own erection pressing painfully against his boxers, Luke’s moans and constant words of encouragement making him come undone a lot quicker than he’d like to admit.

“Mike..” Luke breathes out, and Michael knows that voice. It means Luke is close, so he hollows his cheeks and uses his tongue to add more pressure to the underside of Luke’s cock, his own hips speeding up.

Luke pulls a pillow in front of his face biting down on it and trying not to make too much noise as he comes, Michael swallowing everything he’s giving him, tonguing him softly through the aftershocks and trying to come down himself.

“Shit, Mikey,” Luke pants, flinging the pillow to side and staring down at Michael, blue eyes blown and glassy. Michael just crawls up Luke’s body and shoves his face in his neck.

“You really need to learn how to be quiet,” Michael mumbles.

“Shut up. Want me to sort you out?” Luke asks, putting his hand against Michael’s crotch.

“Uh..” Michael says, and Luke starts laughing.

“Did you really just come in your pants dry humping my leg?”  Michael doesn’t answer, just nibbles at the skin under Luke’s ear. Luke is still chuckling. “I’m so good I didn’t even have to touch you.”

“I’m never giving you an orgasm ever again.”

“I’m sorry. You’re the best orgasm giver ever, Michael.”

“Damn straight.” Michael pulls away from Luke’s neck to rest his head on his chest. “I haven’t come in my pants in like... three years. It’s so gross.”

***

“Basically, you just gotta find all the items on the list. Further down the list, harder they are to find. Team with most items wins.” Calum shouts over the excited voices of the kids. Michael can see Pete practically bouncing on his feet, clutching the list like it’s the most precious thing in the world.

“Everyone know what to do?” Jake shouts, and there’s a chorus of “yes”. “Alright, you have an hour. If you’re whole team ain’t back by four, you’re gonna loose points.” He pauses and then shouts “Go!”

Michael watches as the kids stand around for a second before they comprehend what Jake actually said, and then there’s shouting and pushing as they all try to run in different directions. Pete’s already gone, and he had such determination on his face Michael is a little afraid for any of the kids that might get in his way.

“Alright, Mikey, you gonna help me look for some stuff?” Calum asks, tying the blue bandana around his head again.

“I thought this was just for the kids?” Michael groans from his spot on the grass. He had his sunglasses and his Nintendo, and was ready for a nice relaxing Wednesday in the sun. Hopefully lying against Luke. Maybe making out a little.

“Nope. And you gotta help, blue cabin is falling behind on points and Ashton’s already started to gloat. Get off your ass.”

“Aw, c’mon,” Michael pleads, closing his Nintendo and looking up at Calum. “You saw Pete before he took off. He could probably do the whole thing by himself.” Despite this, he stands up. “I thought all we had to do was wait around for ‘em to come back. I was looking forward to this.”

“Ah, the naivety of the first timers,” he hears from somewhere behind him before there are strong arms wrapping around his waist and a chin digging into his shoulder.

“Did you know we actually have to do this?” Michael asks, looking over his shoulder at Luke.

“Of course. Did you really think you’d get to spend the entire day laying around?” Michael realises how stupid it was when Luke says it out loud.

“No.”

“Then why did you take your Nintendo?”

“Shut up,” Michael grumbles and Luke kisses his cheek.

“C’mon, traitor,” Calum says, shoving a list into Michael’s hand. “Jake and Brendan already have a head start.”

*** 

“Shouldn’t you be helping Ashton?” Calum asks, digging through the art chest to look for a blue feather.

“Probably,” Luke agrees, sitting on one of the small tables in the dining hall. “But he went off with the kids, and I didn’t really fancy walking around on my own.”

“Well if you’re gonna hang around you could at least help,” Calum huffs, trying to brush glitter off his shorts.

“Nah,” Luke says, putting his hands on Michael’s waist and pulling him in between his legs. “I’m here to distract 50% of your team. Ash would kill me if I was fraternising with the enemy.”

“You fraternise with the enemy quite a lot,” Michael says, meeting Luke’s lips with his own.

“Goddammit, guys,” Calum says, and slaps Michael on the back of the head.

“Ow,” Michael complains. “What the fuck was that for?”

“Focus! We need to find green crepe paper.”

“Sorry about the wife,” Michael says after kissing Luke again. “She gets a little needy when I don’t give her enough attention.” He doesn’t need to turn around to know the look Calum is giving him.

“S’okay. At least she’s hot.” Luke’s eyes are crinkling up the way they do when he smiles, and Michael smiles back.

They both burst out laughing when Calum says “fuck off.”

***

“So you excited for parent’s day?” Luke asks as they walk back to the meeting point, their joined hands swinging between them Michael’s free hand clutching a deflated beach ball. He does not understand scavenger hunts at all.

“What the fuck is parent’s day?” Michael asks.

“Halfway through the eight weeks, parent’s come up and see their kids. It’s generally the younger ones, though. And it’s on a Sunday, so you kinda get that day off.”

“Oh,” Michael says. “Sounds fun.”

“Except it’s not,” Calum says from somewhere behind the pile of junk he has cradled in his arms. “Cause Pete’s parents never show up, and it’s horrible seeing him watching all the other kids. Last year we couldn’t get him out of his room.”

Michael’s stomach suddenly drops. He forgot about the whole Pete having a hard time thing because the kid is such a hyperactive ball of energy that it’s hard to imagine him being saddened or scared by anything. Except maybe thunderstorms. “Does he ask for them?” Michael asks.

“Only for the first two years. After that he stopped.” Luke answers, and tightens his hold on Michael’s hand. His reply doesn’t do anything to make Michael feel better.

“That’s gross, man. Has anyone asked them to come up?”

“I think Spencer called once, when Pete wouldn’t stop crying, but we never heard anything about it after that, so I’m guessing Spencer was told to butt out.”

Michael doesn’t reply, because he really doesn’t know what to say, and so they walk back to the flag in silence, Luke’s thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of Michael’s hand, Calum muttering about no one helping him and cursing when he drops something.

Michael checks his watch, and it’s ten to four. There are a bunch of kids milling around the flag clutching desperately to whatever items they could find, talking excitedly amongst each other. Brendan and Jake are already there, laying out on the grass.

There’s a shriek of “MIKEY”, and Michael hardly has enough time to let go of Luke’s hand and prepare for the armful of nine year old that he receives. “Mikey, I got so much,” Pete’s saying, rushed and breathless. “I tried so hard to find stuff, and I have a huge pile. It’s over there beside Sophie, she’s making sure no one steals anything.”

“That’s great, Pete.” Michael says, and he can’t help feeling a little sad as he looks at Pete’s smiling face and big bright eyes.

“C’mon,” Pete says, grabbing Michael’s hand and tugging at him, getting him to follow. “I wanna show you!” Michael goes willingly, waving over his shoulder at Luke, and motioning for Calum to follow him.

“Wow, Pete,” Michael says, when he sees the neat little pile Pete has arranged on the grass. “This is all I got, you wanna take it?” he asks, handing the beach ball to Pete, who takes it and places it neatly beside the rest of his stuff.

***

Blue won, due to Ashton being back too late with a group of four kids, and the fact that Pete got nearly everything on the list by himself, the other kids finishing it. Michael was a little scared Pete was going to turn inside out when Brendan announced the winners.

“We won Mikey!!” He screeched, and Michael held his palm out for a high five.

“Good job, Little Dude!”

And now he’s sitting at the dinner table, Luke on his left rubbing his hand up and down his thigh, and Pete on his right giving the full story of where he found everything. It’s pizza night again, and Michael scrapes off his pineapple, placing it on Luke’s plate, and Luke gives Michael his ham.

Every so often, Michael will turn his head to look at Luke, and every so often he’ll find Luke already looking at him. He knows it’s some sappy chick-flick stuff, but his heart really does stop for a second every time their eyes meet, and then speeds up to catch up on lost time. He’s afraid he’s going to pass out.

“What do you think, Michael?” Jake asks, and Michael can only say “huh?” because he was too busy staring at Luke to hear the first part of the question.

“Jake was saying I could drive us into town this Saturday,” Luke answers, and Michael just nods, content to spend his Saturday any way as long as it involves Luke.

“Can I go to town?” Pete asks hopefully, his mouth and nose covered in tomato sauce.

“Why would you wanna go to town when you get to spend Saturday with me and Calum?” Pete doesn’t answer, just stares at Ashton and takes another bite of pizza. Michael can’t help but laugh.

“Face it Irwin,” Michael says. “You’ll just never be as cool as me.”

***

Luke and Jake went into the bookstore to look for some novels, so Michael takes this opportunity to sneak off to the pharmacy. His hair has faded quite substantially, and he hates how much his roots have come through. So he scans the hair dye section, picking up a bottle of bleach and then looking through the more vibrant colours. There’s not much choice, and he considers leaving it bleached when he spots turquoise and decides he might as well go for that.

He’s walking through the aisles, picking up shampoo, toothpaste and a new toothbrush, when he comes across the condoms and bottles of lube.

He stares at them for a minute. He’s not sure where he and Luke stand on the whole sex thing. He doesn’t wanna seem presumptuous and pushy, and he knows that if Luke sees them he’ll think Michael is expecting sex and will therefore offer. Michael doesn’t want that, doesn’t want Luke to feel pressured in any way.

He then thinks that should the situation present itself, it’s better to be prepared. They’d both be thanking him for thinking ahead and saving the whole awkward “uhh.. I don’t have any condoms” moment.

And then he looks at the sizes. He knows what size he takes, but then he feels bad for just presuming he’d top. He can do whatever Luke wants, but he wants the option to be there, and there’s nothing more uncomfortable than a condom that doesn’t fit.

He’s starting to get weird looks from the lady in the aisle next to him. This has got to be the longest anyone has ever spent looking at a box of condoms, so he just thinks fuck it before grabbing a bottle of lube and a box. If they don’t need ‘em, they don’t need ‘em. On his way to the counter, he turns and grabs another bottle of lube, just in case.

He thinks it’s a bit unprofessional for the cashier to smirk at him when he’s paying for his stuff, but his face is too red for any snide comment about actually getting some to have any gusto behind it.

***

“Where’d you get off to?” Luke asks, shoving a hamburger into his mouth. Michael knows him well enough to know that he’d be needing food, and so went to the food court after the pharmacy, not being at all surprised to see Luke with a McDonald’s meal spread out in front of him.

“Dude,” Jake says, watching in shock as Luke takes another massive bite of his burger. “We’re getting dinner when we go back.”

“I haven’t had a Macca’s in four weeks. Let me enjoy this.” Michael uses his thumb to wipe ketchup from the side of Luke’s mouth,

“It’s like feeding time at the zoo,” Jake muses, and Luke shoots him a dirty look, which is more amusing than scary considering his cheeks are puffed out with food. He turns his attention back to Michael.

“What’d you get?” he asks, nodding at the bad and shoving fries into his mouth.

“Just shampoo and stuff,” Michael says, pulling the bag a little closer to him so Luke can’t peek in.

“Aw man,” Luke says, and he sounds distraught. Michael’s heart stops for a minute and he’s scared in case Luke saw what was in the bag and is planning to make a big deal out of it in the middle of the food court which is full of moms and loud children.

“What is it?” Michael asks and he hopes the other two don’t notice the weird pitch to his voice.

“I should have got a milkshake.”

Michael just stares at him as he takes another bite of his burger, almost taking a finger with it.

***

“I’m not feeling too good,” Luke says, sprawled out on his bed, head on Michael’s stomach as Michael runs his fingers through his hair.

“I’m not surprised. You ate enough for twelve today. Was that huge ass waffle really necessary?”

“Yeah,” Luke says, almost purring as Michael scratches at his scalp.

“I’m not looking forward to tomorrow,” Michael admits, thinking about Pete.

“It’ll be fine. I mean, last year Calum just hung out with Pete in his room, and I have a feeling you’ll soften the blow this year.”

“It still sucks, though. I mean, he’s their kid, why wouldn’t they wanna come see him?”  Michael asks.

“Apparently they’re some hotshot lawyers and work like, 99% of the time.” Michael just shakes his head. His dad’s not the nicest person to be around, but he still can’t imagine not being around him. And without his mom, he has no clue what he’d do.

“I’m gonna let him watch the Metallica concert I downloaded tomorrow. Didn’t want him to see it cause they curse a lot, but fuck that, man. He can watch whatever he wants.”

“Within reason,” Luke adds, and Michael rolls his eyes.

“I can see which of us will be the fun parent.” He regrets it the second it escapes from his mouth, and he’s expecting Luke to get all awkward and quiet, but instead he just laughs.

“Well, someone’s gotta keep your punk ass in check.”

***

Michael leave’s Luke’s cabin at 12, sneaking into his own so as not to wake Calum or any of the kids. He walks into the kitchen intending to grab a glass of water before heading off to bed.

He’s almost at his room, when he hears a noise coming from the sitting room and his first instinct is to scream and get Calum to deal with it, but he manages to hold on for a second and realises it’s the sound of someone crying.

And again, his first instinct is to get Calum because he’s no good with people crying, it makes him feel useless and awkward and he likes to avoid these situations when he can.

But the sniffling continues while he stands dumbly in the hall, moon shining in through the window and the hand that’s holding the water getting significantly colder. Calum’s room is _right there_ , it would be so easy to knock, tell Calum what’s going on, and then bury his face in Luke’s shirt before falling asleep and having everything sorted out in the morning.

He turns and walks back out to the sitting room.

He’d like to say he was surprised when he saw Pete sitting on the sofa, wrapped in the fleece blanket from his bunk and crying into a small blue elephant, but he wasn’t. He’s really out of his depth here. He can deal with Pete when he’s hyper, or a little frightened, but this is a level of emotion he’s not really sure he can handle.

“Hey, Little Dude,” he says softly, walking over to Pete and putting his glass on the coffee table before putting an arm around Pete’s shoulders. “What happened?”

Pete doesn’t answer, just tries to hide his teddy under the blanket and wipes his nose on the cuff of his shirt.

“Who’s this little guy?” Michael says, taking the elephant from Pete’s small hands and smoothing down it’s ears. “I forgot my teddy at home,” Michael says. “He’s a lion. His name’s Daniel, and I miss him a lot.”

“Really?” Pete sniffles.

“Yeah, he sleeps in my bed every night and I don’t like not having him here. Does this guy have a name?”

Pete nods. “Tyler. After the guy in Fight Club.”

“That’s a pretty cool name for an elephant. Does Tyler know why you’re sad?”

Pete nods again, looking down at the blanket covering his knees.

“Do you wanna tell me why you’re sad?”

Pete shakes his head, and Michael can see fresh tears fall down his cheeks. Good job, Clifford, he thinks. Make the kid cry even more. He’s at a loss, he really doesn’t know what to do. Pete is still sniffling every couple of seconds, and the teddy Michael has clutched in his hand is wet, obviously from where Pete was crying into it. He tries something he saw his mom do with his baby cousin.

“What’s that, Tyler?” He asks in an over dramatic voice, holding the stuffed elephant up to his ear. “You think that Pete should tell me what’s wrong?”

Pete doesn’t move.

“And you think he should be able to watch Green Day videos on my laptop? I don’t know about that. I _know_ Billie doesn’t want him to be sad, I don’t either!” Michael sneaks a glance over at Pete and sees the corner of his mouth turning up in a little smile. “Wait a second, that’s a great idea Tyler!” Michael says, putting his arm around Pete and pulling him a little closer.

“Tyler thinks you should stay in my room tonight.” Michael says, rubbing his hand up and down the blanket covering Pete’s arm. “He says that you shouldn’t be alone when you’re sad, and that although he’s great company, he thinks I’d be even better.” Pete nods his head then, and Michael will take this small victory.

“Wanna take Tyler?” Pete nods again.

“Awesome.” He’s thinking of asking Pete to tell him what’s wrong, but he doesn’t want to start him crying again. His eyes are already red and puffy. Michael is about to stand up when Pete wraps both arms around Michael’s neck and squeezes him in a hug.

“Thanks, Mikey.”

“It’s okay, little dude.”

Movement from the doorway catches his eyes, and when he looks up he can see Calum standing there, leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded across his chest, looking at Michael and Pete. Michael feels a little embarrassed, because he’s not sure how much of that Calum saw, but at the same time he doesn’t care. At least the kid isn’t crying alone on the sofa.

“He okay?” Calum mouths, and Michael nods, rubbing Pete’s back before picking him up and carrying him to his room, Calum walking ahead of them.

When he lays Pete down on the bed, his eyes are already closed and his breathing evened out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I've been so shitty with updates, I suck, but I 100% blame college. College sucks more than I do.


	10. Part 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello yes the worlds shittiest updater is back. I am so sorry. I don't even have an excuse I just got tired with this and wanted to write something else. Also this chapter sucks so I apologize in advance. Don't hate me please  
> p.s it's arse o clock in the morning so i proof read it a little and by little i mean i scrolled through it reading random words so im sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Parent’s day isn’t half as bad as Michael originally thought it was going to be. Sure, he has to deal with a lot of posh, well manicured mothers and fathers with the keys to their Mercedes swinging off their fingers staring at him like some kind of sea creature they dragged from the bottom of the lake, but he also gets to meet some of the nicer ones. Specifically Anna’s (who he didn’t even know was in his cabin) parents who came up to him, patted his shoulder and told him that he’s “Anna’s favourite counselor” and should “keep up the good work”. His face goes bright red as he starts rambling on about how he’s not really doing anything that great, and he wants the room to swallow him whole when he can hear Luke chucking behind him.

Pete seems to be happy enough, which is a huge weight off Michael’s shoulders. That morning, he stayed under Michael’s duvet until Michael promised him he could borrow one of his t-shirts to wear for the rest of the day. Currently, he’s parading around with the older kids whose parents don’t come up, showing off the most graphic Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt Michael had and beaming at the compliments he gets.

Sarah sat across from Luke and Michael after she spotted Pete, about an hour after all the parent’s arrive so they’re basically off duty, dumped a plate of cookies and brownies, and a couple of cans of coke in front of them before heading back off and making sure all the adults.

“Perks of dating the chef’s favorite,” Luke said, eyes lighting up as he looked at the plate of goodies. Michael smiled, then, never getting tired of hearing how he and Luke are together,

So Michael’s feeling good. He doesn’t have to do much, just sit and relax and watch the kids excitedly show their parents pictures they painted and how many points their cabin has, and dragging them to meet their camp friends. Luke’s head is on his shoulders, his fingers running lightly against the waistband of his jeans, and Michael is so content he could probably fall asleep.

Calum is keeping him entertained, flirting (terribly) with someone’s older sister. Ashton is talking to someone’s parents and they seem to be loving him (of course they do), and Brendan is in a very deep conversation with Becky from his own cabin’s (very attractive, if Michael does say so) father. Jake is looking on from the side, shooting said father a death glare, and if looks could kill, Hot Dad would be six feet under by now. So Michael is quite happy to sit here, watching this mini soap opera and making comments under his breath to Luke.

“She looks like she’s about to give him a wallop,” Michael says, nodding at Calum who has one hand on the girl’s elbow. She’s smiling, but Michael knows that smile. He’s got it a lot of times. Granted, a lot of them were from straight boys he was drunk enough to hit on, but it’s still the universal symbol for ‘I’m too polite to tell you to fuck off but please realize how uncomfortable this is and leave me alone’.

“D’you think they know they like each other?” Luke asks, voice muffled by Michael’s hair.

“Who?” Michael asks, snuggling into Luke’s chest even more, and reveling in the way Luke’s arms instantly tighten around him.

“Brendan and Jake.” To emphasize his point, Luke points over in the general direction of said boys. Brendan throws his head back in laughter at something Hot Dad has said, and Michael can actually see Jake’s teeth grinding. He laughs quietly, watching Jake’s face go a little red, and then he looks at Brendan, who is not so subtly looking to see if Jake is watching him. It’s kind of cute.

“They definitely do,” Michael says.

“I don’t miss it,” Luke says, so quiet Michael almost doesn’t hear him.

“Miss what?”

Luke tightens his arms around Michael a little more. “I don’t know, just like… the dancing around, hating each other. Not knowing where we stood with each other. All that.”

“Well, we know now,” Michael says, planting a small kiss just under Luke’s ear, smiling when he feels Luke shiver. “You know,” Michael says, starting to nip at Luke’s neck. “There’s no one in either of our cabins. We could totally go back and..”

His sentence is cut short however when there’s a scream and a loud shout of “Oh, Michael, my baby!” Luke moves away from him so fast, it takes Michael a second to get his balance and he just regains it when someone is pulling him close and planting loud, sloppy kisses on the top of his head. It takes him a moment to realize that it’s his mother. Oh no, he thinks, because oh fucking no. The arms around his shoulders are getting tighter and the smell of Chanel no. 5 is filling his nostrils and his mom is muttering “Oh Michael baby I missed you,” in between the kisses she plants on his head.

“Mom,” he says, trying to push her away. “Mom. Hi, let me breathe please.”

“Sorry, sorry,” she says, stepping back, revealing Michael’s dad, standing there stony faced and looking bored, like he’d rather be anywhere else in the world.

“Mom, dad, you guys didn’t have to come all the way up here,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck and feeling his face going bright red. He can feel Luke shifting uncomfortably beside him, but he can’t even look at him to give him any kind of reassurance because he knows he himself looks a mess. It’d probably make Luke feel worse, so he keeps his eyes on his mother.  

“I told her that. I told her you weren’t six and could cope without us for a few weeks, but she insisted,” Daryl says. Michael sits frozen in seat, torn between subtly getting Luke to leave and running away himself. He knows what his parents are like, overbearing and nosy, and his mom is gonna want to know what he was doing with his face in Luke’s neck, and his dad’s probably gonna say something that will make him _and_ Luke feel terrible. He can almost feel his throat tightening, his chest sore.

“Mom, have you been talking to Sarah lately? She’s in the kitchen. I’m sure she’d love to see you..”

He’s cut off again when his mom gasps and says “You’re _not_ little Luke Hemmings are you?” Michael chances a glance at Luke then, his face as red as Michael knows his own is. He looks extremely uncomfortable, fiddling his fingers in his lap and trying to look anywhere but at Michael’s mother.

“Uh, yeah, that’s me?” He says, and Michael feels so guilty, even though he had no way of preparing Luke for this. He tries to send out “I’m sorry” telepathically, wants to grab Luke’s hand, squeeze his thigh, do _something_.

“My god, how you’ve grown! Daryl, do you remember Luke? Liz’s little boy? It’s been so long since we’ve seen you. You two used to be inseparable, I thought for years that I had two children instead of one.” She laughs, and it sets every nerve in Michael’s body on edge. He never told his mom exactly _why_ Luke stopped coming around after school, but he hasn’t said anything particularly friendly about him either.

“Hello, Luke,” Daryl says.

“I knew it was you. Still have the same big blue eyes.”

“Thanks?” Luke says, and Michael can feel his stare, almost begging Michael to help, but Michael doesn’t know what to do. Doesn’t know how to help because the two of them were literally thrown in at the deep end and right now, he feels like he’s drowning.

If it was just his mom, he could _maybe_ tell her about Luke being more than just a friend this time around, and how it’s still early but he knows Luke is going to be around for a long time. And she would accept it and give him a hug and tell him that she’s happy he’s found someone. And then she’d hug Luke and everything would be ok, and Michael’s heart could slow down from beating six hundred times a minute.

But his dad is here. Already eyeing Luke up suspiciously, looking between the two boys and drawing his own conclusions. He knows what his dad is like. Michael wanted to have Luke around as a friend first, so that Daryl wouldn’t make any snap decisions on how he feels about Luke purely because he’s dating his son. He wanted Daryl to get to know him, and get to like him before telling him that they’re a thing. Oh God, he’s going to throw up.

“….. had to take the day of work.” Michael is pulled out of his daze then by Luke tugging at his elbow and he realizes his mom is talking and he’s missed half of what she’s said. Luke is a little pale, his lip a little chewed, but he’s smiling. He’s so beautiful, Michael thinks, and all he wants to do is kiss his lips and tell him so, but he can’t. Not right now.

“Sorry, mom, I missed that.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she says, waving her hand. “I was just saying your dad isn’t too happy because he had to take the day off of work to come up.” Michael nods, just to let her know he caught it that time, but doesn’t know how to respond. It doesn’t seem to bother her that she’s the only one talking, because she starts telling Michael about their neighbor’s monstrous new dog that keeps jumping the fence and ruining her roses, and about his cousin’s new baby girl Susan or something.

He thinks he’ll get out of this unscathed, and his parents will drive home and he and Luke will go back to his cabin and he’ll tell Luke about how much his dad pisses him off with his judgy eyes and his mom’s incessant need to know everything drives him up the wall, and then Luke will kiss the anger (and teeny bit of embarrassment) away, and then maybe they’ll exchange blowjobs and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

But then he hears his mom saying “It’s so great that you two are friends again! Luke I never even knew that you worked here, Sarah mentioned a Luke once or twice on the phone but I never would have guessed it was you! Kind of like you two were meant to find each other again.”

Luke is practically beaming, his ten thousand watt smile blinding Michael and making his stomach turn. He knows what Luke wants to do; he wants to tell them, and he thinks Michael wants to tell them, too. As far as Luke knows, both his parents are one hundred percent on board with their son being gay, and that’s Michael’s fault. Michael isn’t ready to tell them, not yet. But he really doesn’t want to hurt Luke either. He wants Luke to know how much he cares about him and how he’s willing to invest himself in this relationship because he just knows that it’s going to work.

His mom is smiling at them, Luke is smiling at _him_ , but all he can feel is his dad’s stare, cold and hard.

“Actually, uhm Karen,” Luke says, and in his peripheral vision Michael can see Luke’s hand reaching for his own. Michael’s skin suddenly feels too hot and too cold and he wants to rip it off, bolt from the table and lock himself in his room until it’s time to go home. He can’t look at Luke, not now. He knows he has a smile on his face, so big and open that it’s going to tear Michael’s heart out. Because Michael can’t do this. Not right now. He can almost feel everyone else in the room staring at the four of them, waiting on something to happen.

He moves his hand out of Luke’s reach, tucking it in under a thigh. He wishes Luke would get the message, would just back off for five seconds so Michael can catch his breath, but then Luke’s hand is on his shoulder and he’s moved closer, his thigh pressed against Michael’s.

His dad is staring at them. Right at them. He’s nowhere near ready for this, not even a little. And not here, where there are innocent ears and filthy rich women looking for something to gossip about over coffee and French pastries.

He knows he shouldn’t care about what his dad thinks, should just say fuck it and tell them, tell everyone that they’re together, and it’s the happiest he’s ever been. But he can’t. He just _can’t._

“Yeah, haha,” he says, shrugging his arm out of Luke’s grip and sliding a little over on the bench. “Who would have thought we’d be friends again. Crazy, right?” His voice sounds, weird, high and squeaky. He turns his head to look at Luke then, and regrets it immediately, because the look on the younger boy’s face is like a kick in the gut. Luke is too good, too sweet to look like that, and Michael hates himself for putting the sadness in those usually happy eyes. He hasn’t seen that look on Luke’s face since the night the kissed in the kitchen.

His stomach feels sour and he wishes he could turn back time, just start this whole thing all over again, sit his parents down and tell them everything. Well, not everything, but the important stuff. He feels three sets of eyes on him, but only cares about one, and this time it’s not his dad’s. He keeps his own eyes on his clasped hands, willing for someone to speak, say something.

“I’m uh,” Luke says, standing up and backing away from the three Cliffords, staring at Michael’s messy green hair and willing himself not to cry. “I’m gonna go and see if Calum wants any help.” And then he turns on his heel and practically sprints off.

“Oh, Michael.” Karen says.

***

Two more hours, his parents stay for, and it’s the most agonizing two hours of his life. He walks them around the camp grounds, shows them his room, even introduces them to Pete who takes great pride in announcing himself as Michael’s best friend.

While walking the grounds, not once did he lay eyes on Luke. Even when they were in the dining hall, his mother talking with Sarah and picking at small, fancy sandwiches, he and his father sitting in an awkward silence, Luke was nowhere to be seen.

He knows he fucked up, and he hurt Luke a lot more than he ever intended to, but he hopes Luke will understand, will let him explain at least. He’s not going to blame the entire thing on his dad’s old fashioned views, but he’s going to try and get Luke to see it from his point of view. Show Luke that he wanted Luke to have a chance of being on his dad’s good side so when they finally told his parents, they’d already approve. He thinks his mom already knows, but she hasn’t said anything since Luke walked (ran, really) away, and Michael is more than grateful.

Before she leaves, she pulls Michael close against her. “I miss you at home.”

“I miss being home,” Michael answers truthfully, and wishes for the first time in a while that he was at home, wrapped in a blanket cocoon and playing his playstation – away from beautiful blond boys and adorable nine year olds and all this fucking nature. He feels fucking miserable.

“Luke seems like a nice boy,” she whispers in his ear when his dad gets into the car. “Fix it.” He gets one more kiss on the top of the head before she climbs in beside his dad, waving out the window as they drive away.

There’s a lump in his throat, and tears in his eyes, but he’s not going to cry.

***

He’s looked everywhere, and now he’s standing in front of Luke and Ashton’s cabin. He’s been standing outside for five minutes, afraid to knock on the door. He knows Luke is in there. He checked Brendan and Jake’s cabin, as well as his own (receiving a very dirty look from Calum when he was told that Luke wasn’t there), so there is nowhere else Luke can be.

He doesn’t get a chance to knock, because the next second, the door is being pulled open and a half naked Ashton is standing in front of him with a scowl on his face. “Are you going to come in or just stare at our door for another half an hour?”

“Uhm..” Michael answers, and it’s the first time he’s ever had trouble answering Ashton. He feels like such an idiot.

“Well?” Ashton spits, and Michael flinches. And yup, there are the tears, falling down his cheeks now. Of course Luke would have told everyone how much of an asshole Michael was being and everyone is going to be mad at him for hurting Luke and god, he hates this so fucking much. “Mike…” Ashton says, softly. “Shit, don’t cry. I just… Luke looked really sad earlier, and you weren’t with him so I guessed something happened. Please don’t cry.”

Ashton pulls him across the threshold and shuts the door behind him before pulling him in for a hug. Michael sniffles and wipes his eyes on his sweater sleeves, pulling out of the hug and willing himself to just stop fucking crying.

“Something did happen, didn’t it?” Ashton asks, grabbing an old AC/DC shirt off the sofa and pulling it on. Michael nods, looking down at his battered Converse and feeling about two feet tall.

“He’s in his room. Go talk to him.” Ashton says, before clapping him on the shoulder and walking into the kitchen.

***

“I don’t wanna see anyone,” Luke answers when Michael raps on his bedroom door. He’s never had to rap on Luke’s door, always just walked in. He can feel his heart breaking a little more every second.

“It’s me,” he croaks out, pushing down on the door handle.

“I don’t wanna see anyone. Especially not you,” Luke says again. Michael groans and rests his head against the wood. He’ll beg, if that’s what it takes to get Luke to talk to him.

“Luke, please. Just five minutes. Let me explain.” Luke remains silent, so Michael takes it as an invitation to enter the room, shutting the door softly after him and standing there awkwardly. Luke is sitting cross-legged on his bed, a battered copy of The Catcher in the Rye in his hands, eyes red rimmed and hair messed.

“I’m sorry,” are the first words out of Michael’s mouth, and Luke doesn’t even look up from his book. Just shakes his head and scoffs. “Luke, please talk to me. Say something.”

“Cause that’s what _friends_ do, right?” The words hit Michael like a ton of bricks, right in the chest. “They _talk_.”

“Luke, you don’t understand. My dad…”

“Don’t. Just stop, Michael.” Michael feels like he’s been thumped when Luke uses his full name. He still hasn’t looked up from that goddamn book, and now Michael feels angry as well as sad, and he’s not sure how much longer he can go before he explodes. He came here to apologize, to sort this mess out before it gets worse, but Luke isn’t even trying.

Michael stands awkwardly by the door as Luke continues to read. He wonders how Luke can even focus on the words when he can literally feel his own heart breaking.

“If this is about me not telling my parents, Luke, you have to understand. I _wanted_ to tell them, I did. But you don’t know my dad. He’s…. he’s just… not as open to the whole thing as my mom is. I wanted him to like you before I told him…”

“You’re nearly twenty, Michael. He’s knows you’re gay. He knows you’re gonna get a boyfriend,” Luke says, finally putting his book on the bed and looking up at Michael. Michael kind of wishes he didn’t because there’s hurt in his eyes that Michael is responsible for and he doesn’t like it.

“That doesn’t mean I have to shove it in his face. He’s my dad.”

“Yeah, and I’m your boyfriend, but you didn’t even acknowledge me!” Luke says, his voice rising and Michael has never seen him like this before. “I sat there like an idiot, waiting for you to even look at me in front of them and you didn’t! When your mom said she was glad we’re friends again, I thought you’d tell her then. She already knew and she didn’t care, couldn’t you see that?”

“My dad…”

“This has nothing to do with your dad, Michael! It’s you! Your dad would have gotten over it! Are you afraid that if you tell your parents that it’ll mean that we’re committed, will make it more real? And when we leave here you won’t be able to go back to hating me and forget this whole thing between us ever happened?”

“What are you talking about? That’s ridiculous and you fucking know it!” Michael shouts, almost hysterical, and the anger is starting to outweigh the sadness he feels. He doesn’t care if anyone can hear them. Let them fucking hear.

“Is that all I am to you?” Luke asks, mouth turned down in a frown. “A little camp boyfriend that you can drop after the eight weeks are finished? Just something to fuck while you’re away from home? Something to do to occupy your time here? I thought I meant something to you, Michael. I thought we meant something to each other.”

Tears are falling down Michael’s cheeks again, and they feel like acid leaving hot tracks in their wake. He’s not even sure when he started crying again. “Luke, please, are you even listening to yourself?” Michael asks, cringing when his voice cracks towards the end.

“Just explain to me why you didn’t tell them. And if you say your dad, Michael, I swear to God.” Luke’s voice is too flat, too emotionless and it’s literally tearing Michael apart.

“I..” Michael starts, but stops short because he has nothing to say. “I don’t know.”

Luke nods, picks his book up again and says nothing. Michael stays put for a few seconds, hoping Luke will say something, or that he’ll think of something. When it becomes clear that neither of them are going to say anything, Michael shakes his head and backs out the door, slamming it shut after him.

He bumps into Ashton in the hall, who immediately tries to pull him into a hug, but Michael struggles out of his grip, almost tripping over his own two feet in his haste to get away. “Michael, what happened?” Ashton says, grabbing hold of Michael’s wrist trying to make him stay.

Michael pulls himself free, wiping his face and trying to hide the tears from Ashton. “Nothing. I have to go,” he says, his throat sore and scratchy.

“Michael….” But Michael doesn’t want to listen, just runs back into his own cabin, past Calum on the sofa, and into his own room. He slams his door shut, slides down it and sits on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest as he cries into them.

He feels stupid. They’ve been going out for two goddamn weeks.

But that doesn’t matter, he thinks. He’s had these feeling for Luke for god knows how long. They were going to work, he knows they would have, and he fucked it up.

***

Later that night Michael finally moves from his spot in front of the door to crawl under his duvet. Ashton obviously told Calum what happened because not five minutes after he made it into his room, Calum was outside his door asking Michael to let him in. He came back after that with a plate of food, but Michael’s stomach was churning too much to even think about keeping it down.

So now he’s curled up under his duvet, Luke’s shirt pressed against his chest. It’s masochistic, he knows, but he can’t bring himself to let go of it. He thinks he’s cried himself dry, because as sad as he feels, no more tears are falling. His eyes just hurt, his chest hollow.

He watches the sun finally fall from the sky and lays in the darkness. Calum has all the kids in their beds and Michael’s a little relieved that he wasn’t needed. Especially on a day like today where they’re all hyper and not willing to cooperate. But they must have just dropped like flies because Michael didn’t hear anyone put up a fight.

There’s a knock on his door, quiet and tentative, and Michael is about to shout “fuck off Calum” when a small voice calls out “Mikey?”

He sits up and rubs a hand through his hair. “Come in, little dude.”

Pete comes into his room, a black bundle tucked under one arm and climbs onto the bed beside Michael. “You weren’t at supper, and I asked Calum if you were sick and he said you were sad.”

Michael smiles and ruffles Pete’s hair. “I’m okay now. Thanks for worrying.”

“When I was sad you said that having your shirt would make me feel better cause I could look at it and know that you’re my friend and that I’ll be ok. So I took this for you,” Pete says, handing the black bundle over to Michael. He sees that it’s the shirt he gave to Pete this morning but when he unfolds it, a ball of blue fluff falls out and Tyler stares up at him.

“Pete… Thanks,” Michael says, putting an arm around Pete’s shoulder and pulling him into a hug.

“Don’t be sad, Mikey,” Pete says against his collar bone, and he nods, feeling better already.

“Wanna watch a Metallica concert until we fall asleep?” Michael asks, and before he even finishes asking the question Pete is reaching under his bed for the laptop.

And that’s how he falls asleep. Pete laying on his chest, Tyler and Luke’s shirt clutched in one hand and James Hetfield screaming on his laptop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup. that's that. 
> 
> Come chat to me on tumblr - t1mburton - cause I have no friends on it and I'm sure we'd get on great :)


	11. Part 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so basically i'm trying to get this story finished as soon as I can cause there's another one I wanna get started on, and I know if I start it while this one is still on the go it'll never get finished cause i literally suck. Like i have everything bullet pointed and stuff for each chapter but like.... still gotta write it.  
> So here's another shitty chapter yay. Or nay. idk. 
> 
> and once again it's near 5am and i have kinda proofread it, so im sorry for any mistakes

He’s fine. Really, really fine. Great, even. Fantastic.

Except that’s a total fucking lie and he’s so far from okay he’s on like, another spectrum. He feels like absolute shit and knows he looks no better.  He’s wearing his sunglasses, hoping they conceal his red and tired eyes, and a snapback is placed strategically on his head to hide the greasy mess he wasn’t prepared to deal with this morning. He’s sitting with his back resting against one of the trees by the lake, one earphone in and sleeves rolled down over his hands as he stares at the white tip of his converse.

All morning, he’s had to sit and watch people run and jump into the lake, laughing and happy while he sits there bored and fucking miserable. He was told he could sit out the swimming, presumably (obviously) because of what happened last time, which has resulted in Spencer permanently standing on the grassy bank, eyes scanning the water and jumping at any loud shrieks or bursts of laughter, ready to jump in should anybody need him.

Michael is convinced the universe hates him, because Luke is here (duh, he fucking works here). But Luke is here, at the lake, and he’s half naked with beads of water glistening on his beautiful skin and Michael’s mouth is watering a little bit because the last time he saw that torso it was clenching underneath him, Luke writhing and – no. No.

So yeah, he’s really, really fine.

“You okay?” someone – Calum, he realises – asks as they sit down cross-legged in front of him. Through his darkened glasses he can still see the wary look on Calum’s face; like he’s afraid if he says one wrong word Michael will jump and rip his throat out with his teeth.

Michael pulls out the earphone and shoves it into the pocket of his hoody, smiling at Calum to show him how okay he is. It mustn’t come across as okay as Michael hoped because Calum kind of flinches before scooting on his ass closer to Michael and placing a lake damp hand on his elbow.

“Wanna talk about it?” Calum asks. “I _am_ a counsellor, after all.” Michael rolls his eyes and then remembers Calum can’t see them because of the sunglasses. So he shakes his head, and pulls his hoody in closer around him.

“Not a real counsellor,” Michael mumbles.

Calum’s mouth opens like he’s about to say something, but is cut off when a chirpy “Hey guys!” beats him to it. Ashton, in his curly-haired and dimpled glory, plops down on the grass beside them, almost in Michael’s lap. “What’re we talking about?”

“Discussing which tranquilizers would work best on you. How are you so goddamn happy all the time?” Michael replies. His voice is raw and hoarse, and it sounds like he smokes at least forty a day or something. Calum and Ashton shoot a look to each other which Michael misses because he’s messing with his shoelaces (totally not to keep his attention away from Luke. Who has just pulled himself out of the lake like some majestic water creature or something. What the fuck?).

“Nothing brings me down, amigo,” Ashton announces, laying down on the grass and crossing arms behind his head.

Calum chuckles. “Oh yeah? What about what happened between Katie and –“

“Alright, aright,” Ashton interjects. “We all have our kryptonite.”

“Anchovies on pizza,” Calum grimaces, face scrunched up in disgust.

“Beautiful blond boys,” Michael deadpans, unaware that he actually said that out loud until Calum rubs his arm again and Ashton is lifting his head off the grass, looking at him sympathetically.

“Mike...” Calum starts, but Michael just shakes his head to get him to stop talking.

“Forget I said anything,” Michael mumbles, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

“You know, Luke was pretty upset this morning,” Ashton says, pulling himself into a sitting position. “He...”

“Don’t,” Michael says, voice sharper than he intended it to be. The sadness he was feeling the night before is gone, and it’s replaced by anger. He’s angry at Luke. Luke is the one who shut Michael out. Who turned Michael away, gave up on them after one disagreement when all Michael wanted to do was fight for them. So Luke doesn’t get to be upset, not in Michael’s opinion. “I just,” Michael starts, voice softer this time. He feels bad for snapping, Ashton didn’t do anything. “I don’t really wanna hear about him right now.”

“Okay,” Calum says, squeezing Ashton’s shin and making him yelp when it looks like he’s about to say something. “How about when the kids are in bed we watch some gory as fuck horror movie?”

Michael nods and smiles at Calum. He loves him, he really does.

***

“You’re an idiot,” Ashton tells Luke after they step into the cabin and all the kids run upstairs to get dried off and dressed for dinner. “A really big idiot. I don’t know what happened with you and Clifford, but I _do_ know you’re an idiot.”

“Please call me an idiot again,” Luke says. “Makes me feel loads better.” His chest and throat are tight – have been since Michael walked out of his room. Since he _let_ Michael walk out of his room. He’s fucking miserable, feeling more and more like an asshole with every second that passes that he doesn’t talk to Michael.

Truth is, he freaked out. He wasn’t even a little prepared for the mix of feelings that occurred when Michael’s parents turned up. He went from nervous to scared to happy to ecstatic and then to sad in the space of five minutes. And now, all he can do is replay those horrible things he said to Michael and hate himself a little more.

He believed those things when he said them, is the thing which sickens him most. He should have known Michael wouldn’t be embarrassed just because he’s with Luke, wouldn’t fuck him around like that just for something to do. But he completely ignored Luke when his parents came, and Luke took it the wrong way. And the longer he sat in his room on his own thinking about it, the angrier he got, and snapped. Hell, if his own mother was the one to walk into his room when he was feeling like that he probably would have snapped at _her_.

“I’m not trying to make you feel better,” Ashton says flinging his bag on the sofa. “I’m letting you know you fucked up. And Michael is walking around like a kicked puppy and you should probably try and fix it.”

“I know, I know,” Luke says, eyes falling to the floor and shoulders falling forward. “I don’t even know where to start.” He can feel tears prickling the backs of his eyes, stinging his retinas and blurring his vision. The next thing he feels is two arms around his shoulders pulling him against a toned chest.

“You’re an idiot,” Ashton says, rubbing his hand up and down Luke’s back soothingly. “But sorry might be a good starting point.

***

Luke decides he’s going to say something to Michael at dinner.

He sees Michael walking into the dining hall with Pete clutching on to his left hand and Calum walking alongside on his right. He wants to do it when Michael is alone, so considers calling out to him to ask him to wait up but Michael could literally hang back, punch him and then walk on. Which he kind of deserves but doesn’t want to endure.

So he follows them down the path with Ashton chatting animatedly in his ear, and he’s not even hearing a word of it. Just thinking about Michael and Michael’s eyes and Michael’s lips and _Michael_.

“Dude,” Ashton says, punching him on the arm. “You look like you’re about to vomit.” Luke nods his head to tell Ashton wordlessly that yeah, he does feel like he’s gonna vomit.  Michael throws his head back in laughter at something Pete or Calum says, and Luke’s chest hurts at the sound of it.

When they make it into the dining hall Ashton immediately sits beside the other guys at their usual table. Luke gives it a quick scan, looking for Michael and puffs out a breath of air when he sees Michael up getting a drink at the drinks table. He doesn’t want to talk to Michael here and make a scene, but he supposes he could at least ask Michael to meet him later.

He comes face to face quicker than he expected when Michael turns around and almost walks straight into him, sloshing some of the juice in the cups he’s holding onto the floor. “Jesus Christ!” Michael exclaims. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there – Oh. It’s you.”

“Hey,” Luke says, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and playing with the ring he has there. Michael can’t take his eyes from it – where Luke’s lip is turning white, and then blooming colour when he lets it go.

“’lo.” Michael says, going to step around Luke and sit with Calum. Luke grabs his wrist, spilling more of the juice, intending on saying something, but he can’t even remember how to speak when Michael’s eyes meet his.

They stand staring at each other in silence for a few seconds, Michael’s mouth turned down in a frown and Luke’s open, like he’s waiting for something to come out. And it does. “It’s pizza for dinner.” He says, and mentally slaps himself in the face.  How is he so smooth?

“Yes,” Michael says, still just staring at Luke, facial expression not changing.

“You uh... you like pizza,” Luke mumbles, and his face actually feels like it’s about to burst into flames with how hot it feels.

“Yes,” Michael repeats.

Luke takes a deep breath. He’s going to do this. “Michael, we need to...”

“No, we don’t,” Michael interjects and shrugs past Luke, taking a seat next to Calum.

When Michael picks all the pineapple off of his pizza he looks at the sad little pile on the side of his plate and tries not to sigh too loud.

***

It’s raining. Pissing rain. And it hasn’t stopped for about four days. Michael guesses they were way too lucky with the weather that the good spell was gonna have to snap eventually. And it did. Four days ago. He’s going nuts.

There are only so many inside activities that 23 kids can be forced to do before they eventually start melting in boredom. And making friendship bracelets loses the appeal after about twenty minutes.

Yet here Michael is, twirling strands of black, blue and grey wool into some kind of braid thing that looks like a mess but he’s still a little proud of it. His own is coming on a little better than Brendan’s, whose ‘bracelet’ is just a tangle of knots.

“I can’t take much more of this,” Calum says, tossing his own green and black creation onto the table in front of him.

“Don’t be so sour,” Michael says, digging through the mess of beads and wool on the table and pulling out one of the bracelets he managed to finish. “Here. I made this for you. It’s blue. For our cabin.”

Calum covers his mouth with one of his hands, gasping and looking at the bracelet. “Oh, Michael,” he says. “I will treasure it for the rest of my life.” Michael chucks a ball of wool at him.

“Where’s mine?” Ashton asks.

“You’re the enemy,” Calum says. “You don’t get one. And it’s obvious that I’m his favourite anyway.”

“That’s not true,” Ashton huffs.

“Yes it is,” Michael says.

“Now who’s sour.” Ashton goes back to twirling the strands of wool together. His bracelets all have these intricate designs and strategically placed beads and if Michael’s being honest, he’s a little jealous.  

“Pete’s being really quiet,” Calum points out. “I thought with him being cooped up for almost a week he would have snapped.”

“I promised him I’d let him listen to Pantera if he behaved,” Michael says, trying to thread a bead on to one of the strands he’s working with. Right then there’s a crash and the unmistakable sound of hundreds of beads scattering across a wooden floor, followed by a quiet “oops”.

“I fucking jinxed it,” Calum says, putting his head on the table.  

“I dealt with the glue. You get the beads,” Michael says, cheering when he gets the bed to slip onto a thread. “Look!” he says, thrusting it in Ashton’s face. “I did it!”

Ashton rolls his eyes and laughs. “You sure did, Picasso.”

“I don’t think Picasso specialised in friendship bracelets but that you for the compliment.” Michael says, slipping another bead on and smiling proudly at it. And then he looks at Ashton’s and kind of wants to throw his own in the bin.

“So, uh,” Ashton starts, shoving the craft supplies to the side and clasping his hands on the table. “How’ve you... uh... how’ve you been?” Michael takes a quick glance around the room to make sure no one is listening. Pete and Calum are on their hands and knees gathering up the beads, and Brendan, Jake and Luke are sitting at one of the other tables. Brendan and Jake look to be in some debate (when are they not), and Luke just messes with a ball of coloured wool. Michael can’t look at him for too long.

“Honestly, pretty shitty. It’ been five days.” He looks down at his hands, picking at his nails. “I thought we would have made up by now.”

“He wants to talk to you. He keeps asking me how he should do it.” Michael’s heart does something funny then, and he nods his head to let Ashton know he heard him. He wants to talk to Luke, too. So bad it hurts.

“And uhm...” Michael brings his eyes up to look at Ashton. “How’s he doing?”

“Pretty shitty, too.” Michael brings his bottom lip in between his teeth and chews it nervously. All he wants to do right now is walk over and kiss Luke on his stupidly perfect mouth and hug him and take him back, but he also wants to punch his stupidly pretty mouth because it said some pretty stupid things. There’s so much conflict going on in his own head Michael is about to crack.

He swipes at his eyes when Calum sits back down beside him. “They’re gonna be sweeping up fucking beads for the nest fifty years. For god’s sake Ash,” he says, looking at Michael. “I’m gone for five minutes and you bum everyone out.”

“Nah,” Michael says, smiling. “I’m just really passionate about these bracelets and when they don’t work out I get a little emotional.”

Calum stares at him in silence for a few seconds before muttering “weirdo” and pulling a tub of beads towards him. “Help me with these little bastards will ya?”

***

It’s 3am. The grass Michael is sitting on is a little damp from the rain, but he needed to get out of the cabin, needed to be away from everyone for a while. The moon is bright, reflecting in the glittering water of the lake and casting a pale blue glow, lighting up the night. It looks beautiful, and Michael can’t bring himself to go back inside.

He crosses his legs underneath him and pulls the hood of his sweater up. The nights are already starting to get a little colder, even though it’s only the beginning of August. Three weeks from Monday all the kids are going home, and the day after that, so is Michael. He can’t believe how fast his time here went and as much as he complained about it, he’s really gonna miss it.

“You’re gonna catch a cold,” someone says behind him, and Michael was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t even hear them approaching.

“I’ll be fine,” he says, turning his head to see who’s intruding his personal time (at 3am, what the fuck?) and really, he should have known. “Oh, hi,” he says, turning back to face the lake.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” Luke asks, standing beside Michael.

“Nope,” Michael says, popping the ‘p’. “Just needed a moment to myself.”

“Michael, I think we should talk,” Luke says, doing that ~~completely adorable~~ dorky thing with his feet that makes Michael’s heart melt a little.

“I wanted to talk on Sunday. You shut me out.” And now his peaceful night is ruined.

“Mikey, please,” Luke says, and his voice is wavery and weird, but Michael isn’t doing this. Not again.

“Don’t ‘Mikey’ me. It’s 3 in the morning. We’re not doing this now.” Michael doesn’t make a move to stand up, and instead feels Luke sit beside him. “How did you know I was out here?”

“I didn’t. I came out for the same reason you did.”

They sit there, and it’s awkward and tense, but calming at the same time and Michael thinks that’s just because Luke is there, humming a Green Day song under his breath and playing with the drawstring on his sweatpants.

“I’m so sorry,” Luke blurts out, the sound of his voice cutting through the night like a knife. Michael looks down at his thighs, can feel the goddamn tears again.

“You should be. You were a dick,” Michael says, surprised at how steady his voice is.

“I know.” Michael sneaks a glance at Luke, and instantly wishes he didn’t. His hair is flat, and he’s lost inside a jumper that’s at least two sizes too big. He looks tiny, even though he’s over six foot. “I freaked out.”

“You can say that again.” Michael says.

“I just, with your parents. When you didn’t tell them -  I thought it was because you were embarrassed to be with me, or had no intentions of staying with me. I went off to give you space with them, I guess, and then the longer you were away the more I was thinking. And you know what that’s like. In my head, I was coming up with all these reasons why you didn’t wanna tell them we were dating. Like, I don’t know, maybe you were with me as some kind of joke or bet, something like that. Stupid, I know. But I got myself all worked up and I just – freaked. I never wanted to hurt you Michael. Not after how great you treated me.”

Tears are falling freely down Michael’s face now, and in the moonlight he can see the tracks on Luke’s cheeks his own tears have left. “That was pretty stupid.” Michael says, wiping at his eyes.

“I’ve never done anything like this before. A relationship, I mean. It’s harder than I thought.”

“My dad doesn’t like it,” Michael says.

“What?” Luke asks, turning to look at Michael.

“That I’m gay. He doesn’t like it.”

“But you said that he ...”

“He accepts it, Luke. He doesn’t _like_ it. He hardly talks to me anymore. Never stays in the same room as me when we’re alone. I didn’t want to tell them because I wanted to give you a chance first. If he knew we were together, he probably would have hated you straight away.” Michael feels Luke scoot closer, and then a head resting on his shoulder. He drops his head to rest on the top of Luke’s.

“I’m sorry, Michael. I didn’t know.”

“I’ve gotten over it,” Michael says. “I mean it would be nice to have a conversation with him once in a while, but I’ve got my mom so I’m okay. I think I could tell her that I want to be in a relationship with a watermelon and she’d support me.”

“A watermelon wouldn’t have made you feel as bad as I did. I didn’t know you’re dad thought like that, I just assumed...”

“You didn’t assume. I told you he was okay with it. I should have just told you straight out what he was like.” Luke wraps an arm around Michael’s waist as the two of them sit staring out at the lake, sweatpants soaked through and teeth chattering.

“People really suck,” Luke says.

“They really do. I think we should go inside, I’m freezing my balls off,” Michael says, pushing Luke off him so he can stand up. He brushes some blades of grass off his trousers before extending a hand to Luke, helping him stand up.

“So, we good?” Luke asks, standing awkwardly and scratching the back of his neck.

Michael nods. “We’re good.”

“And about the dating thing...” Michael’s stomach hurts because he doesn’t want to do what he’s thinking about, but he knows they probably should.

“Look, Luke,” he starts, and immediately Luke begins shaking his head.

“No, no. I know where this is going,” he says, and Michael’s heart literally cannot take anymore of this pain.

“Luke, we rushed into it last time. I think we should learn to be friends again before we’re boyfriends.” Luke sniffles, rubs his eyes with the sleeves of his jumper that cover his hands, and Michael pulls him into a hug. “It’s not a ‘no’, it’s a ‘not right now’.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Luke mumbles against his chest before pulling away. He stares at Michael for a few seconds and Michael thinks something is wrong before Luke tugs at his fringe. “What the...” He pushes Michael’s hood down, and a smile spreads across his face.

“You like it?” Michael asks.

“I can’t make out the exact colour, I just know it’s some kind of blue. And it’s beautiful.”

Michael blushes and can feel it going the whole way down his neck. “It’s turquoise. And thank you.”

***

Michael is awakened three hours later to screaming guitar and loud drums. He doesn’t even need to open his eyes to know that it’s Pete. And his suspicion is confirmed when he hears a whispered “Holy shit!” coming from the bottom of his bed.

“Oi, language,” he mumbles into his pillow, and hears a quick ‘sorry’ from Pete, and then Pete singing along to the lyrics of Bat Country which is actually quite impressive.

“As much as I love you waking me up at ungodly hours of the morning, you gotta stop sneaking into my room and stealing my laptop.” Michael says, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from the corner of his eye.

“It’s 8, you have to get up now anyway,” Pete says, lying on his stomach and kicking his legs in the air.

“That’s not the point,” Michael says, leaning to watch the concert over Pete’s shoulder. Pete takes his eyes from the screen for a second to look at Michael, and has to do a double take when he sees his hair.

“Wow,” he gasps. “I like it.”

Their morning is disrupted fifteen minutes later when Jake barges into Michael’s room to make sure Michael is awake because “goddamn Hemmings is still passed out and I am _not_ looking after all these kids by myself.”

“Nice hair,” he throws over his shoulder as he walks out of the room to let Michael get dressed, pulling Pete along with him.

***

Michael hates the Saturdays he has to work. This is only his third one, and he only has one left, but they still suck because they’re either incredibly boring or incredibly stressful i.e. arts and crafts. Today is boring.

Spencer has some kind of basketball tournament thing going on and the only rule is that you’re not allowed to hit anyone, so Michael, Jake and Luke are sitting on a bench watching kids run up and down the court while maybe bouncing the ball. And that’s if one of the really talented basketball players get the ball. No one has scored any points yet.

“I want alcohol,” Michael announces to no one in particular. “And a pizza from Lee’s. Or a Chinese. Or both. I want take out.”

“You’re such a whiner,” Luke says, chuckling.

“Says the biggest baby I know,” Michael says, resting his head on Luke’s shoulder. “I’m fucking exhausted, are you?”

“Okaaaaay,” Jake says. “I don’t need to know what sexcapades you two get up to, please save it for the bedroom.”

“You sure you don’t wanna hear how good Luke is at riding my-“ he receives a swift punch in the gut from Jake and an incredulous stare from Luke. “Jeez, take a joke you two. I was just asking if Luke was tired. Are you tired, Lucas?”

“I am pretty tired,” Luke agrees, resting his head back on top of Michael’s. “Let’s not stay up until after four when we have work at eight ever again.”

Someone scores a point, but they threw the ball into the wrong net, so there’s a fight breaking out in the middle of the court. Michael kicks Jake off the bench so he can go deal with it.

***

“So,” Ashton says, while he puts the bottle of vodka in behind the pipe in the press under the sink. “How’d it go?”

“Good,” Michael says. “We’re good. We’re gonna give being friends a shot before we jump back into a relationship.”

“Ah,” Ashton says, slamming the press door shut with his hip. “And how do you feel about that?”

“Not great, but I think it will do us good.” Michael says as pulls chips and candy out of the bags and leaves them on the counter for later.

“Calum rented Anchorman again,” Ashton informs him, and Michael swears under his breath for about ten minutes.

***

“Thanks for this,” Luke says, burrowing down further into Michael’s pillows. “If I had to watch Anchorman again I would have stabbed someone.”

“It’s cool,” Michael says, clicking on Donnie Darko and relaxing back with Luke as the opening credits roll up. “I didn’t wanna watch it either.”

Michael spends the entire movie fidgeting. No matter what way he lies he can feel Luke, warm and solid beside him and he doesn’t know what to do. His skin is itchy and hot – like it knows Luke is there and wants him, but doesn’t know it can’t have him.

“Are you okay?” Luke asks after Michael shuffles around on the bed for about the fiftieth time.

“I just can’t get comfortable,” Michael says, wiggling around again to prove his point.

“Here.” Luke extends his arm out, an obvious invitation, and Michael knows he should refuse, but he can’t. They’re friends. Friends can cuddle. So they do cuddle.

Michael lies back against Luke with his head on Luke’s chest and Luke’s arm wrapped around his back, and that’s how he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yup. sorry. 
> 
> also hey talk to me on my tumblr -> t1mburton 
> 
> ALSO this is completely irrelevant but guess what 19 year old finally ballsed up enough to get herself a piercing !!! me!!!


	12. Chapter 12

Being friends with Luke is a lot harder than Michael originally thought it would be. It’s just the little things Luke does – the playful fights he has with Ashton over what movie to watch, the way he always balls his sweater sleeves up in his hands when they’re too long, the way he fiddles with his lip ring, sucking it in between his teeth. It’s driving Michael mad because all he wants to do is hug and kiss and touch. But he can’t, and it’s his own fault for proposing this friends thing.

But they’re getting on well, just like they did when they were kids and Michael knows that although  it’s hard to restrain from kissing Luke every time the younger boys smiles at him or gives Michael some of the pepperoni from his pizza, it will be worth it in the end.

They work better together too, the constant urge to have Luke close aside. The bit of healthy competition between them is bringing them closer in some strange way. The kids are getting even more competitive too, what with the eight weeks coming to a close, and the points between the cabins pretty tight.

And before Michael even knows it, it’s his last week.

***

“This is so dangerous,” Michael says, trying to set up his bow and arrow. “Something could go wrong and someone could actually die. These things are used as weapons, Calum. _Weapons!_ ”

“Yeah,” Calum says, staring blankly at Michael. “But when they’re being used as weapons, they usually have metal points and _not_ suction cups on the end of them.”

“Look at the other end. It’s a really pointy stick, Cal. They could fly back the wrong way and someone could lose an eye.” Calum rolls his eyes, says something about needing tips and heads over to Ashton, who’s in the middle of teaching a little girl how to hold the arrow, aiming it at one of the plastic targets pinned to some of the trees.

Michael watches from the side, fiddling with the blue bandanna tied around his wrist. He’s eavesdropping, trying to get pointers from Ashton without Ashton knowing, because he’s done this a million times in video games, but he’s never actually held a real life one and he doesn’t want to make a fool out of himself. When the arrow flies from the girl’s bow and hits one of the targets with a loud smack, Michael decides that he can definitely do this, and aims his own arrow at the circular target.

He pulls back the elastic, aims and lets go. And the arrow falls to the ground one foot in front of him. “For fuck’s sake,” he mumbles under his breath. He bends forward to pick up his arrow when he hears someone chuckling behind him, and then feels a hard smack on his ass.

“Jesus Christ!” he exclaims when he stands back up to see Luke, clutching his stomach and laughing. “What was that for?” Michael asks, rubbing his ass and trying to make Luke feel bad by frowning. Which doesn’t seem to be working considering Luke is still laughing.

“Your ass is just irresistible.” Michael glowers at him, which doesn’t have much heat behind it because he is most definitely blushing, before trying to set up the arrow again, dropping it before he can even aim.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he mumbles. He’s glad they have some time to practice before they’re actually being marked. He’s sure if he’s still this shit when they’re competing his cabin will rebel against him and kick him out.

“You’re holding it wrong,” Luke says, suddenly closer.

Michael’s throat is dry, because Luke is wearing _that_ cologne and all he wants to do is shove his face into Luke’s neck and inhale until he dies. “Oh yeah?” he questions. “Well if you’re so good at this, show me.”

Luke takes the bow and arrow from Michael, aims and shoots. And it hits the red circle in the middle of the circle. “Mother of fuck.” Michael says, because of course Luke is amazing at archery.

“Want me to show you how to do it?” Luke throws over his shoulder as he walks off to pluck the arrow from the target.

“Nope. I was managing just fine before you came along.” Michael says as he takes the bow back from Luke, cursing as it slips through his fingers.

Luke giggles, actually giggles and then he’s behind Michael, pulling his arm up into position and showing him where to put his hand. “Hold it here, see,” he says, manoeuvring Michael’s fingers to where they’re supposed to be on the wood of the bow. He puts an arm around Michael’s back, grabbing the hand with the arrow in it. When he gets Michael into the proper stance, he doesn’t move away. Instead he tightens the hold he has on Michael’s hand, almost intertwining their fingers around the bow.

Michael’s skin is hot where Luke is pressed against him. He can feel Luke’s toned chest flush against his back. This is a totally normal thing for friends to do, he thinks, when he feels Luke’s breath against the back of his neck and wants nothing more than for Luke to press his lips _just there_. And it’s totally normal for him to shiver when Luke whispers “Now pull,”, pulling both his own and Michael’s hand back.

“Aim it,” Luke says, moving the whole thing a little to the left, lining it up with the target. “And, let go.” Michael releases his hold when Luke takes his hand from his, and his arrow flies forward, actually hitting the target this time. He’s still nowhere near the middle, but at least this time it actually hit the target, sticking to the white plastic.

“You’re a natural,” Luke says, his arms still around Michael, and Michael keeps his gaze locked on his arrow because he can’t look back at Luke, knows that the chances of doing or saying something stupid are extremely high.

“Uhh... thanks..... thanks Luke,” he stammers out and he has literally had Luke’s dick in his mouth, why is he acting like a twelve year old with a hopeless crush?

“My pleasure,” Luke says, his mouth dangerously close to Michael’s ear. He can feel the light stubble on Luke’s jaw gently scrape his cheek when he talks. God, he needs alcohol or something.

“Hate to interrupt this foreplay,” Ashton shouts over to them. “But we’re starting in five minutes.” Luke says something that Michael doesn’t hear to Ashton and moves his body away. Michael instantly misses the warmth of it.

“Think you can manage on your own, Mikey?” Luke says, smiling as he starts walking backwards to where the kids from his cabin have started to congregate, Ashton herding the last few in.

Michael’s brain is still a little fuzzy from the smell of Luke’s cologne, and from having him so close after so long apart, so he’s quite proud when three out of his five shots actually hit the targets, and he scores a whopping twenty points for his cabin. (Calum scored like, three hundred).

It’s not surprising really, that the red cabin come first. Luke is like some kind of Robin Hood. (And Michael definitely did not drool over the muscles in Luke’s arm that flexed beautifully every time he pulled back his arrow.)

***

“Tomorrow is our last Saturday,” Luke says, stretching across Michael and Ashton on the sofa, his ass planted firmly on Michael’s thighs. From the corner of his eye, Michael can see Brendan and Jake occupying one of the armchairs, and Calum is lying on the ground somewhere, music coming from his earphones.

“I can’t believe how fast this summer went,” Ashton says, laying his head back against the cushions. “Feels like only yesterday that we got here.”

Michael nods, more to himself than anyone else. “I’m actually surprised how little I want to leave. I mean, when I first got here I would have done anything to get home.” Luke throws his arm around the back of the sofa, and subsequently, around Michael, who does his best not to lean back into it.

“What are you three gonna do tomorrow?” Calum asks. “No point in going to town for beer or anything, we’re camping tomorrow night and Spencer has food and shit for Sunday.”

Michael scrunches up his face in confusion. “Wait, what? Camping?”

“You didn’t read the itinerary at all, did you?” Luke asks, and when Michael shakes his head Luke explains. “Every year, on the last Saturday night, we go camping. And by camping I mean we all sit around a bonfire, present the winning cabin with their awards and sleep in tents on the grass.”

“That sounds nice,” Michael says, voice shaking a bit when he feels Luke’s fingers twirling the hair at the base of his neck. “Do we actually have to sleep outside though?” No one answers, they all just stare at him. Calum even lifts his head from the floor and mutters a “Christ.”

***

It feels like he’s just closed his eyes when someone bursts into his room and pulls open his blind. He’s about to shout at Pete when his bed bounces as the intruder throws their body on top of it, and he notices they’re way too heavy to be nine years old.

“Michael,” Luke says gently, which doesn’t really make sense because he already barged in, making as much noise as a herd of elephants. “Mikey, you awake?”

Michael burrows down under his duvet, huffing out a “no, fuck off”, and shutting his eyes tight, hoping that Luke will get the message and leave.

“C’mon. It’s our last Saturday and you’re not wasting it in bed. The sun is shining, birds are singing. Get up.”

“The sun burns me and I hate birds,” Michael murmurs, voice muffled by the fabric of the duvet. His face is getting a little hot, and he would like to breathe, but he’s not getting out of his bed.

“C’mon,” Luke says, poking at the lump under the duvet. Michael groans, trying to get away from Luke’s pestering, but it doesn’t work. Luke has him out of the bed in two minutes.

“We’re going on an adventure,” he says when Michael is sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Dress comfortable.”

Michael groans extra loud to let Luke know just how pissed off he is and flops backwards onto the bed.

***

“No,” Michael says, crossing his arms across his chest. “No fucking way.” Luke had lead him to the bottom of one of the hiking trails, little smile on his lips.  

“Michael, please. Do this for me?”

“No. And where’s Jake?”

Luke gets a little flustered then, muttering something about him wanting to spend the day with the kids or something. Michael doesn’t believe it for a second. “It won’t be that bad.”

“It will. I thought I had finished my last hike. Don’t make me do this.” Luke sticks out his bottom lip, looking at Michael with big blue eyes. But Michael isn’t going to crack. He’s not going to climb the goddamn mountain again.

“Pweeease?” Luke asks, and Michael wants to kiss him but also kick him in the shin because Luke literally has him wrapped around his finger and he can’t say no.

“Fine. But I hate you,” he says, walking past Luke and starting up the path.

“No you don’t,” Luke says smiling and jogging after him to catch up.

***

Michael should have known, really.

He recognised where they’re going the second Luke pulled the branches aside for Michael to step on to the little dirt path. Luke’s been jittery and awkward since they started walking, leaving his hand on Michael’s elbow a little longer than necessary after saving him from a slip, or wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him upright when he’s about to pass out. But Michael’s holding out a lot better than he did at the start of camp; he only had to stop once, and he’s feeling quite proud if himself.

The tension between them is electric, and Michael feels jittery and weird. Luke’s making awkward small talk, asking Michael about his dog and talking about the weather. It’s forced, but not uncomfortable. Michael realises that this is the longest they’ve been alone together since the break up (if that’s what it was), and he automatically feels a little weirder, longs for Ashton and his ability to talk non-stop.

When Michael hears the running water he feels nervous. He knows Luke is talking him down to the waterfall, the little nook where they sat and made out. That day that seems to have happened so long ago, and sadness seeps through Michael’s veins. He does his best to not sigh.

“Know where we are?” Luke asks, holding his hand out for Michael to take so he can help him down to the edge.

“Yeah,” Michael says, grabbing Luke’s hand. He doesn’t say anything when he feels Luke squeezing it extra tight.

***

They sit on the flat rocks in silence, Michael just watching the water froth as it crashes against the rocks at the bottom of the waterfall. It’s awkward between them, and it hasn’t felt this way in so long. He knows something is going to happen, knows by the way Luke keeps looking at him, shirting his eyes away when he sees Michael looking. Knows by the way Luke can’t seem to keep still, messing with the hem of his t-shirt or bouncing his leg.

Michael wants to say something, to try and cut some of this tension because it’s suffocating and he can’t breathe. He has butterflies in his stomach and his hands are clammy, but Luke looks like he’s about to pass out, gnawing on his bottom lip and gripping the edge of the rock like it’s the only thing keeping him grounded. Which, it probably is. He looks like one unexpected noise could spook him, and it’s making Michael nervous.

“So,” Luke says out of nowhere and Michael jumps a little bit. “How are you?”

Michael looks at him for a second, and his composure crumbles a little when he sees Luke, because Luke is staring at him with such intensity, like the fate of the world rests on Michael’s answer.

“I’m fine?” Michael says, unsure of where this conversation is going. “And you?”

“I’ve been better,” Luke says, crossing his legs on the rock and facing Michael, his finger messing with the hole in the knee of his jeans.

“Oh? What’s up?” Michael asks, knowing the answer.

“You.” He tries to hide the surprised gasp, he does, but it slips out. He has to look away from Luke, his heart beating so fast it’s about to break out of his ribcage. He feels nauseous, but in a good way, excitement and nerves coiling in his stomach.  

“What about me?” he asks the water, his eyes following a twig that’s floating along the surface.

“Mikey..” Luke says, and Michael scrunches his eyes shut, tries to slow down his heart rate and coax his lungs into working again. “Michael, I miss you.” Luke’s voice is gentle, timid, kind of like he’s bracing himself for Michael to turn around and take a swing at him.

There’s a lump in Michael’s throat, his ears ringing. He clenches his fists hard enough that his nails bite into his palm. “I’m right here,” he says, coloured spots forming behind his shut eyelids.

He hears Luke take a deep breath, getting ready to speak. “I miss being with you.” Michael wants to scream, wants to scream at Luke that he misses being with him too, but his body is numb. He feels like he’s been pumped full of Novocaine, while the butterflies in his stomach have been taking ecstasy.

He nods and opens his eyes slowly, his vision taking a couple of seconds to come back.

“I miss being your boyfriend, Michael. I know I was a shit one, but if you let me, I’ll try so fucking hard this time around. I just can’t stand the thought of leaving here and still having this hanging between us. I know I was stupid, and I probably don’t deserve another chance, but I’m asking for one anyway. Just one. I’ll get on my knees and beg if I have to. And if I ever fuck up that bad again you can dump my ass and never see me again, but please just give me one more chance to show you how much you mean to me.”

Michael can’t look at him because if the expression on Luke’s face matches the tone of his voice, he might actually cry. “You planned all this, didn’t you?”

“Huh?”

“You planned to take me back here. Just the two of us. To do this here.” He looks at Luke then, for the first time since they started talking. Luke looks a little guilty, so Michael sends him what he hopes is a reassuring smile.

“Yeah,” Luke admits. “I even paid Jake to spend the day on his own and ran that speech past Ashton.” Luke looks terrified, and Michael feels a little bad for his bottom lip that has to be bitten raw at this stage.

“Okay,” Michael says, his heart speeding up even more, and his head is fuzzy. Alcohol has never made him feel like this. Not even weed makes him feel this high.

“Okay?”

“Okay. I mean, I miss being your boyfriend too.” Luke’s eyes widen, his face splitting into a grin. “But Luke, we’re gonna fight. I’m gonna say shit to annoy you, and you’re gonna grate on every one of my nerves. It happens. Just, next time, talk to me about it.”

“Of course,” Luke says, moving closer to Michael and holding his arms open. Michael smiles and throws himself into Luke, knocking the breath out of him. When Luke’s arms are around him, holding him tight, it’s like every bad feeling in Michael’s body vanishes, and he wonders how he went so long without Luke’s touch.

“I’m sorry for being a dick, but I promise I’ll do it right this time,” Luke says, cupping Michael’s jaw and rubbing his cheek with his thumb. Michael closes his eyes, leans into Luke’s hand.

“God, I missed you,” Michael says, squeezing his arms tighter around Luke’s waist.

Luke smirks. “Just Luke will do,” he says and Michael groans.

“I should have known you’d ruin our beautiful moment with one of your terrible jokes.” Luke hums, pulls Michael closer against him and before Michael is even aware of what’s going on, he and Luke are kissing. Michael’s brain takes a moment to catch up, but when it does he fists his hands in the front of Luke’s shirt and kisses back, puts everything he can into it.

It’s like every nerve in Michael’s body catches fire, all screaming “lukelukeluke”. He practically melts into Luke’s arms, trusting Luke to hold him up more than he trusts himself because his bones have turned to mush. He feels Luke’s teeth nipping at his bottom lip, a tongue sweeping over it after and soothing the sting.

He moves one hand from Luke’s t-shirt to the back of his neck, pulling them tighter together, and he can feel Luke smiling against his lips. It makes Michael smile, and he cringes when it results in their teeth clashing uncomfortable together. Luke doesn’t seem to care, just chuckles and goes back to nipping and sucking at Michael’s lips.

“You love my terrible jokes,” Luke breathes out when they eventually pull apart for air.

Michael smiles, resting his forehead against Luke’s. “I really, really don’t.”

***

When they make it back to camp, everyone seems to be out by the lake. Some of the kids are carrying bundles of little sticks and dumping them onto the large pile that’s sitting in a circle of small rocks, dragging out camping equipment or sitting talking excitedly on the grass.

 Luke makes a move to pull his hand from Michael’s grip, but Michael just tightens the hold he has on it. Luke sends him a confused look, but Michael just smiles up at him, and something rushes through him when Luke grins back at him.

Off from the makeshift campsite, Sarah and Spencer are fiddling with the barbeque, tools and instruction sheets scattered around them. Michael considers offering to help them, but then realises he knows literally nothing about barbeques. Or tools.

“Guess who!” someone shouts as they cover Michael’s eyes with their hands. Michael doesn’t even need to guess. He hears Luke giggling beside him as he tries to struggle out of Calum’s hold.

“Get off,” Michael says, pulling at Calum’s hands and trying to wriggle out of his grip.

“You’re so boring,” Calum says and jumps on Ashton’s back, who Michael didn’t even notice was there. Ashton does a weird shuffle to get Calum into a proper position before gripping his thighs and holding him up.

“So,” Ashton says, smirking at the clasped hands Luke and Michael have swinging between them. “How’d it go?”

“Good,” Michael says, wrapping his arm around Luke’s shoulder, pulling Luke’s arm across his own chest and smiling brightly at Ashton. “Great, really.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uhm.... yeah. That's that. This is the second last chapter and I'm actually surprised I made it this far cause I'm the worst for abandoning writing when it gets on my nerves but yeah. 
> 
> also talk to me on tumblr (t1mburton) cause all of y'all are super nice (like some of your comments legitimately make my heart cry ily)


	13. Part 13

By the time the sun has set, the bonfire is roaring and the smell of barbequed meat is hanging in the air. Luke is sitting on one of the big logs surrounding the bon fire, legs spread wide as Michael rests between them, leaning back and enjoying the feeling of Luke’s fingers softly sliding through his hair. The heat from the fire is warm and comfortable against his face, and his stomach is full. He could easily fall asleep, especially if Luke keeps scratching behind his ear like that.

“Honestly,” Luke says from somewhere up above him. Michael is too blissed out to look up at him. “You’re like a cat or something.” Almost as if to emphasise his point Luke gives another scratch to the top of Michael’s head and it takes all he has not to throw his head back and moan.

Around him he can hear the excited chatter of the kids, excited by the prospect of spending the night outside and the quiet murmur of the older counsellors. Pete is lying out on the grass next to him, Michael’s earphones strategically hidden with his hood. Michael can faintly make out the tune to Welcome to the Black Parade and smiles, resting his head against the inside of Luke’s thigh.

“So what are you all planning to do when we go back to the real world?” Ashton asks. There’s a collective groan from everyone and Michael thinks he hears Calum mutters ‘ugh, fuck off!’ “Hey,” Ashton defends, holding his hands up in surrender. “I was just wondering.”

“I’m starting uni,” Luke says, with a sigh, twirling Michael’s fringe through his fingers. “Sydney University. Music.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Michael says, jumping from between Luke’s thighs and kneeling to face him. “Are you really going to college there?”

“Yeah?” Luke answers, but it sounds more like a question. “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing,” Michael says, face splitting into a grin. “It’s just, that’s where I’m going! I’m studying art, but whatever.”

“Seriously?” Luke asks, and when Michael nods, Luke throws his head back and laughs. “Shit, that’s crazy!”

Luke smiles and pats his thigh, holds his arms open, and Michael pulls himself off the ground and sits on Luke’s lap, throws his arms around his neck and tucks his face into the side of Luke’s neck. He hums a little when Luke’s arms tighten around his waist, holding him in place.

“I got a football scholarship. In Perth,” Calum says, poking at the bonfire with a stick. “Mom’s been crying since I got my acceptance letter. I mean, it’s gonna suck leaving and I’m gonna miss home, but I can’t wait to get out there you know?”

It’s goes quiet, the only sound the distant chatter of the kids and the crackling of the dry wood in the fire. Luke’s hand creeps up the back of Michael’s shirt and rubs circles on warm skin, and Michael would give literally anything to spend another week here, curled up with Luke and listening to Calum and Ashton bicker over everything.

***

“Luke...” Michael breathes out, his lips still millimetres away from Luke’s. Luke just hums in response, tightens his fingers through Michael’s hair and brings their lips together again, licking along Michael’s bottom lip and making him shiver. Michael’s t-shirt is starting to get a little damp with sweat – the heat of the fire is directly on his back, and Luke has his arms wrapped so tight around him he can’t move.

Someone flicks Michael’s ear, and Michael opens his eyes long enough to see Calum standing over him, hands resting on his hips in a way that reminds Michael of his mother. “You know, there are kids running around. Keep it PG, yeah?”

Luke gives Calum the finger before shoving his hand back up Michael’s shirt and scratching at his back lightly. Michael has to shove his face into Luke’s neck to muffle the noises he’s afraid of making.

“You guys,” Calum groans out. “There are kids running around. And I don’t wanna see that shit either.”

“You know,” Luke whispers into Michael’s ear before nipping on his earlobe. “My cabin is empty, your cabin is empty, maybe we could...” Before Luke even has time to finish his sentence, Michael is pulling himself from Luke’s lap, grabbing his wrist and leading him towards the cabins. He can faintly make out Calum shouting something like “The points, guys!” but Michael’s heart is beating so loud he can’t really hear over it.

***

The second they make it through the front door of the cabin Michael shares with Calum, Luke has his hands on Michael’s waist, holding on so tightly Michael knows there are going to be marks. “Need you,” Luke breathes put against Michael’s neck before biting down hard enough to make him squirm a little. “Need you now.”

Michael throws his head back, giving Luke better access to the soft skin of his throat. “My room, we gotta go to my room. Calum would kill the both of us if we had sex on the sofa.”  Luke just nods, his soft hair tickling Michael’s jaw before he moves away and starts walking in the direction of Michael’s room, not even turning to see if Michael is following.

When they’re finally on the bedroom, Michael can practically feel the tension in the atmosphere. All they’ve done so far is kiss but Luke already looks ruined – his hair is sticking up in every direction and his eyes are blown, blue almost completely swallowed by black. His face is red, his bottom lip bleeding a little bit. Michael isn’t sure whether he bit it too hard, or Luke did it himself.

Before he has too much time to think, Luke has his arms back around his waist, pulling Michael close against him until their chests are flush. Michael moves his hands to the back of Luke’s neck, pulls Luke down until their mouths are meeting again.

Michael loves this; loves kissing Luke, feeling Luke’s hands running all over him, Luke holding him close. Not even in a sexual way, just a reassuring way, so that he knows Luke is _there_. He almost tells Luke all this but doesn’t get a chance because when he opens his mouth to do so, Luke slips his tongue in past Michael’s lips and effectively turns his brain to jelly.

And there’s a word that’s always been at the front of Michael’s mind but never really pushed trough regarding Luke – love. The realisation scares him a little, nearly knocks him over. Luke seems to realize something has changed because he stops kissing Michael, steps back and looks at him, the lust in his eyes replaced with something that looks too much like worry for Michael’s comfort.

He loves Luke. It may be a bit too soon to tell him, but Michael is sure that he loves Luke. Fuck, he may have loved him since he was a scared and confused thirteen year old. The recognition almost makes him laugh, and he wonders how he kept it from himself for so long, but now that he knows, it seems all too obvious. How painful it was when Luke was upset with him, how hard it was to be around him and not allowed to hold him, how being back in his arms felt too much like coming home for it to have been anything else other than love.

“Michael,” Luke says, moving a hand from Michael’s waist up to cup his cheek, his thumb rubbing soothing crescents underneath his eye. “What is it, baby? Are you okay?” Michael nods, loves the feeling of Luke’s soft palm against his stubble.

He moves forward and wraps his arms around Luke’s middle and rests his head on Luke’s chest. Luke’s arms seem to hang in the air for a second before they finally wrap around Michael’s shoulders. He kisses the top of Michael’s head before nuzzling his nose in the soft turquoise. “You’re scaring me a little bit,” Luke says with a small chuckle, gently swaying Michael from side to side.

“It’s nothing,” Michael mumbles into Luke’s shirt.

Luke looks down at Michael, lifts his chin up. “Are you sure?”

Michael nods again and smiles, which seems to relax Luke slightly. “I want to have sex with you,” Michael says. He’s not sure where it comes from, but the words slip out before he has a second to stop them. Maybe it’s the way Luke’s looking at him, or the semi in his jeans, he’s not sure. He _is_ sure that sex with Luke is something he wants very much.

“I thought that was where this was going? Before you went all weird on me anyway.”

“No, Luke,” Michael states. “I wanna have _sex_ sex with you. I want you to fuck me.”

Luke stands there for a moment, looking at Michael like he can’t believe he’s real. Michael’s stomach starts to feel a little sick when Luke doesn’t answer, just stands there opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to, I totally understand,” Michael rushes out. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this, we can totally just exchange blow jobs I honestly...”

He’s surprised to feel Luke’s lips against his own again, hot and frantic. “Are you sure?” Luke asks, when they break apart for air. “Are you sure you wanna do this?”

“Yeah,” Michael pants out, hot breath tickling Luke’s neck. “Of course.”

“Do you have stuff? I don’t, I never thought I’d need it.” Luke blushes at the confession, sucking his kiss swollen lip in between his teeth.

“I do,” Michael says. When Luke gives him a quizzical look followed by a smirk, Michael throws his hands up in defence. “I bought it one of the days we went into town. I wasn’t expecting anything, I just thought it would be good to have it. Just in case.”

They kiss again, hard and slow and Luke moves Michael in a way which bumps their clothed crotches together and Michael smiles when he feels Luke’s erection straining against his skinny jeans.

“Bed,” Michael says against Luke’s lips. “Now.”

Luke complies, peeling himself from Michael, and Michael heads to his suitcase in the corner of his room. He rummages to the bottom until he finds the small paper pharmacy bag, dumping the contents onto his clothes and ripping open the condom box.

When he finally gets a condom ripped free, he turns back to the bed. His breath catches in his throat when he sees Luke spread out, skinny jeans discarded on the floor and hand down the front of his boxers.

“Hurry up,” Luke grits out when he sees Michael looking at him.

“Eager, are we?” Michael asks and laughs when Luke uses his free hand to give him the finger.

The closer he gets to the bed, the more nervous he gets. This is big. This is Luke’s first time, _they’re_ first time. But it’s good nerves – like the kind of nerves he used to get on Christmas morning, or when he was getting his piercing. Luke looks almost ethereal lying in the middle of Michael’s bed, long legs and broad shoulders filling out the bed so well. Michael wants this image ingrained in his brain forever.

He shimmies out of his own jeans before climbing over Luke, a knee each side of his hips and bows down to kiss him, soft and gently. “Want me to suck you off?” Michael asks, and is a little shocked when Luke starts shaking his head no.

“Won’t last,” is all Luke says before kissing Michael again, fisting his hand in the front of Michael’s shirt and keeping them as close as possible. Michael grinds down, feeling heat bloom in his abdomen when their cocks align. Luke bucks underneath him, before hooking a leg behind Michael’s thigh and switching their positions.

Michael feels Luke’s fingers at the waistband of his underwear, tugging them down, so he raises his hips off the mattress to help. He can’t help but flinch a little when the cold air touches his cock and it flops back against his stomach.

“Mikey..” Luke breathes out, and his eyes look big and watery. “I have no idea what to do. I mean, I know how it works, I just don’t know..”

“Luke, it’s okay,” Michael says, handing Luke the bottle of lube that he threw onto the pillow. “I’ll help, okay?” Luke nods, but still looks a little sheepish, messing with the bottle in his hand. “Baby, it’ll be great, I promise. Just put some of that on your fingers, okay? A lot, actually. I haven’t done this in a while.”

Luke squirts some of the liquid on his fingers, spreading it around a bit before looking back at Michael. He looks a little dazed, so Michael attaches their lips again and pulls Luke down so he’s laying on his side beside Michael. Michael bends his knees and takes Luke’s wrist, guides it down until it’s resting against his abdomen. “Are you sure you want this?” he asks. “You can still say no, I won’t be mad. I promise.”

“I want this,” Luke says, moving his hand lower again.

“It’s gonna feel a little weird at first,” Michael says when he feels Luke’s first finger against his hole. “Just push past the resistance.”

Luke looks at him for a moment. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You won’t. As soon as the first one’s in, you’ll get the hang of it.” Luke’s movements are a little clumsy, but the second his finger slides in as far as the second knuckle, Michael lets out a moan that seems to spur Luke on because he starts moving that finger in and out, going a little deeper with each thrust.

“That’s good,” Michael pants out. “You can add another.” Luke does, his second finger sliding in alongside the first and Michael is trying hard not to push back, to let Luke get used to this and take it at his own pace.

“How does it feel?” Luke asks, and he sounds a little concerned but also curios.

“Good, really good. Scissor them a little so that..” Luke follows Michael’s directions and Michael can’t help but thrust up, almost wishing the air would thicken and give him a little bit of relief.

“Last one, Luke,” Michael says. The third finger always burns a little bit more, but Michael takes it. Luke’s long fingers are working inside him, and when they bump against his prostate he screams, throws his head back against the pillows and pushes down on Luke’s fingers.

“Shit, Michael,” Luke says, and searches for that spot again, smug smile on his face when he finds it and Michael practically whimpers.

“Luke, you gotta fuck me now, otherwise I’m gonna come.” Luke nods, pulling his fingers from Michael who hisses at the loss of contact and kneels beside him, ripping open a condom and rolling it on. (He’s a little thankful for that sex ed class back in year twelve that he snickered at at the time.) He smears more lube over his cock before looking back at Michael, who’s already looking at him.

“What way do we..”

“On all fours is easier, but I want to see your face. Wanna kiss you” Michael says, opening his legs wider so Luke can fit between them. Luke’s stomach is twisting at the seriousness of what he’s about to do. He’s about to have sex, actual sex, with Michael.

“It’s okay,” Michael says, almost reading Luke’s mind. “I’m nervous too.” Luke plants his hands next to Michael head and lowers himself down so they can kiss, Michael’s lips as soft and warm as always.

He feels Michael’s hand on his cock then, guiding it towards his hole. All Luke has to do is push and he’ll be inside Michael. It’s all a little surreal, but he moves his hips in shallow little thrusts, lips never leaving Michael’s as he goes deeper. And soon, he’s bottomed out, resting his forehead against Michael’s and just breathing because he’s never felt anything like this before in his life.

Luke looks like he’s barely holding it together, and Michael understands. The first time feeling that tight heat, feeling this connected to someone can be overwhelming, so he grabs Luke’s hand in his own and intertwines their fingers, brings Luke’s hand to his mouth to kiss the knuckles. To let him know that he’s right there with him, and this feels just as intense for him. “How you holding out?” he asks, trying to get used to the feeling of Luke buried deep inside of him.

“Jesus Christ,” is all Luke can say, and Michael understands. He waits another minute before telling Luke to move, giving them both a chance to catch up to where they’re at and make this last a little bit longer.

Luke’s thrusts are slow and hard, and more often than not he brushes against Michael’s prostate, causing him to moan and scream until his throat is raw. Michael’s hair is clumped against his forehead, and his feet keep slipping on the soft bed covers so he lifts his legs and wraps them around Luke’s waist. The new position allows Luke to thrust deeper, and all too soon, Michael can feel his stomach clenching, has black spots dancing in front of his vision.

“Luke,” he groans, lifting his hips to meet Luke’s movements. “Luke, baby, I’m close.”

Luke buries hi face in Michael’s neck, sucking a mark right under his ear and reaches a hand down to wrap around Michael’s cock. The extra stimulation is driving him crazy, and it only takes a few more thrusts for him to come with a scream of Luke’s name.

He can feel Luke start to pull out, so Michael clenches around him, tries to tell him that it’s okay to keep going. Luke gets the message, and keeps moving until Michael feels him tense up and empty into the condom.

Eventually they have to move, and Luke walks into the bathroom to get a damp cloth to clean them both up.

“Think we should get dressed and head back out to the others?” Luke asks. Michael doesn’t answer, just climbs under the duvet and holds it back for Luke to climb in beside him.

“So that’s sex,” Luke says, when they’re under the blanket and Michael is resting on his chest.

“That’s sex,” Michael agrees, allowing his eyes to slip shut.

Luke runs his fingers through Michael’s hair, scratches lightly at the back of his neck. “Michael?” Luke asks, and he sounds nervous. Michael can almost hear him biting his lip.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” Michael turns his head so his eyes meet Luke’s, and Luke’s hand moves from his neck to his shoulder.

“I love you,” Michael says. And it doesn’t seem too fast. Not to him anyway. This seems like the perfect time to say it, in this room where they made up all those weeks ago and kissed and cuddled and watched movies. Where they made love for the first time. “You don’t have to say it back. You don’t even have to love me. But I love you, and I just wanted to tell you.”

“Hey, Michael?”

“Yeah?” Michael whispers, gripping Luke’s t-shirt.

“I love you, too.”

***

The next morning, Calum made sure to tell Michael just how upset he was that he lost the trophy to Jake and Brendan.

Michael just laughed and promised that next year they’d win.

***

“And you have to call me every day. Or facetime or whatever,” Luke says from where his face is buried in Michael’s chest.

“This is ridiculous,” Michael says with a small chuckle, removing his hand from Luke’s waist to pat his hair.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Luke exclaims, tightening his arms around Michael. “So fucking much.”

“Luke, we live like, ten minutes away from each other.”

“’s not the point.”

“You lovebirds doing okay?” Ashton asks, dropping his suitcase beside Luke’s while he waits for his ride home.

“Luke’s being a giant sap,” Michael says, but still refuses to let go of his boyfriend.

“Michael is being an emotionless twat,” Luke grumbles from somewhere under Michael’s chin.

Ashton giggles and pushes some stray curls back under his bandana. “Here,” he says, holding a slip of paper out to Michael. “Everyone’s numbers. Keep in touch, yeah?”

“Of course,” Michael says, sliding the piece of paper in his pocket next to the one that’s already there with Pete’s home telephone and email address scratched onto it. (“You have to call me all the time because you’re my best friend,” Pete had said before giving him a hug and running off to his parents. Michael most definitely did not tear up and Luke did not have to hug him for a good twenty minutes.)

“Mike, I think this is your mom,” Luke says, and he sounds really pissed off. Michael has to laugh.

“You think you can let go?”

“Never.” When Ashton finally manages to pry Luke from Michael, Michael starts loading his bags into the trunk of the car, shooing off his mom when she tries to help.

“So, bye,” Michael says to Luke when the last of his suitcases is put away.

“Bye,” Luke mumbles, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Oh c’mon. Don’t look like that. I totally expect you to call over when you get home and help me unpack. There’s eight weeks worth of clothes in there.”

“Yeah,” Luke says with a glint in his eye. “I think there’s a shirt in there which might belong to me.” Michael splutters, but Luke shuts him up with a finger to his lips. “It’s cute.”

“Well, I better let you go,” Luke says, stepping away from Michael and waving at Karen who’s watching them in the mirror.

“C’mere one second?” Michael asks, sticking out his hand, and when Luke takes it he leads him up to his mom’s open window.

“You ready Mikey?” Karen asks, looking at the boys’ intertwined hands.

“Mom,” Michael starts. “This is Luke.”

“She knows who I am, what are you..”

“Luke’s my boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's that. I actually cannot believe I actually finished it wow.   
> I just wanna say thanks to anyone who read or commented and messaged me on tumblr or left kudos or anything. Honestly you guys are so great and sweet and made me cry so many happy tears. I can't believe people actually read my crap but there you go. 
> 
> If you wanna come be my friend and tell me how you're doing on tumblr it's t1mburton :) 
> 
> Thanks again for reading I love you all


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i KNOW im beating a dead horse but I got the epilogue into my head and it would not GO AWAY and so i wrote this. it's trash and im sorry and you can 100% ignore it. honestly.   
> it's only teeny tiny so im sorry for that too.   
> (also it was kinda pissing me off that this fic had an odd number of chapters so.)   
> so yeah. sorry.

 “And there it is,” Luke says as he drives the car underneath the old wooden sign. “How weird is it driving up here knowing that we’re not staying?” Michael doesn’t hear him, too busy staring into the back seat where Charlie is fast asleep in his car seat.

“We can still change our minds,” Michael mumbles, resting his cheek against the seat and looking at Luke as he puts the car into park. “He’s still a little young, he could wait until next year. I won’t mind if you wanna pull him out.”

Luke rolls his eyes. “He’s six, Michael.”

“Yeah but –“

“But nothing,” Luke says with a small laugh. “He’s gonna be fine.”

“What if he’s not?”

“I think the problem here is that you’re gonna miss him more than he’s gonna miss us.” Luke says, putting on his sunglasses and opening the car door. “Wake him up, I’m gonna get the bags out of the trunk and drop them over in the cabins. Come join me once mini-you is sorted.”

Michael sighs and rests back against the seat. “If you’re sure.”

Luke leans across the console and kisses Michael softly on the lips before climbing out of the car. “I’m sure. Move it, Clifford.”

“Clifford-Hemmings,” Michael mumbles as he looks into the back seat one more time before giving in and unbuckling his seatbelt. Charlie isn’t too happy about being woken up, turning his head away from Michael and squeezing his eyes shut while Michael fumbles with the buckles of the car seat. “Six years,” he whispers, desperately pulling at the buckle. It’s just as embarrassing here with nobody around as it is in the school car park when some of the moms have to come over and help him. He’s starting to think car seats have a personal vendetta against him. “Six years and you’d think I’d be able to... hey I did it!” He says when the buckle finally pops open, looking around and smiling even though nobody is there to see his small victory, Luke too busy with the bags. How a six year old needs so much, Michael will never understand.

“Charlie,” he calls, shaking at his boy’s shoulder to try and get him to wake up. “Charlie, c’mon, we’re at camp you gotta get up.”

“No,” Charlie says flatly, turning away from Michael completely, keeping his eyes closed.

“Well, at least we know where he gets that from,” Michael hears from behind him, and shoots his head up so fast he knocks it off the roof of the car.

“Fuck,” he says, rubbing the sore spot and turning to face the new comer. “I’m sorry, I just...” The words stop coming when he recognises the boy – well, teenager – in front of him. Ten years older, a few feet higher, pierced and tattooed with hair dyed a bright green. “No fucking way,” he says, smile cracking his face in two. “No _way_ are you my little dude! Look at the size of you!”

Pete shrugs with a laugh, and before Michael can even comprehend what’s happening he’s got an armful of teenager that knocks him back a step and almost takes the breath of him.

“How’ve you been, man?” Michael asks, still with Pete’s arms around his middle and his face buried in Pete’s hair. “What’s been going on with you?”

“Nothing, really. Got into SVA with an art scholarship, finally saw Green Day live,” he says, pulling away from Michael and fixing his fringe back into place after the hug messed it up. “Been working here for the past three summers.”

“SVA? Holy shit, that’s huge! Congratulations! And you got tattooed, pierced. Man, I can’t even say I’m surprised.”

Pete laughs. “It was inevitable really. So what about you? Has life been kind?”

“Yeah,” Michael says smiling and looking back into the car where Charlie is still fast asleep. Even though they adopted him, the kid takes after them in so many ways it’s a little scary sometimes, and there’s no doubt he got his sleeping habits from Michael. Michael just hopes he gets his school ethic from Luke, otherwise they’re in for a lifetime of fighting with him to actually _attend_ school. “You could say that. Married Luke a few years ago,” he says, holding up his left hand to show off the simple silver band. “Adopted Charlie a few years before the wedding, but it worked out fine. Luke got his books published, I’m teaching music in school, so we’re pretty domestic. No playing stadium tours or anything too crazy, but I think this is what it was supposed to be.”

“That sounds great! Charlie’s in my cabin,” Pete says with a smile. “When I saw Hemmings-Clifford, I guessed there was only one couple it had to be, and I was right. Me and Anna are his counsellors. You remember Anna?”

“Of course! I actually cannot believe you’re looking after my kid, I feel so old. I looked after _you_.”

“Michael!” Luke complains, and both Michael and Pete turn in his direction.

“You in trouble?” Pete asks, raising one eyebrow and smirking at Michael.

“I don’t know,” Michael says, watching as Luke walks over to them.

“Charlie is still fast asleep, which means he’s not gonna go to sleep early tonight and he’ll probably keep the other kids up. I asked you to wake him while I took his bags to the cabin. It’s your fault he sleeps like the dead in the first place..”

“Luke,” Michael cuts off, wrapping an arm around Luke’s waist and pulling him close to kiss his temple. “You remember Pete?”

“Pete? Little Pete that went to this camp?”

Michael gestures with his head towards Pete, who’s standing in front of them, still smiling.

“Fuck. You’re not so little anymore,” Luke chuckles, and opens his arms for a hug. “It’s been too long.”

Michael leaves them alone for a moment to catch up while he walks back to the car to wake a still sleeping Charlie. “Hey, kiddo,” he says, brushing the soft curls off Charlie’s forehead and tucking them behind his ear. “You gotta get up, we’re here. You wanna come meet your counsellor?” Charlie’s warm brown eyes blink open, and he smiles when he sees Michael.

“Hi, Daddy,” he says, voice croaky and still heavy with sleep. He balls his hands into fists and rubs his eyes before holding his arms out from Michael to lift him from the car. He’s small for a six year old, toddling over to Luke, the laces from his untied Converse dragging in the dirt. Michael walks behind him, and holds a hand out for Charlie when he stops abruptly, finally spotting Pete. He grips Michael’s hand, looking warily at the stranger in front of him.

“Definitely your kid,” Pete says with a laugh, taking in Charlie’s ripped jeans and Pokémon t-shirt, little plaid shirt tied around his waist. Charlie shies away from Pete, trying to hide himself away behind Michael’s legs.

“Michael dressed him this morning.”

Pete walks towards Charlie, squatting down and extending a hand that Charlie shakes once before ducking back behind Michael. “Hey, I’m Pete. I’m gonna be looking out for you this summer, that sound fun?”

Charlie nods. Michael can feel it against the side of his thigh.

“You know, when I was a little bit older than you, your daddies both looked after me here. And your daddy Michael let me break the rules all the time by staying up late and playing music for me. I think it’s time I return the favour huh?”

Charlie smiles and says “Yeah!” while Luke and Michael both mutter something about keeping him in check and not getting him tossed out within the first week. Charlie takes the hand Pete holds out for him, giving Michael’s leg one last squeeze before letting go completely.

Michael’s throat tightens a little bit, and he can already feel the tears burning the back of his eyes. He knows what’s coming now. He’s been trying to prepare himself for it since they decided that letting Charlie go to summer camp was a good idea. But it’s a lot harder than he thought, because as he sees Charlie chatting excitedly with Pete about swimming in the lake and going on nature walks and sharing a room with other kids, he realises that he’s not going to see his baby boy for _eight whole weeks._

“Don’t you dare,” Luke says through a smile, pulling Michael closer again, this time from behind as he whispers into Michael’s ear. “Because if you start, I’ll start, and I don’t want him to see the two of us crying.”

“He’s..”

“He’s going to be absolutely fine. He’s with Pete, and look, they’ve bonded already. Pete’s showing off his tattoos.”

“Okay, I’m gonna go say goodbye, then we can...”

Michael makes it two steps forward before Luke is grabbing his belt and pulling him backwards. “Leave him. He’s happy. Give him a wave and a smile and I’ll give you a hug when we get to the car. How does that sound?”

Michael grumbles, turning so he’s face to face with Luke. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Keep it PG, guys” Pete says, and Michael turns his head to stick his tongue out.

“Where’s my child?” He says instead, noticing that Pete is on his own.

Pete points to a group of kids that have gathered on the patch of grass by the lake. (The spot where he and Luke made up, Michael can’t help but think.) They’re playing tag, running and laughing.

“I want updates,” Michael says, one hundred percent serious. “Pictures, information, details. If he sneezes funny, I want to know about it.”

“You know the rules better than anyone,” Pete says with a smirk. “No phones.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Luke says, addressing Pete but smacking Michael’s arse lightly. “Only if there’s an emergency call us.”

“Got it,” Pete says. “But I gotta go round up my group for this year. I’ll see you on parent’s day though? You guys are coming up?”

“Of course,” Michael says.

“If I can even get him to leave now,” Luke laughs, and kisses Michael’s temple in a weak apology when Michael gasps in offence.

“You’ll probably see Brendan and Jake there, they’re on holiday right now so they have to drop Lily off a week late.”

“Brendan and Jake sorted out their shit, huh? And a kid too,” Luke says, not even sounding surprised.

“Fuck we’re all so old. I used to be you,” Michael groans, pointing a finger at Pete. “Enjoy your youth, don’t let it go to waste.”

“Hon, you’re only twenty nine,” Luke says, but Michael waves him off.

Pete laughs, starting to back away. “I really gotta go, but I’ll see you soon. And I’ll be sure to keep Charlie safe.”

“That’s all I ask.”

They’re almost back at the car when Michael feels someone tackle his legs from behind. He does some sort of half twist to look down and see who it is, Charlie already looking up at him.

“You okay, kiddo?”

“Just wanted to say bye.”

Michael picks him up, Charlie’s small legs wrapping around his waist, and hugs him tight. Luke sandwiches him in from the other side, wrapping his arms around Charlie and Michael, kissing the back of Charlie’s head. They stay in the hug for as long as Charlie lets them, squirming after a few minutes to be put down.

“Dads, c’mon. I was playing, let me down.”

Luke steps away, and Michael lowers Charlie to the ground. His feet barely touch the floor and Michael doesn’t get another word in before he’s sprinting back over to the group of kids. Michael squints his eyes shut, but feels one tear fall anyway, hot against his cheek.

“Aww,” Luke says, grabbing Michael’s arm and pulling him close. “We’ll see him soon.”

“We could stay on as chaperones or something. I’m sure they’d appreciate the help.”

“That’s a great idea. And while we’re here, we can go on another hike. Back to the waterfall. What do you say?”

“I could hardly do it ten years ago, even the thought of it now makes me feel violently ill.”

“It’ll be fun. And we can do some of the other trails that we didn’t have time to do when we were here last.”

“Get in the damn car, Hemmings,” Michael says.

Luke smiles, knowing that he won. “Hey, that’s Hemmings-Clifford to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yup. that's definitely it, haha.   
> and as always, come talk to me on tumblr @ t1mburton :)


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